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Westboro Baptist Church
  • The Koran Burning Rally Is Off (or, More Specifically, It's On But Somewhere Else)

    Hey, so that Koran burning thing is off now?

    The minister of a Florida church said he has canceled plans to burn copies of the Quran because the leader of a much-opposed plan to build an Islamic Center near ground zero has agreed to move its location. The agreement couldn't be immediately confirmed…

    He said instead of his plan to burn the books on Saturday to mark the ninth anniversary of 9/11, he will be flying to New York to speak to Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf about moving the mosque.

    Yes, I'm sure that Pastor Terry Jones and Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf were on the horn together all day hashing out a compromise over this. They're all like, Buy! Sell! No mosque! No Koran burning! That's almost certainly what happened.

    "We are, of course, now against any other group burning Qurans," Jones said during a news conference. We would right now ask no one to burn Qurans. We are absolutely strong on that. It is not the time to do it."

    Oh, of course. Of course. Absolutely strong on that. Can we please get this guy his Nobel Peace Prize now? I mean, why wait?

    Anyway, I guess this particular doomsday scenario has run it's course.


    Westboro Baptist Church, the small Topeka, Kan., church that pickets funerals of American soldiers to spread its message that God is punishing the country for being tolerant of homosexuals, has vowed to hold a Quran burning if Gainesville's Dove World Outreach Center calls its off.

    We can always count on you, Fred Phelps. We can always count on you.

    Tags: Christianity, Feisal Abdul Rauf, Florida, Fred Phelps, Islam, New York City, Religion, Terry Jones, Westboro Baptist Church
  • In Case You're Wondering Who Wins, It's This Guy Who Is the Guy Who Wins

    And it is Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church are the ones who are losing…

    Tags: Christianity, Fred Phelps, Money, Religion, Westboro Baptist Church
  • Mr. and Mr. Gay Marriage Goes to Washington

    Just look at these happy, loving couples finally getting the opportunity to join their lives together in the eyes of the law, will you? Turns your stomach, doesn't it? Gay people, pretending like they're real people. Ugh!

    You tell me what kind of a loving God wouldn't take offense at this kind of joyous display of human affection. Certainly not a Catholic God, as evidenced by this video…

    Way to make a stand, Catholic Church! If gay people are allowed to not be treated like half-citizens, then no one gets health care! Everybody can just get sick and die from all the sinful pestilence that will be stirred up into the air, for all you care. I totally remember that part from the Bible. (It was right near the part with the unicorn, I think.)

    Speaking of which, you know all the recent seismic activity lately? Turns out that those are all preemptive strikes against this abomination by the Lord

    "The lava under this Earth's crust is busting loose all over this place," [Westboro Baptist Church] member Tim Phelps told Fox News. "This nation is going to be utterly destroyed and it's going to be with fire."


    Tags: Catholic Church, Christianity, Health Care, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Religion, Washington DC, Westboro Baptist Church
  • Fred Phelps Fighting for Your Constitutional Right to Be a Horrible, Horrible Person

    I doubt I'm stating a particularly unpopular opinion when I say that Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps essentially a human pustule. I'm pretty sure that even most Baptists would be hard-pressed to find fault with that statement.

    That said, when Snyder v. Phelps hits the Supreme Court this fall, I think I'm gonna be siding with the human pustule…

    The court agreed Monday to consider whether the protesters' message, no matter how provocative and upsetting, is protected by the First Amendment. Members of a Kansas-based church have picketed military funerals to spread their belief that U.S. deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq are punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.

    …over the grieving father, for whom my heart goes out…

    The justices will hear an appeal from the father of a Marine killed in Iraq to reinstate a $5 million verdict against the protesters, after they picketed outside his son's funeral in Maryland.

    A jury in Baltimore awarded Albert Snyder damages for emotional distress and invasion of privacy, but a federal appeals court threw out the verdict. The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the signs contained "imaginative and hyperbolic rhetoric" protected by the First Amendment.

    Hey, it's called the First Amendment, not the First People Should Think the Same Way That I Think. (That sounded more clever inside my brain.)

    Anyway, I think it was Evelyn Beatrice Hall who said "I disapprove of your terrible, hate-inspired bigot-speak and kind of wish you would suffer a brain aneurysm, but I will defend to the death your right to say it while hoping that the aneurysm is on its way." Or something like that.

    Tags: Bill of Rights, Christianity, Constitution, Fred Phelps, Religion, Supreme Court, Westboro Baptist Church