* Soda lovers take their victory to the streets.

* It takes a lot of power to get a roller coaster going.

* If all money looked like this, people probably would save more.

* Political dramas are getting too much like real life.

* An alternate reality where Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were Communists.

* Let's have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your pastoral staff.

* Animals yelling like humans? *Yawn* We've got politicians who yell like animals.

* The Fremont City Council meeting will now come to disorder. [NSFW]

You know you're watching a commercial for a Republican candidate in MA if the word "Republican" doesn't appear in the commercial.

— STEVE HUFF (@SteveHuff) March 13, 2013

But did you know he spoke German?

Kerry: [in German] Very good, thank you. All is well. Your shoes are fantastic, yes? [...] No, no, I can only speak a little German. But I would say, it is wonderful to be back herein Berlin. Thank you. And now I will speak in English because it's easier. [end of German]

And Italian?

Kerry thanked Prime Minister Mario Monti in Italian for his "spirit of friendship."

And Norwegian!?

[Kerry] won praise from his Norwegian counterpart Espen Barth Eide, who said after talks at the State Department that Kerry "can even speak quite impressively Norwegian phrases."

Eide added, "Secretary Kerry made a very good poi– Zzzzzzzzzzzz…"

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

* The Bugle says "adios" to George W. Bush's muse.

* Notes from the GOP naming committee meeting.

* What Americans think about the Pope being Jewish.

* Homeland as a role-playing game.

* Someone may be trying to tell Gov. Rick Scott something.

* What is the Cyrus cylinder and why is it important to America?

* This is what it sounds like when Joe Biden tells John Boehner a joke.

Paul Ryan's new budget unveiled the same day as the papal conclave. Looks like House Republicans and the Vatican will both be blowing smoke.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) March 12, 2013

With all the challenges facing the next pope, the last things he needs to do is worry about selecting his regnal name. That's why we've done the work for him (click to enlarge); selecting the best papal names of all time through the highly scientific process of saying all 80 previously-used titles aloud until somebody started giggling, "Ha ha, you said Pope RomANUS!"

Personally, I'm hoping for a Pope Sixtus VI.

Photo by Carsten Koall/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Paul Ryan's budget is just 47 pictures of him doing push-ups that he handed in "by mistake."

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) March 12, 2013

Per Palin, "This will be a fun, festive, thought-provoking book, which will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas."

HarperCollins announced the book will criticize the "over-commercialism" of Christmas and also that it will be available in November, just in time for the Christmas shopping season.

Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

* Key & Peele take civil disobedience to a new level.

* It's not just UK politics that's going down the loo.

* National Geographic has a little too much fun "Killing Lincoln."

* If only Solyndra had used their solar power for blowing things up.

* Kyle Grooms gets NSFW sexy with his President Obama impression.

* Need to get out of your country? Here are the coolest ways, from Cracked.

* Iran's disapproval of Ahmadinejad hugging Chavez's mother almost makes him likable.

UPDATE: You can still buy a huge soda in New York CIty. RELATED: You can still totally pee on the subway.

— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) March 11, 2013