Colmes: So you're praying for the death of the president of the United States?

Drake: Yes… I think it's appropriate to pray for the will of God. I'm not saying anything, what I'm doing is repeating what God is saying…

Wow! God is apparently saying that He wants Barack Obama to die. I wonder what Obama did to Him specifically. I'll bet they're fighting over Joe Biden's soul. Knowing that guy, he probably sold it to both of them while drunk on Genny Cream Ale. You know what I'm saying? (I'm saying Joe Biden is like my Uncle Albert.)

But, hey, I guess this also means that God isn't capable of just killing Barack Obama on His own and has to go around complaining about him to friends like Wiley Drake. Maybe what He needs people's prayers because they help charge His all-powerful battery pack that He uses for smiting people.

It's amazing how much I learn from religious people.

^{* With Alan Keyes, obviously.}

I begrudgingly think that's kind of funny, even though I'm 100 percent certain that Fox really kicked the idea for a show just like that around for at least a few days.

Thing is, I actually would like to watch that retrospective of the life of Noam Chomsky.

Update: That clip is actually from April Fools Day — I believe from the opening segment of Hannity's show — so that means I'm more than a month and a half slow on getting that up.

Which, when you think about it, is pretty good for me.

Daryl Hall sings it best with "I hadn't noticed he was there, but he's gone." How are you going to feel about his absence?

Even more drastically changed is the role of White House Senior Advisor, which Karl Rove transformed from a middling policy job to one of great importance — ranking somewhat above U.S. President, but slightly below CEO of ExxonMobil.

Now with Rove banished to Fox News, (where he becomes the most liberal employee following the departure of Alan Colmes), the White House Advisor job transfers to David Axelrod, Barack Obama's longtime strategist.

Fun facts about Axelrod…

* He kind of hates Karl Rove.

* He is Jewish. This makes him an unlikely co-conspirator in Obama's planned destruction of Israel, which was reported by noted foreign policy analyst Joe the Plumber.

* He probably had a lot to do with Hillary Clinton's Secretary of State nomination, since she practically cured cancer as a favor to his wife.

* Although he sports the classic "advisor's mustache," he's still miles behind the dean of his profession, Rasputin.

Colmes is leaving the show at the end of the year…

"I approached Bill Shine (FNC's Senior Vice President of Programming) earlier this year about wanting to move on after 12 years to develop new and challenging ways to contribute to the growth of the network," Colmes said in a statement. "Although it's bittersweet to leave one of the longest marriages on cable news, I'm proud that both Sean (Hannity) and I remained unharmed after sitting side by side, night after night for so many years."

Sean Hannity said Colmes was "a remarkable co-host," "great friend," and "skillful debate partner."

No word yet on who — if anyone — will be taking Alan Colmes' place beside Sean Hannity.

I'd like to take this opportunity to let the executives at Fox News that I've got an old coat hanger I'm selling real cheap. Email me!

We all know how much Sean Hannity abhors authors speaking out politically for or against a specific candidate.

It's nice to see Robert Kuttner make such a big showing for bald, nerdy guys everywhere.

And holy shit does Alan Colmes deliver the smackdown!

Here's my personal favorite part, from the very end…

Hannity: Let's see how you act after getting beaten after five and a half years!

I think we just did.

a) Began their professional relationship in October of 1996.

b) Their relationship is one of commensalism, in which one benefits and the other is not significantly harmed or helped.

c) The smaller attaches itself to its host through use of a modified oval sucker-like organ with slat-like structures that open and close to create suction and take a firm hold of larger's skin, and then proceeds to feed from food dropped from the larger's mouth.

d) While the larger is a strong conservative, the smaller — though often considered to be liberal — is really more of a moderate. And a total pussy.

e) The smaller creature is sometimes used by fishermen as a means to catch sea turtles.

f) Due to its small size, the larger of the two is not considered to be a genuine threat to humans.

g) If the smaller is unavailable for whatever reason, it is sometimes replaced by Harold Ford Jr.

h) Bottom feeders.

Answers after the jump.

a – H&C; b – Both; c – LS&R; d – H&C; e – LS&R; f – LS&R; g – H&C; h – Both

Read
Bull Shark or Maureen Dowd?
Gray Reef Shark or Anderson Cooper?