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Weekly Standard
  • State Department Denies Hillary Clinton Veep Rumors with Awful Poetry

    With highly-placed Democratic strategists Sarah Palin and John McCain advising President Barack Obama to replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton, it was well past time for The Weekly Standard to join in the concern trolling.

    TWS reporter Daniel Halper has been all over this "story," causing State Department spokesman and Hillary Clinton confidant Philippe Reines to send him this missive, dismissing "reports" that Clinton and White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett met to discuss a VP switcharoo

    "This did not happen
    "They did not have lunch
    "They did not have any meal
    "They did not meet this month
    "They did not meet last month
    "They did not meet in 2012
    "They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009
    "This is not happening
    "Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility
    "Truth is that Ed Klein's motto is 'If at first you don't succeed, lie lie again.'"

    Halper interprets this as Reines channeling "his inner Dr. Seuss," though there's only the vaguest resemblance to Green Eggs and Ham and no evidence suggesting Reines was trying to write anything but free verse. In the same email chain, White House spokesman Tommy Vietor sent Halper a link to this animated video of a man beating a dead horse, which Halper did not initially understand as a reference to his credulous stories about a Clinton vice-presidential nomination.

    In any case, either the State Department press office or The Weekly Standard needs a lesson in what poetry looks like, so here's a limerick that admittedly would not pass muster with Theodor Giesel…

    Read More »

    Tags: Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Media, Veepstakes, Weekly Standard
  • Barack Obama Blows Ronald Reagan's Legacy to Bits

    missile-1980-verticalHelp, someone. I feel faint

    The new plan that President Obama laid out for a missile shield against Iran on Thursday turns Ronald Reagan's vision of a Star Wars system on its head: Rather than focusing first on protecting the continental United States, it shifts the immediate effort to defending Europe and the Middle East.

    Nooo! Not Ronald Reagan's vision of a Star Wars system! That's like snatching food from the hands of a starving orphan and then eating a pizza in front of him, just to spite Mother Teresa's ghost!

    There's no time to read about how Obama's plan will replace old technology with new technology and realign defense priorities based on what Iran is actually doing with its short-range missile program. No time for that, we need a delivery of smelling salts to the Weekly Standard

    This is a decision based purely on ideology and the good soldiers on the Joint Chiefs of Staff and and at the Pentagon have no choice but to go along for the ride. At least the president ought to be honest about what this means and stop the smears of missile defense.

    Quick poll: Are Barack Obama's smears of our missile defense system motivated by race, yes or no?

    Tags: Barack Obama, Military, Ronald Reagan, Russia, Star Wars, Weekly Standard
  • I Fear for the Safety of Bill Kristol

    I have strong suspicions that William Kristol has been drugged and kidnapped and is being held against his will in some dank basement somewhere.

    The Weekly Standard's blog posted this statement supposedly written by Kristol, and there's just no way…

    "We could be at an historical inflection point in Iran. The United States may be able to play an important role… Presuming ahead of time that Obama will fail to exercise leadership, and cataloguing this episode pre-emptively as another in a list of Obama failures, would be a mistake.

    "The U.S. has a huge stake in the possible transformation, or at least reformation, of the Iranian regime. If there's some chance of that happening, and some chance of U.S. policy contributing to that outcome, we should hope Obama does the right thing, and urge and pressure him to do so — because then the United States will be doing the right thing, and the United States, and the world, will benefit."

    That's an even more obvious sham than Iran's election. Come on, people, you're not fooling anyone.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Iran, Weekly Standard, William Kristol
  • From the Pork Barrel: Warming Up to Denying Global Warming

    * The Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes won't do your research for you. Hey, he won't even do his own research for himself!

    * If you think the Bernie Madoff scandal makes you sick now, wait till you experience it in musical form.

    * Facebook group "1,000,000 Strong to Strip the Mormon Church of its Tax Exempt Status" only short by about 9,995,000 members or so.

    * Reason mag looks into President Obama's War on the Economy.

    * Joe Lieberman, just as popular in his home state as you'd expect him to be.

    * I almost wrote that Governor Schwarzenegger was planning to terminate thousands of jobs, but then I thought better of it.

    Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama, Bernie Madoff, California, Climate Change, Connecticut, Economy, Environment, Joe Lieberman, LGBT, Libertarian, Mormon, Pork Barrel, Proposition 8, Religion, Stimulus, Weekly Standard
  • The Weekly Standard Says "[Expletive] You" to Jon Stewart

    OK, readers, you may find this shocking but it's the truth. The Weekly Standard — that right-wing neoconservative rag owned by Rupert Murdoch and edited by Bill Kristol — has a problem with Jon Stewart.

    Turns out that they're might peeved about a stand up appearance Stewart did at Northeastern University in Boston Friday night. In particular, they were concerned with a line the "Daily Show" host had about Gov. Sarah Palin…

    "She came out again today. She was talking to a small town, she said that small towns, that's the part of the country she really likes going to because that's the pro-America part of the country.

    "You know, I just want to say to her, just very quickly… fuck you."

    Well, the Weekly Standard didn't actually quote him directly on that last part. Instead they transcribed it as "[expletive] you." But I think it's safe to assume that he didn't say "shame on you."

    The Weekly Standard crew was also up in arms over the fact that the Stewart routine didn't get much attention in the mainstream liberal media…

    The media has devoted hundreds of stories of late to the tenor of audience comments at McCain-Palin rallies, fretting about "rage" and "incitement" by the campaign, but the only account of Stewart's appearance is a one-sentence mention in the Boston Globe, and his abusive Palin comments are not included.

    Hmm… so Jon Stewart's public appearances don't get as much play as John McCain's. I'm just speculating here, but could it be because one of them is running for president of the United States, and the other one gets his paychecks from the same place that I do?

    Tags: John McCain, Jon Stewart, Massachusetts, Sarah Palin, The Daily Show, Weekly Standard