"This pancake is actually much more valuable than the stastistical import of your vote, but... what the hey."

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Not the first time he couldn't decide on one of three things.

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"Hahaha, they completely misspelled 'Mitt.'"

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What would Jesus cook and distribute to voters in an effort to promote a socially intolerant and radically conservative agenda?

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Oh Mr. President, what would Michelle say?

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To this day, Romney believes all non-millionaire eating establishments have wooden pigs.

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"Stand back, honey. That face is the only asset my campaign has left."

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Baked potato chips? No wonder you lost the South.

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Can somebody get him a napkin? Or a real shot at the nomination? Fine, a napkin then?

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Don't let the frail, dazed look fool you; he won't rest until every American owns an anti-aircraft rifle and has at least given heroin a try.

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"I can't shake the feeling that they're somehow blasphemous, but all right."

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"You're all fired."

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