On the Saturday before the inauguration, head to the Lincoln Memorial at 3:00 p.m. There you'll learn about his second inaugural address and get a stirring reminder that politicians used to have beards.

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After that, stroll over to the Old Post Office Tower for a walking tour of America's most famous protest marches. Skip this if you're still upset about the 1913 Suffragette Procession.

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In the midst of all the fun, don't forget that January 19 is also the National Day of Service, when even guys like this are asked to serve their country.

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Saturday will also include a 4:00 p.m. presentation on FDR's inaugural addresses. Special attention will be paid to their first draft titles, "The Depression is Bad" and "URGH! World War II."

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Make sure to download the new inauguration smartphone app! It has all sorts of important information, from bathroom locations to an interactive map of the Romney home that lets users track Mitt's weeping in real time.

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There's got to be pizza being served somewhere. Keep your eyes peeled.

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On Sunday, President Obama will be sworn in at a private White House ceremony. You're not invited.

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See if you can spot him in the crowd. He'll be the one dressed as Waldo.

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Come Monday morning, all eyes will be on this man. Will his tie be red or blue? We're betting red, but that's what makes this so exciting.

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It's important to get a good spot for Monday afternoon's inaugural parade, which will be attended by people who look like this and who, deep down, just want to be told knock-knock jokes.

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