Our Endorsements: Al Roker Is a Card

* A sympathy card for Al Roker haters.

* It's so hard to say goodbye to 30 Rock.

* Keep calm and carry on, Kate Middleton.

* Google teaches us how to speak in Flanders.

* Ever seen a grown man naked, Mr. President?

* A detailed article on how the NASA space pen works.

* Does homeowners' insurance cover damage from a robot war?

* #TheTCOTComedian is a joke. A hilarious joke that we hope never ends.

Tags: Al Roker, Barack Obama, Conservatives, Daily Links, Google, Jack Lew, Jimmy Fallon, Kate Middleton, NASA, The Onion, Tina Fey, Twitter, White House

White House Won't Deport Piers Morgan

On the heels of Alex Jones' implosion on the Piers Morgan show, the White House announced that it would respond to Jones' petition calling for Morgan's deportation because of his pro-gun control advocacy.

The petition did create some unnatural alliances and mixed feelings — pro-gun conservatives found themselves wanting to deport a white person for once, liberals found themselves conflicted between defending First Amendment rights and the knowledge that this was Piers Morgan we're talking about — but it was a long shot. This morning's statement by White House press secretary Jay Carney confirms that our national nightmare of putting up with Morgan isn't going to end any time soon:

Let's not let arguments over the Constitution's Second Amendment violate the spirit of its First. President Obama believes that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to bear arms. However, the Constitution not only guarantees an individual right to bear arms, but also enshrines the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press — fundamental principles that are essential to our democracy. Americans may disagree on matters of public policy and express those disagreements vigorously, but no one should be punished by the government simply because he or she expressed a view on the Second Amendment — or any other matter of public concern.

Great, thanks. Now get to the Death Star petition already.

Related: Alex Jones Goes Full Alex Jones on Piers Morgan Show [VIDEO]

Photo by Stuart Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Alex Jones, CNN, Guns, Jay Carney, Piers Morgan, White House

Tweet Untweet: That Roker Magic

COOL TRICK: take any $20 bill, fold it once, unfold it, turn it over to the side with the White House. Al Roker pooped his pants there.

— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) January 7, 2013

 

Tags: Al Roker, Tweet Untweet, Twitter, White House

Americans Demand a Joe Biden Reality Show

Spiro Agnew, one of Joe Biden's extremely uncomedic vice presidential predecessors, once called American television a "vast wasteland." This may soon change.

Proposing an idea so logical as to be almost obvious once you've heard it, petitioners are asking the Obama administration to sanction a Joe Biden reality TV show…

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Tags: CSPAN, Joe Biden, Television, White House

Petitioners Demand Ron Paul Meeting, Death Star Construction

It's been a while since we checked in on the civic-minded Americans who have flooded the White House "We the People" website with petitions to "punch Grover Norquist in the dick" or demand secession for the states in the wake of Barack Obama's re-election. The demand for a redress of grievances has not abated. Here are some of the best–not smartest, not most sensical, just best–recent petitions.

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Tags: Food, Ron Paul, Star Wars, Video Games, White House