* If you missed anything this week, here's an overview from The Onion.
* This NY Times puff piece on Mitt Romney isn't so puffy.
* Americans used to be record holders, but not anymore.
* Money can officially grow on trees, via Laughing Squid.
* Mother Jones speculates about the classes at "Newt University".
Tags: Daily Links, Michelle Obama, Mother Jones, New York Times, Newt Gingrich, Patriotism, Republican National Convention, The Daily Show, The Onion, Wonkette
* The story of Crispus Attucks, as told by Wayne Brady and an Ice Cube song. NSFW but amazing.
* President Obama urges parents to hide nation's former wealth from their children, from The Onion.
* Aspirin brand tries to capitalize on their new status as a form of birth control.
* Wonkette covers the Newt Gingrich bus breakdown in West Hollywood.
* Groucho jokes that were too controversial for the 1950s, from Splitsider.
* Jimmy Kimmel spoofs Rick Santorum's new ad.
* From McSweeny's, a piece on what it's like to be president of the United States.
Tags: Daily Links, Funny or Die, Jimmy Kimmel, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Rick Santorum, The Onion, Wonkette
If you didn't have time to watch the full seven-hours of Bill O'Reilly's 15-minute sit-down with the President from the other night, don't bother. Because the good people at Wonkette took the time to edit it down to just the essential three minutes of Bill O'Reilly behaving like Bill O'Reilly…
48 interruptions in 15 minutes? That's 3.2 interruptions a minute. Imagine that. Going to the trouble of booking the President for your show, traveling down to Washington DC, going through White House security and setting up your cameras and lighting equipment just to not let the guy finish a sentence.
This is what Freedom of the Press was invented for.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Fox, Wonkette
Sara Benincasa — comedian, radio host and friend to Indecision (but probably not to Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann) — debuts her new weekly column about the President previously known as Barry Soetoro on Wonkette today. Yay! (But, also, Boohoo a little, 'cause we're a bit jealous.)
Here's what we in the biz call an extracted portion of text…
On Tuesday, no one could deny the rousing eloquence of Obama’s big speech from the Oval Office, a speech that was exactly like "I Have a Dream" plus Nixon's Checkers speech plus whatever the fuck Jesus said on the cross combined, only better…
Then on Thursday, while Tony Hayward was getting stretched on the rack, Obama put on a magic suit and flew to outer space, where he pushed the Earth back so that we went back in time, and he saved us from an even greater disaster that could have happened, only we’ll never know it, because he is sworn to secrecy. That is the only reason for his "cool" as a "cucumber" approach to this oil spill. He knows how bad it could have been.
I really think this being funny thing is working out for her. Maybe we should give it a try here sometime. But probably not, because, well, you know.
Tags: Barack Obama, Michele Bachmann, Sara Benincasa, Sarah Palin, Wonkette
Here is a document of her ongoing struggle to understand this thing that humans call "humor"…
It is an odd thing. These human bodies convulse in fits of laughter even though they are not witnessing the death throes of a supernova imploding into its own mass.
Very curious, these semi-intelligent hominids and their customs.
Update: Wonkette's response.
Tags: Cindy McCain, Wonkette