Stephen Colbert on the DOJ's License to Kill (American Citizens)

If Americans are so up in arms about Attorney General Eric Holder's defense of executing U.S. citizens without judiciary process, why don't they simply renounce their citizenship. Then they'll be safe.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: al Qaeda, Anwar al-Awlaki, Department of Justice, Eric Holder, Judiciary, Obama Administration, Stephen Colbert, Supreme Court, Terrorism, The Colbert Report, Video, Yemen

The Indecision Guide to Middle East Uprisings

Maybe you've been following the latest anti-government uprisings in the Middle East, or maybe you have been too busy raising your children, studying your textbooks or playing your XBox. All important activities!

Thankfully for you, Indecision is here to give you a brief, handy primer on the goings-on Over There. To start, you need to know that Libya, Yemen, and Bahrain are all currently ruled by people who weren't actually chosen by the populace in, y'know, transparent democratic elections. And the people are mad! Okay, now that you're up to date on the basics, let's get into some specifics.

First up: Libya. Libya has been ruled by mushy-faced dictator Muammar el-Qaddafi forever. His goons are allegedly killing protesters, but he's losing his grip on the country pretty swiftly. Today he went on the teevee to whine about it. He was dressed like a cross between a Tusken Raider and Norma Desmond. This combination accurately reflects his approach to leadership. People are freaking out.

Next, let's take a gander at Yemen. Protesters want President Ali Abdullah Saleh to step down immediately. He has ruled the country since 1978. University students keep setting stuff on fire.

Bahrain is an island where creepy Michael Jackson used to creepily hang out. Later, Prince Abdulla Al-Khalifa of Bahrain sued him! Aaaaanyway, Bahrain's protesters have been non-creepily nonviolent. Their king is called Hamad ibn Isa Khalifa. They have palm trees.

And that's about it! Congratulations on your new degree in Middle Eastern Studies. You're now prepared to go toe-to-toe with any of these so-called "experts" on one of the so-called "news" shows. You're welcome.

Tags: Bahrain, Libya, Middle East, Muammar Qaddafi, Protesters, Yemen

President Obama Blows a Perfect Bumper Sticker Opportunity

It's no secret that President Obama has lost a lot of support among his once-enthusiastic base. Some say it's because of his failure to lead on health care reform. Others blame his reneging on his CSPAN promise. Still others cite his handling of Afghanistan. But maybe the base is really bailing because Obama has forgotten how to speak in catchy bumper-sticker-ready phrases. After all, isn't that why we voted for him in the first place?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Krauthammer, Fox, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Sean Hannity, The Daily Show, Video, Yemen

Stephen Colbert Presents The Crapification of the American Pant-Scape

In the days following the attempted underwear bombing of a US-bound airliner by a Nigerian terrorist, many questions have been asked. Which races, faiths, genders and blood types should we unconditionally strip search? Do we have to limit it to people getting on airplanes? Is war with Yemen inevitable? What about Nigeria? What about Finland? Have you seen the way Chile has been looking at us? But the only question that really matters is, should we be scared? On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen provided the answer.

The Crapification of The American Pant-Scape continues below.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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Tags: Stephen Colbert, Terrorism, The Colbert Report, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, Video, Yemen

Jon Stewart on the Underwear Bomber

It's been said that big news often uncannily happens when The Daily Show is off the air. For example, the Hindenburg conspicuously crashed sixty years before the show even premiered. Well, as you know, this recent holiday hiatus was no different; The Daily Show went on vacation, and a dude tried to blow up a plane with a chode-bomb. So last night, the show returned (in HD!) and Jon Stewart made up for lost time, taking on the story from all angles.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: CIA, Dan Burton, Homeland Security, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Pete Hoekstra, Peter King, Richard Reid, Terrorism, The Daily Show, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, Video, Yemen