After announcing his candidacy, Newt would spend hours in an empty room pretending to call on White House reporters.

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The book whose promotion seemed, for a time, the only reason Newt was running at all.

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Seriously. At one point or another, everybody urged him to throw in the towel.

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But he soldiered on, earning a reputation as a formidable debater. Mainly because he did this with his arms a lot.

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See?

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Gingrich's troubled private life often came back to haunt him. Still, it's not like he had this many wives.

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Newt was often emotional on the campaign trail. Mostly when thinking of how many Americans still have health insurance.

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Although they would later have their differences, Gingrich and Romney both enjoyed when Rick Perry was allowed to speak.

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Gingrich would often take time to show children the value of menial labor.

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Winning South Carolina was an important highlight of Newt's campaign. Wait, no. The highlight.

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This was like fish in a barrel for Newt. What's a dog going to do, vote Romney?

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Occasionally Gingrich would share the stage with other loud, obsolete, visually displeasing and overly aggressive antiques.

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In the end, it just isn't the key to the White House. But hey. It's still bigger than ordinary keys.

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Newt Gingrich wanted to build a colony here.

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