Latest Posts

  • Tomorrow's Barack Obama Conspiracy Theories, Today

    Good news everybody, it is officially goddamned Summer, and not just because the weather has been an Al-Gore-is-melting-the-ice-caps-with-his-fatness 100 degrees everywhere in the country. It is summer because birthers have a new scandal to report.

    According to World Net Daily, Susan Daniels — a 70-year-old private investigator and candidate for president, because why the hell not — has filed a suit in  Ohio, demanding that Barack Obama's name be taken off the ballot until his social security number can be validated…

    Daniels started her investigation in August 2009. Given her profession, she has been able to access a variety of proprietary databases. What she learned without much trouble is that Obama has been using a Social Security Number with the prefix "042" since 1986.

    As she discovered, the "042" number is reserved for the exclusive use of individuals who register in Connecticut. When she ran 10 sequential numbers before and after Obama's, all returned with the documentation "issued 1977-1979 in CT."

    Do we even have to decode this? Obviously this poor Connecticut woman took a vacation to Hawaii, where Obama's grandmother strangled her and replaced Barack's original 666-66-6666 SSN with a more appropriate document. Next?

    Honestly, I'm getting bored with the birther and Social Security number conspiracies. How about something more exotic? Politico once reported that the president attended a press conference without his wedding ring. Has he secretly divorced Michelle? Are Anderson Cooper and the President gay married?

    Similarly, the Americans who believe Obama is a Muslim are way less interesting than the 1% who think he's Mormon. Let's go with that one.

    Photo by Rich Sugg-Pool/Getty Images/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Polls, WorldNetDaily
  • Birthers Attempt to Revive "Debate"

    A new billboard in Des Moines, Iowa is the latest canvas upon which the looniest Tea Partiers can artistically express their very special feelings about our president. Joseph Farah, the person responsible for the aggressively right-wing, has gone and bought himself some ginormous advertising space at the corner of 14th Street and Army Post Road. You can check out Farah's handiwork above, which succinctly asks the question still on everyone's most racist cousin's mind: "WHERE'S THE REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"

    Farah's an old pro at this sort of thing. In fact, he proudly owns up to having essentially invented the birth certificate "controversy" in the first place

    Farah launched the famous "Where's the Birth Certificate?" billboard campaign in May of 2009. At the time, only a very small percentage of Americans were even aware of the eligibility questions surrounding Obama. More than 90 billboards were placed nationwide throughout the course of the campaign. Within six months of its launch, polls showed most Americans were aware of the controversy. Six months later, most Americans doubted Obama's eligibility.

    Ah yes, those halcyon days when "only a very small percentage of Americans" (i.e., Joseph Farah's immediate family) were even aware that a tiny cadre of devoted weirdos wanted to whip up a false controversy in order to cover their real objection to the election of Barack Hussein Obama. We couldn't help but wonder: What if Joseph Farah and his pals just cut the lying and put up a billboard that says what really bothers them about our president?

    We imagine that billboard would look something like this

    Read More »

    Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Iowa, Racism, Tea Party, WorldNetDaily
  • The Antichrist Went Down to Wisconsin

    Uh oh, according to to all the knowledge that Glenn Beck's been droppin' his viewers on, it would appear as though the Antichrist has his hand in these Wisconsin anti-anti-union protests. Buy gold! Buy gold quickly! Before it's too late…

    Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Fox, Glenn Beck, MSNBC, Protesters, Rachel Maddow, Religion, Scott Walker, Unions, Wisconsin, WorldNetDaily
  • Quote Unquote: Make-Believe Mafia Guys Have All the Answers

    World Net Daily columnist Jill Stanek recalls the feel-good movie moment from The Godfather: Part II in which murderer/crime boss Michael Corleone reacts to news of his wife Kay's surreptitious abortion

    "That spontaneous slap was the reaction of a real man who a woman had just told she aborted his baby. Compare that to the modern day cowardly male response, 'It's your choice. Whatever you decide, I'll support you.' Or worse, his threat to abandon her if she does not abort."

    Oh, we can just learn so many things from fictional sociopathic onscreen criminals. For example, I learned to make the most delightsome summer corn chowder from Die Hard's Hans Gruber. You kind of have to read-between his lines of dialogue, but it's totally worth it.

    (via Little Green Footballs)

    Tags: Abortion, Movies, Quote Unquote, WorldNetDaily
  • Conservative Hip-Hop Really Is Coming into Its Own as a Genre, Isn't It?

    If you're the type of person who ever — ever! — gets tired of watching white conservatives embarrassing attempts at co-opting minority culture to further their white conservative anti-minority culture agendas, well, sir, I don't even understand you at all…

    Not bad, Molotov Mitchell and DJ Dolce. Not bad at all. But… Could you possibly decrease its dopeness by a hair and make it just a dash more def?

    Perfect! Now get this into the phonograph collections of every bobby-soxer in these 48 states, post haste!

    (via Wonkette)

    Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Music, WorldNetDaily