From the Pork Barrel: Leader of the Choom Gang

* According to a soon-to-be-released book, teenaged Barry Obama spent his free time smoking pot amongst other activities. Just kidding. There were no other activities.

* Hey, who's that white guy next to Obama? Must be William Ayers!

* Here's an interesting new strategy: "Please, Please, Please Call Me a Racist™" Good luck with that.

* Has the DNC actually discovered a rare electable Arizona Democrat?

* Don't forget to download our Election Companion App for iPhone and iPad and follow along as we liveblog Defense Secretary Leon Panetta on this Sunday's This Week on ABC.

Tags: Arizona, Democrats, Department of Defense, Drugs, Hawaii, Leon Panetta, Marijuana, Pork Barrel, Racism, Richard Carmona, Senate, William Ayers

Tworld News: Week of March 29, 2011

Everyone on Twitter is finally back on topic with important news issues, it's reminiscent of a time BRB (Before Rebecca Black)

So apparently she's running for President, but on a scale of 1 to Palin, where exactly is Michele Bachmann in terms of hot/crazy?

Hey Newt, if you like Libya so much, why don't you marry it??

Read More »

Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Books, Donald Trump, Libya, Michele Bachmann, Military, NATO, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Twitter, Tworld News, William Ayers

Bill Ayers "Admits to" Writing Barack Obama's Memoir

Okay, so you've heard that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim who prays toward Mecca three days a day from the unobserved confines of the White, right? And you've heard that he was actually born in Kenya and there is a government-wide bi-partisan conspiracy to pass off some unofficial "certificate of live birth" as supposed proof that he was born in Hawaii, I'm guessing. And something about an Antichrist, too, right?

But have you heard the one about how Barack Obama's critically acclaimed personal memoir, Dreams From My Father, was actually authored by former Weather Underground urban terrorist William Ayers? No? Well, get ready to, because you're about to hear about it a lot and for a long time, courtesy of Mr. Ayers himself who — apparently unaware that subtle sarcasm and conservative willful-credulity are a caustic combination — acknowledged the conspiracy meme…

Well, that's that. We are never again going to live in a world in which everybody's uncle, grandmother and brother-in-law walk around without a strong opinion about Barack Obama's personal memories about growing up without his father. Gone are the days in which a rational person could cite the President's childhood in Hawaii without a next-cubicle-over co-worker chiming in about how an unapologetic terrorist admitted to having fabricated that story. From now on, every Tea Party member in America is an expert on Barack Obama's personal history!

Please enjoy this scared new world in which you now live.

Tags: Barack Obama, Books, William Ayers

Birther Scandal Did Not Meet McCain Campaign's High Standards of Intelligence

In the last few months of the 2008 presidential election, the McCain campaign — which tried to make people believe that their opponent was a terrorist because he knew a guy once, chose a V.P. candidate who doesn't read the news, and campaigned with a plumber who isn't a plumber — took a look at the Barack Obama birth certificate "scandal" and decided it was just too stupid for them.

Wow! That's saying a fucking lot…

Sen. John McCain's (R-Ariz.) campaign learned of a lawsuit filed in Pennsylvania that asked the state to strip Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) of the Democratic nomination on suspicion that he was not an American citizen.

The complaint for declaratory and injunctive relief was filed by Phil Berg, a former deputy state attorney general who left government in 1990 for a series of gadfly political campaigns… One lawyer who was doing some work for the campaign was tasked with reading Berg's lawsuit and gauging its chances of success.

"The conversation was along the lines of 'this is idiotic, but explain to me why,'" said the lawyer, who spoke under condition of anonymity to TWI. "I looked at whether the lawsuit was going to be dismissed. I said yes."

I'm not sure, but I think that means that anybody who's still buying into that rumor is eligible for half-price tickets at the roller skating rink around the corner from my house on Wednesdays. But you have to wear a helmet. And you can't bring pizza on the rink.

No exceptions!

Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Conspiracies, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Sarah Palin, William Ayers

Somebody's Trying to Hide Incredibly Well Known Pseudo-Scandals About Barack Obama from Wikipedia

Uh oh. Looks like Chairman Obama has been siccing his Ministry of Information agents on Wikipedia to scrub his page clean of all the important, completely-not-conspiratory information about him…

The brewing scandal was first reported by WorldNetDaily reporter Aaron Klein, who noticed that edits adding references to [William] Ayers and [Jeremiah] Wright, among other things, were quickly being undone by Wikipedia volunteers.

Klein found it particularly alarming that a Wikipedia user called "Jerusalem21" was recently hit with a three-day wiki-suspension after twice posting the neutral and encyclopedic fact that there are "some doubts about whether Obama was born in the U.S. "

That was Sunday. Fox picked up Klein's explosive scoop today, noting in the first paragraph that — in contrast to Obama's entry — the Wikipedia "pages for Ayers and Wright are heavily peppered with references to the president."

What?! You mean the Wiki pages for Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright — two men who are talked about today solely because of their relationships with Barack Obama — mention their relationships with Barack Obama. But the page about Barack Obama doesn't mention them?

What can they possibly write about on his page if not about Jeremiah Wright or William Ayers? Has he done anything else of importance besides know them?

Well, I mean, besides the presidency thing.

Tags: Barack Obama, Fox, Jeremiah Wright, Wikipedia, William Ayers, WorldNetDaily