Fancy Nancy Pelosi has her heart set on a Saturday vote for this health care thing, because there is nothing in the Constitution to stop her from working on a weekend, but people on both sides of the aisle are digging in their heels, shaking their heads, throwing things, etc., so the vote may not happen until Sunday if it happens at all.

The reason should be obvious…

The question of abortion coverage in the health care bill has bedeviled top Democrats for weeks. Under its current language, the measure would allow individuals to purchase policies through a new insurance exchange that would cover abortion procedures.

Getting "abortion" mixed up with "valid legal medical care" is, of course, contrary to everything America stands for. Doesn't anyone have a better idea, one that won't just cater to pro-choice types?

Democratic leaders may turn to compromise language drafted by Rep. Brad Ellsworth, an Indiana Democrat opposed to abortion rights. Ellsworth has proposed using private contractors to pay providers of abortion services – an idea that has come under fire from both supporters and opponents of abortion rights.

Nice work, Rep. Ellsworth! I don't have a dictionary handy, but I'm pretty sure that's the textbook definition of a compromise.

Twenty-four hours ago I wrote this silly list of the different public option versions we've seen floating around, and silly me, I missed one. Meet what a CNN headline writer is calling the "tempered" public option…

This version would allow doctors to negotiate reimbursement rates with the federal government, the aides said Wednesday.

The proposal would be a blow to Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who has argued for a more "robust" public option, one that ties reimbursement rates for providers and hospitals to Medicare rates plus a 5 percent increase.

But the votes aren't there for a robust public option, so the "more moderate" "tempered" "other" public option it is. None of those descriptors are catchy at all! How about we call it the "alternative public option"? That might appeal to disenfranchised youth. "Lite public option," on account of that obesity problem? Or, duh: "doctored public option."

By the way, in case you are confused, here is exactly why the public option has been de-testicled:

Democratic House aides said party leaders had yet to resolve long-standing disputes over provisions to prevent federal funds from being used to subsidize abortions and to block illegal immigrants from receiving benefits.

So good luck with your cancer or whatever as the costs of the [adjective here] public option get tied to the medical inflation rates that made a public option necessary in the first place. The important thing is that no money's going to those gals who receive the legal medical service of pregnancy termination. And no Mexicans, either.

To the best of my knowledge, this video of anti-abortion activist Lila Rose calling for abortions to be performed "in the public square" — which, I think, is now located inside your local Wal-Mart — is not a parody.

Though, if it were, it would be a brilliant one…

Yeah, I'll bet abortions are totally gross. Right now, I believe in a woman's right to make really big life decisions for herself, but I bet if I saw all that blood, I'd change my mind about all that.

It's just like when I saw that open heart surgery being performed and then spent the next six years protesting cardiologists.

Andrew Sullivan just posted the above image, which is evidently being sent around by TownHall.com. Now, obviously, most of this isn't really news. Grandmas, babies, puppies, pandas, they're all going down once ObamaCare goes into effect. Also, it will make ice cream taste like boogers and spoil the end of Lost, but none of that is a surprise. The thing that does shock me about this though is the size of that baby compared to the President:

ObamaCare killing babies is one thing, but giant babies? I have to say, I'm sort of on the fence about that one. Sure it seems cruel on paper, but when you're fending off a swarm of 15-foot man-gumming babies, you'll wish you'd supported Obama's genocidal socialized eugenics gestapo.

I'll bet the thing that made the babies giant is also what made President Obama's skin glow orange.

Ugh, Richard Nixon, really? Really? Did you really have to go so far out of your way to be so much like everybody's image of you?

The New York Times' Charlie Savage reports on one recorded conversation the day that the Supreme Court's ruling in Roe v. Wade was handed down. Nixon didn't make a public statement, but privately, he worried that the greater legality of abortion would lead to "permissiveness," saying that abortion "breaks the family."

However, Nixon said, "There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white… Or a rape."

Obviously, an abortion would be necessary if it was a half-white/half-black freak of nature. I mean, I don't think anybody would argue with that? But a rape baby? Do we know what university the rapist attended? Do we know how he votes? These things matter.

On another tape, in a conversation with the Rev. Billy Graham, Nixon discussed complaints by some U.S. Jews about certain efforts to promote evangelical Christianity. "What I really think is deep down in this country, there is a lot of anti-Semitism, and all this is going to do is stir it up,” Nixon said, according to Savage. Later in the conversation, he said, “It may be they have a death wish. You know that’s been the problem with our Jewish friends for centuries."

Oh, those Jews and their death wishes. Always with the jumping into ovens and the smashing their heads into the butts of Russian soldiers' rifles. Oy vey!

If last night's Daily Show left you wanting more Mike Huckabee, you should check out some old pictures of that dude. Talk about more Mike Huckabee. But you should also watch the extended and unedited version of Jon Stewart's interview with the former Arkansas Governor.

More after the jump.

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