Nine eleven nine eleven, nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven! Nine eleven nine eleven nine?

Eleven…

Former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani has decided not to run for governor of New York next year after months of mulling a candidacy, according to people who have been told of the decision.

Nine eleven nine eleven?

It was not clear what prompted the decision, but the prospect of potentially facing Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, who is quietly planning his own run for governor on the Democratic ticket, may not have appealed to Mr. Giuliani, who suffered a bruising defeat in the 2008 Republican presidential primary. While many political analysts believe Mr. Giuliani would have comfortably beaten Gov. David A. Paterson, he would likely have faced an uphill battle against Mr. Cuomo, one of the most popular politicians in the state.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine: eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine; eleven nine.

Eleven nine eleven.

Update: Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven?!?!

Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani has decided not to run for governor next year – but will run for U.S. Senate instead, sources told the Daily News.

If elected, the source said, he could use that as a stepping stone to run for President in 2012 — rather than run for re-election to the Senate.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven.

Charlie Sheen's make-pretend conversation with President Obama concerning his 9/11 conspiracy theories, acted out by puppets. That has be the funniest thing ever, right?

Actually, no, it doesn't have to be…

Why so serious, puppets? Hasn't anybody ever told you that you're puppets?

Part 2 is over here (if you were even capable of making it to the end of Part 1)

(via Videogum)

We've learned what Rudy Giuliani and the other Rudy Giuliani think about the upcoming trial of Khalid Shaikh Mohamed, but Rudy Giuliani isn't the mayor of New York any more. Mike Bloomberg is the mayor of New York, now and possibly forever, and he's said it's "fitting" for the 9/11 mastermind to face trial in the city (instead of in, say, a steel bunker on Mars).

So last night Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) had a couple questions for Hizzoner, including this one: "Mayor, how are you going to feel when it's your daughter that's kidnapped at school by a terrorist?"

Gotta admit, I don't understand where Shadegg's going with this.

I mean, if anybody can afford to pay a couple kidnap ransoms, it's Mike Bloomberg.

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart covered the media brouhaha surrounding the upcoming trial of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, revealing Nancy Grace as the cause of boner cancer and counteracting the arguments of Rudy Giuliani with those of none other than Rudy Giuliani from 2006. Both Giulianis made such strong points, I think we need a third opinion. Maybe from 1997 cross-dressing Giuliani or 1999 paying-for-his-mistresses-security-detail-with-misappropriated-city-funds Giuliani.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Many people have forgotten this, but once upon a time, on 9/11, hijackers flew airplanes into several buildings plus a field, killing thousands of innocent people. That was a really, really, really, really, really, really terrible day.

Just like today, according to the Twitter account of Colorado state Senator David Schultheis…

Schultheis wrote, "Don't for a second think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. plane right into the ground at full speed. Let's roll." [...]

"Let's roll" were reportedly the final words of passenger Todd Beamer before his hijacked plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field during the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Passengers aboard the flight tried to regain control of the plane and crashed before reaching the hijacker's intended target.

Now, you'd think Sen. Schultheis's apology muscle would be getting a serious workout today. You would be wrong…

Schultheis, who sent the tweet Tuesday, said he was angry about President's fiscal policies, but didn't mean to compare him to the Sept. 11 hijackers. [...]

"'Let's roll.' It's a comment people use all the time. 'Let's get going. Let's move on. Let's make major changes,'" Schultheis said. "I can see it now. But, you're busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don't analyze every single word."

Well, sure. That's true enough. Thanks for pointing that out, Schultheis, you fucking Bin Laden of Twitter.

(What? What'd I say? Guys, look, the to-do list is out of control.)

Hey, everybody's got stupid people whom they'd rather would just shut up on their side. No party ideology has a monopoly on idiocy.

However, if you're a Republican, then the odds are pretty good that the stupid person is you…

Forty-two percent of Republicans say President Obama was born outside the United States, while only 37 percent say he was born here.

Twenty-five percent of Democrats say President George W. Bush let 9/11 happen, while 63 percent say he didn't.

At a certain point, you have to wonder if ignorance is a lifestyle choice.