Eleven…

Former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani has decided not to run for governor of New York next year after months of mulling a candidacy, according to people who have been told of the decision.

Nine eleven nine eleven?

It was not clear what prompted the decision, but the prospect of potentially facing Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, who is quietly planning his own run for governor on the Democratic ticket, may not have appealed to Mr. Giuliani, who suffered a bruising defeat in the 2008 Republican presidential primary. While many political analysts believe Mr. Giuliani would have comfortably beaten Gov. David A. Paterson, he would likely have faced an uphill battle against Mr. Cuomo, one of the most popular politicians in the state.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine: eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine; eleven nine.

Eleven nine eleven.

Update: Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven?!?!

Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani has decided not to run for governor next year – but will run for U.S. Senate instead, sources told the Daily News.

If elected, the source said, he could use that as a stepping stone to run for President in 2012 — rather than run for re-election to the Senate.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven.

Actually, no, it doesn't have to be…

Why so serious, puppets? Hasn't anybody ever told you that you're puppets?

Part 2 is over here (if you were even capable of making it to the end of Part 1)

(via Videogum)

So last night Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) had a couple questions for Hizzoner, including this one: "Mayor, how are you going to feel when it's your daughter that's kidnapped at school by a terrorist?"

Gotta admit, I don't understand where Shadegg's going with this.

I mean, if anybody can afford to pay a couple kidnap ransoms, it's Mike Bloomberg.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Just like today, according to the Twitter account of Colorado state Senator David Schultheis…

Schultheis wrote, "Don't for a second think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. plane right into the ground at full speed. Let's roll." [...]

"Let's roll" were reportedly the final words of passenger Todd Beamer before his hijacked plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field during the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Passengers aboard the flight tried to regain control of the plane and crashed before reaching the hijacker's intended target.

Now, you'd think Sen. Schultheis's apology muscle would be getting a serious workout today. You would be wrong…

Schultheis, who sent the tweet Tuesday, said he was angry about President's fiscal policies, but didn't mean to compare him to the Sept. 11 hijackers. [...]

"'Let's roll.' It's a comment people use all the time. 'Let's get going. Let's move on. Let's make major changes,'" Schultheis said. "I can see it now. But, you're busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don't analyze every single word."

Well, sure. That's true enough. Thanks for pointing that out, Schultheis, you fucking Bin Laden of Twitter.

(What? What'd I say? Guys, look, the to-do list is out of control.)

However, if you're a Republican, then the odds are pretty good that the stupid person is you…

Forty-two percent of Republicans say President Obama was born outside the United States, while only 37 percent say he was born here.

Twenty-five percent of Democrats say President George W. Bush let 9/11 happen, while 63 percent say he didn't.

At a certain point, you have to wonder if ignorance is a lifestyle choice.

* If you don't rebuild, the Jedis win. They hate our way of life.

* This article here says that people's faith in the accuracy in news reporting has hit its lowest point in two decades. But, you know, I don't fucking believe that shit.

* Sen, Robert Byrd just wants to protect young gay men from getting molested by Julius Ceasar. Or something.

* Majority of doctors found to be socialist scum.

* Double-Yoo Tee Eff, ACORN? If you're going to be corrupt, do you have to be moronic about it, too?

In a tape released Sunday by al-Qaida's media wing [Ed note: al-Qaida's media wing??], terrorist leader Osama bin Laden said President Barack Obama is "powerless" to stop the war in Afghanistan.

Bin Laden's address to the American people comes two days after the eighth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. He typically addresses the United States in a message around the Sept. 11 anniversary.

It's kind of like our anniversary. And here we were thinking he'd forgot.

When Obama became president and retained many of the Bush administration's military leaders, such as Defense Secretary Robert Gates, "reasonable people knew that Obama is a powerless man who will not be able to end the war as he promised," bin Laden said.

"If you end the war, so to it," bin Laden said. "But if it is otherwise, all we will do is continue the war of attrition against you on all possible axes."

Ugh! This guy. I'm sorry; I don't mean to be impolite, but I just have to say it: I really do not care for this Osama bin Laden fellow. Not at all.

I mean, first there's the whole thing with him killing several thousand innocent Americans, which right there makes him pretty much a total jerk. And there's the protracted war in the Middle East, which, I know, was really more the doing of the Bush administration than al-Qaida, but still, bin Laden's being a real d-bag about it.

And now there's this thing with the needling and the yelling names at us from some hiding place in a Pakistani cave or wherever. Not for nothing, but that is just classic douchebag behavior.

Yeah, I don't like him at all. He's pretty much even worse than Taylor Max.

People seemed to respond well when I posted this last year, so I thought I'd do it again. It's the September 20, 2001 episode of The Daily Show in it's entirety. I've never been able to put any meaningful words together about 9/11 and this really isn't the venue for that anyway, so I'll just say I hope you get something out of watching this, be it comfort, enjoyment or simply a welcome distraction.

Continue watching.

That's right! It's the day before Glenn Beck's 9/12 celebration…

The 9-12 Project is designed to bring us all back to the place we were on September 12, 2001.

Fearful, confused and existentially adrift?

The day after America was attacked we were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States or political parties. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the values and principles of the greatest nation ever created.

Oh, well, that doesn't sound so terrible. I mean, who, really, in their right mind could be opposed to that? Could it be that I've had Glenn Beck wrong all this time?

Oh, wait. That's right.  Nevermind.