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  • God Punishes Democrats, Forces Obama Speech Indoors

    This year's Democratic platform failed to mention God. In fact, excluding the Lord from important documents is a liberal conspiracy as old as the republic. It stretches back all the way to the U.S. Constitution. This has not escaped the attention of the man upstairs. Sure, God doesn't like brown nosers, but He likes a little attention.

    In response to their heathen ways — or perhaps because like the GOP, the Democrats scheduled their convention in a Southern city at the end of Summer —  Providence is calling forth a severe thunderstorm forecast, forcing the Democratic National Convention Committee to announce this morning that President Obama's speech accepting his renomination, originally planned for Bank of America Stadium on Thursday, September 6, would be moved to Time Warner Cable Arena, the site of the first two days of the 2012 Democratic National Convention.

    For the president, it means a shrinking live audience. At this rate, the speech will go from a 65,000-person Bank of America Stadium to a 20,000-person Time Warner Cable Arena to a Charlotte Waffle House.

    But there's good news for fans of Eastwooding. 65,000 empty chairs makes for a lot of Invisible Obamas to yell at.

    Photos by Douglas Graham/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Democratic National Convention, Weather
  • Bobby Jindal Would Like Some Government Money

    Bobby JindalYesterday, my colleague and sometime swing dance partner Ilya Gerner reported on Bobby Jindal's bad luck with the weather. But apparently Bobby isn't satisfied with his karmic reward yet…

    On Monday, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) sent a letter to Obama saying the federal government was not doing enough to help the state cover the expenses it's taking on in preparation for the storm.

    Actually, that sounds pretty reasonable. Any sane person would agree that part of the government's job is to use its resources to address potentially dangerous weather activity, right?

    Let's take one more look at what 2009 Bobby Jindal said about a $140 million allocation of government funds spent on monitoring volcanoes

    "Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C.," Jindal said.

    Oh, right! Louisiana doesn't have volcanoes, just hurricanes. How much money did you want again?

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Bobby Jindal, Weather
  • Hurricane Isaac: Throbbing Gay Penis or Obama Conspiracy?

    Tropical storm Isaac was a deadly natural disaster that triggered mudslides and flash-floods in Haiti, leaving tent cities ravaged and 10 people dead. By pure coincidence, that also happens to be the name of a fun little metaphor bearing down on the Gulf Coast. Let's count down what soon-to-be Hurricane Isaac really means

    1. It's a penis, coming to get the Republicans. "Isaac doesn't appear to be a Republican, and not only because it presents on the weather map as a throbbing purple penis surrounded by a rainbow," says Andrew Sullivan.

    Read More »


    Tags: Andrew Sullivan, Darrell Issa, Natural Disasters, Republican National Convention, Rush Limbaugh, Weather
  • God Enjoys Mocking Bobby Jindal with Natural Disasters

    Consider the following timeline:

    February 2009: "Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C.," said Bobby Jindal, while deriding as "wasteful spending the "$140 million" [allocated]  for something called 'volcano monitoring.'"

    March 2009: Alaska's Mount Redoubt, 100 miles southwest of Anchorage, erupts. According to the U.S. Geological Survey, Redoubt, was "very high on our list" of volcanoes that needed increased scrutiny.

    Today: Tropical Storm Isaac forces Jindal, who was set to deliver a major convention speech on Wednesday, to cancel his plans and remain in Louisiana, as God continues to teach Jindal a lesson about the importance of taxpayer funded early warning systems.

    Presumably, Jindal relied on his own private intuition, not the National Hurricane Center, to figure out that he was needed at home. Government  monitoring agencies: he didn't build those. He just wanted to defund them.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Bobby Jindal, Natural Disasters, Republican National Convention, Weather
  • Tweet Untweet: Hurricane Isaac


    Tags: Republican National Convention, Republicans, Twitter, Weather, Women's Rights