Every year, starting about five minutes ago, we at Indecision choose a handful of lucky nominees for a handful of categories to be in the running for the very prestigious Biggest Douchebag Awards.
This year, we are lucky to find ourselves being sponsored by Denis Leary's brand new, soon-to-drop Comedy Central special Douchebags & Donuts, which coincidentally has the word "douchebags" in its title. Synchronicity!
Here are the nominees. You choose the winners!
The Biggest Douchebag in the Republican Party
More nominees after the jump.
Denis Leary's Douchebags & Donuts premiers on Comedy Central Sunday, January 16 at 10pm / 9c.
Tags: Ben Nelson, Bill Maher, Eric Cantor, Glenn Beck, Harry Reid, Hugo Chavez, Iran, Italy, James Carville, Joe Barton, John Edwards, John McCain, Juan Williams, Karl Rove, Keith Olbermann, Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Michael Moore, Michele Bachmann, Michelle Malkin, North Korea, Pat Robertson, Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Venezuela, Zimbabwe
Imagine a country where everybody is a trillionaire. That's the kind of change South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford thinks we can believe will result from Barack Obama's stimulus plan.
The United States faces a Zimbabwe-style economic collapse if it keeps "spending a bunch of money we don't have," South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said Wednesday…
"What you're doing is buying into the notion that if we just print some more money that we don't have and send it to different states, we'll create jobs," he said. "If that's the case, why isn't Zimbabwe a rich place?"
What Governor Sanford doesn't understand is, if you print money, you have that money. That's simple biology. Like, if I make a sandwich, I have a sandwich. Or if I make 1000 paper cranes, I still have leukemia. Or if I make lots and lots of money, I can make a money sandwiches for all of the kids in America dying of leukemia.
Our kids deserve better. Call Mark Sanford and tell him to stop denying America's 12-year-old cancer patients the sweet, umami taste of money.
Tags: Barack Obama, Economy, Mark Sanford, Zimbabwe
Pop Quiz: What's the single biggest travesty to Democracy that the world has witnessed so far this century?
If you said Robert Mugabe's recent sham election in Zimbabwe, you were close. But this one is slightly worse…
Desperate to get attention for her cause to seat Florida and Michigan delegates, Hillary Clinton compared the plight of Zimbabweans in their recent fraudulent election to the uncounted votes of Michigan and Florida voters saying it is wrong when "people go through the motions of an election only to have them discarded and disregarded."
"We're seeing that right now in Zimbabwe," Clinton explained. "Tragically, an election was held, the president lost, they refused to abide by the will of the people," Clinton told the crowd of senior citizens at a retirement community in south Florida.
Hillary Clinton makes an excellent point. Not seating the delegates from two states that blatantly disobeyed Democratic Party rules in full knowledge that they would have their delegates would be stripped of them in the process of deciding a presidential candidate is at least as bad as holding pretend national elections and then just continuing to run your country as a brutal and failing dictatorship. At least!
I mean, it's PoliSci 101.
In just one day, Clinton has used a variety of arguments to convince her party to seat Florida and Michigan delegates, going as far as comparing the struggles of the voters in Florida and Michigan to those of abolitionists, suffragists, to the plight of Zimbabweans.
You know, you really can't overstate a thing like this. Clinton's really too low-key to mention these other important struggles, but I think it's also comparable to the American Revolution, finding a cure for AIDS, liberating Europe from Nazi control, and Jesus Christ descending into Hell after being tortured and crucified to rid humanity of its sins.
Almost! I don't want to draw too strong a comparison between Clinton and Christ. Because, after all, Christ was a man, and he didn't have to deal with the kind of sexism that Clinton has.
But, really, thank Clinton we have Clinton fighting for every voter's rights. Because…
"…we can never take for granted our precious right to vote. It is the single most important, privilege and right any of us have, because in that ballot box we are all equal. You're equal to a billionaire. You’re equal to the president, every single one of us."
But you're not equal to a superdelegate. They still have the right to "[refuse] to abide by the will of the people" if the will of the people is to choose a nominee who is unelectable.
Tags: Barack Obama, Florida, Hillary Clinton, Michigan, Zimbabwe