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  • Tim Tebow's Union Asks Why Politicians Hate Workers, Football and the American Way

    God is sending such confusing signals this election cycle.

    Last night, Tim Tebow threw for two touchdowns and 316 NFL yards, which is approximately 3 million Angel yards. It's a clear message that we should direct our votes to Rick Perry or Rick Santorum, who could appoint the young man Secretary of Christianity and end our nation's highly clandestine — it's so secretive, not even the supposed combatants know about it — war on religion.

    But then, during Sunday's debate, Perry, Santorum and Mitt Romney, all spoke — perhaps unwittingly — against the man who falls (after being betrayed by his offensive line) only to rise again…

    "Right-to-work legislation makes a lot of sense for New Hampshire," said Mr. Romney, at the debate sponsored by NBC News and Facebook.

    "I'm a right-to-work guy," said Mr. Perry. "I come from a right-to-work state and I will tell you, if New Hampshire wants to become a magnet for job creation in the Northeast, you pass that right-to-work legislation in this state."

    Sure, it sounds like anodyne support for legislation making its way through the state capitols across the country that would undermine organized labor by allowing workers to refuse to pay dues, even when they're covered by a collective bargaining unit. Yawn. But! Right-to-work laws are also opposed by Tim Tebow's union, the National Football Players Association, a position that came to light last week when Indiana Democrats absconded from Indianapolis to prevent a vote on the measure…

    We're not just a team of football players — we're also the fans at games and at home, the employees who work the concession stands and the kids who wear the jerseys of our favorite football heroes. NFL players know what it means to fight for workers' rights, better pensions and health and safety in the workplace…"Right-to-work" is a political ploy designed to destroy basic workers' rights. It’s not about jobs or rights…So-called "right-to-work" bills divide working families at a time when communities need to stand united.

    Now I'm confused. Why do these candidates hate football, America and Tim Tebow so much?

    Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images Sports/Getty Images

    Tags: Debates, Football, Indiana, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Sports, Tim Tebow, Unions, Work/office
  • A Look Back at 2011 with The Daily Show – February

    Ah, for the days when young Egyptians were taking to the streets to protest Wisconsin Gov. Scott Brown punching Anderson Cooper in the face.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Tags: Anderson Cooper, Egypt, Jon Stewart, Middle East, Protesters, TDS Looks Back at 2011, The Daily Show, Video, Wisconsin, Work/office
  • Scott Walker Has a New Plan to Create Jobs and Unwanted Children

    You may remember Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker from such controversies as: stripping away public workers' collective-bargaining rights, initiating a series of crippling statewide protests, and possibly getting himself removed from office.

    Well, he's back in the headlines. This time, for an ambitious new plan to get Wisconsin residents working again. With abstinence

    Wisconsin is facing a jobs crisis. The state's official unemployment rate, down to 7.1 percent in January, has risen to 7.8 percent since Republican Gov. Scott Walker took office… Walker called a special jobs-focused session of the Legislature… At the top of the jobs agenda? Gutting the state's sex ed standards and replacing them with abstinence-only education.

    A bill launched during Walker's jobs session and nearing passage in the Legislature would repeal significant portions of the state law that requires schools to provide comprehensive, scientifically accurate, and age-appropriate sex ed… Republicans hold big majorities on the education committee and the Assembly overall, so the bill is expected to pass easily.

    Brilliant! By refusing to teach horny high schoolers the fundamentals of family planning, Walker has given millions of Wisconsin parents a second job as grandparents.

    And just think of all the great private-sector jobs this law will create. More doctors and nurses to treat all the new STD outbreaks. More Babies'R'Us cashiers to sell merchandise for all the little accidents conceived in Applebee's parking lots. And more casting agents for all the new episodes of Teen Mom.

    Scott Walker has such ingenious ideas. Why isn't he running for president already?

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Abstinence, Education, Republicans, Scott Walker, Sex, Unions, Wisconsin, Work/office
  • Joe Biden Thinks Ohio Will Save Us All

    America's favorite tipsy uncle, Joe Biden, recently returned from a kickass Asia tour, where he saw 1.3 billion faces and rocked them all. Biden's next big gig? Beautiful Cincinnati, Ohio, where he spoke at the AFL-CIO's annual Labor Day Picnic. Did Biden play his greatest hits, including the punk anthem "The Cracked-Head Club" and "A Big F*****g Deal"? Nope! He just told Ohio that it is the last defense against the end of civilization as we know it

    "This is a fight for the heart and soul of the labor movement, it's fight literally for our right to exist," Biden said. "Don't misunderstand what this is — you are the only folks keeping the barbarians from the gates."

    Let's learn a bit more about Ohioans, the only folks capable of protecting Big Labor from the marauding hordes!

    * They mix chili and spaghetti. They are unashamed of this fact.
    * They worship a strange tree called the "Buckeye" or Aesculus (not to be confused with Aeschylus, nerds.)
    * They have an identity crisis: half of their state is golly-gosh midwestern, while the other half is hee-haw southern.
    * They wear a lot of sweatshirts.
    * Cleveland rocks (it really does).

    Congratulations, fans of collective bargaining! These are your new leaders. Joe Biden is in the back of a Skyline Chili somewhere as we speak, pounding some fried Kool-Aid and getting ready to tuck into a steaming plate of carbohydrates mixed with processed protein. Rock and roll!

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Joe Biden, Ohio, Unions, Work/office
  • Wisconsin Anti-Labor Law Struck Down in State Court, Crushing Blow to Legislative Procedural Anomoly Something or Other

    Yay! Yaaaaaayyy!!! Remember that anti-labor bill that the Koch Brothers (via Gov. Walker and state congressional Republicans) pushed through the state legislature despite practically everybody ( except the Koch Brothers, Gov. Walker and state congressional Republicans) hating it a few months back?

    Well, it was just struck down in state court, which means that Wisconsin state workers will no longer have to fear their rights being taken away from them (for at least a few weeks or so)

    Dane County (Madison) Judge Maryann Sumi — who had previously blocked Wisconsin's controversial anti-union law from taking effect, pending litigation — has now formally ruled that the manner in which the bill was passed violated the state's Open Meetings law, and that the law itself is therefore not valid

    The matter revolves around a key conference committee used to advance the bill — and to get around the state Senate Dems' walkout from the state — and whether it violated the state's Open-Meetings law by failing to give proper 24-hours notice. Therefore, it is ruling on procedural grounds, rather than on the substance of the bill itself.

    Thus, Republicans have always had an option if they wished to avoid this litigation: Pass the bill again, giving full notice of all relevant hearings and legislative procedures. They have resisted that avenue, believing that to do so would be an admission of guilt on the Open Meetings law when they really concede no such thing. But in recent weeks, they have begun to talk up this very possibility as court action dragged on.

    So, there you have it. Justice wins out for once. Or, for a little while, at any rate. Until they pass it again.

    Power to the people (for now)!

    Photo by Ann Hermes/The Christian Science Monitor/Getty Images

    Tags: Charles Koch, David Koch, Judiciary, Republicans, Scott Walker, State Legislature, Unions, Wisconsin, Work/office