The feud between World Wrestling Entertainment and Glenn Beck is shaping up to be the hardcore battle royale of the decade. In one corner stands a caricature with a monomaniacal determination to remain in character as he entertains an audience hungry for crude story lines.
In the other corner is a professional wrestler.
Tags: Glenn Beck, Tea Party, Wrestling
In the contest between senator "man on dog" versus governor "dog on car," the divergence in public images is clear. Mitt Romney is the temporizer who will come around to believe entirely, wholeheartedly, unconditionally in whatever it is that you want him to believe at the moment. Rick Santorum is the consistent social conservative scold, who sees Satan in everything from pornography to the "sexualized violence" of contemporary professional wrestling.
Turns out the picture is more complicated, since Santorum is partially responsible for what pro-wrestling has become. Following graduation from snob school, Santorum worked as a lobbyist, whose job it was to remove the World Wrestling Federation from the clutches of Pennsylvania bureaucrats…
Beginning in 1987, Santorum's mission, as dictated by the WWF, was simple: Get the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission out of the ring. There was no need for state officials to act as referees, because wrestling was a spectacle, not a sport. Nor did it need the state to supply timekeepers, announcers, and doctors — the promoters could take care of that…
Santorum, who called the state's regulatory structure "pernicious" in a later interview, had some legitimate grievances. "They go there, they sit ringside, they bring their friends over the barricade…and they watch the match," he said of state athletic officials. "That's how wrestling is regulated in Pennsylvania." Nothing could justify paying state employees to referee a staged contest: "They made you pay all this money to the boxing commission. They used to just rape these guys," he said, referring to the state agency's treatment of wrestling promoters.
So perhaps Santorum had a point, but I'm fascinated by his views on purely metaphorical "rape" of wrestling promoters. If only he was so compassionate to victims of actual rape.
Photo by T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Lobbyists, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Sports, Wrestling
Former wrestling executive (this is an actual job) Linda McMahon, 62, is trying to fill the small, weird shoes of one Senator Joe Lieberman in 2012. And while she refused donations and spent $50 million of her own American dollars on her last campaign, she wants you to know that you may send her your own monies this time around.
Let's learn more about this brave innovator who paved the way for humans to earn an income by smashing folding chairs across other humans' skulls…
A co-founder with her husband, Vince McMahon, of World Wrestling Entertainment, she drew on her biography of having started a business that now employs hundreds of people and is publicly traded.
And she recounted past struggles with financial adversity, such as the time she and her husband filed for bankruptcy in the mid-1970s and made do without health insurance.
"I know what our families are trying to do to survive every day," she said. "I've been there, and you never forget."
Enjoy your future, Connecticut, in which all end-of-life counseling is provided by the Undertaker, and even the First Dude has a fake tan!
Photo by Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Connecticut, Joe Lieberman, Linda McMahon, Republicans, Senate, Sports, Wrestling
* Michele Bachmann delivers an inspirational Back to School message to our nations students suffering under the yoke of our state-run education system.
* The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer loves those obnoxious, needy, abominations-before-God gay people so so much.
* Professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahaon not giving up on her quest to restore dignity to the U.S. Senate.
* Sen. David Vitter forced into attending President's jobs speech as though he were a U.S. senator.
* President Obama gives liberals their opinions about jobs speech a few hours early.
* Did Rick Perry point his finger at Ron Paul last night in an untoward manner?
Tags: American Family Association, Barack Obama, Bryan Fischer, David Vitter, Debates, Education, LGBT, Linda McMahon, Michele Bachmann, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Sara Benincasa, Senate, Sports, Unemployment, Wrestling
In the race to fill Chris Dodd's Senate seat in Connecticut, ABC News is projecting Democrat Richard Blumenthal will win over former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO and current Triple H's mother-in-law Linda McMahon, who famously donated $50 million dollars of her own money to her campaign.
Projections are all well and good of course, but it's important to remember that the night is not yet over, and there's still plenty of time for Hacksaw Jim Duggan to appear out of nowhere and knock Blumenthal out of the race with a two-by-four.
There also remains the possibility that right before the race is officially called, when the vote-counter comes out and does the thing where he lifts McMahon's hand up and lets it fall to the mat, that on the third drop, her arm will remain raised and she will regain her strength and make a surprising and swift comeback.
Of course, if you ask me, this entire race is fake. They planned out who would win and lose months ago and rehearsed the whole thing.
Tags: Chris Dodd, Connecticut, Linda McMahon, Liveblog, Richard Blumenthal, Senate, Wrestling