We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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In light of Tuesday's elections, one thing is abundantly clear: If you want your boring local election to gain unwarranted national weight and prominence, hold it in an off year. Better yet, don't even hold it in November. Move your deputy county comptroller election to April 2011, and watch it become a bellwether referendum on the future of all carbon-based species.
After the jump, coverage of the election results continues with The Daily Show.
It's funny, me and my friends were just talking the other day about how somebody needed to make a video just like that. I hope somebody didn't overhear us talking and steal our idea.
On second thought, I suppose this was just bound to happen. It's kind of an obvious idea.
So, as absolutely none of the media are reporting ad nauseum today, exactly one year ago today a little more than half the fraction of American voters who felt like waiting in line at polling stations decided that they would rather hand the keys to the country over to the over-enthusiastic, inexperienced black guy than to the elderly man with the crazy-eyed lady running mate.
Ah, Democracy.
I don't know about you, but I'd never want to live through the grueling two-year election cycle that led to Obama's historic victory. Unless, maybe, it was condensed down to six and a half minutes. That, I think I could deal with…
"As evidenced by his epic run on Swamp Thing #21–64, [Alan] Moore's deft hand with both sociopolitical commentary and metaphysical violence makes him an ideal choice to chronicle my time in office," Obama said of the author of Watchmen and From Hell, whom he reportedly chose over others on a short list of potential biographers that included Warren Ellis, Grant Morrison, and Bob Woodward.
"I look forward to seeing the kinds of subplots he will surely weave throughout the main narrative of my presidency, and how he'll tie them all back together at the end in a way that just elevates the thing to a whole other level. God, that guy is the master."
As you've now heard, in last night's two high-profile gubernatorial elections, the GOP candidates emerged victoriously in what was a clear referendum against President Obama. Meanwhile, in the closely-watched Congressional race in New York's 23rd District, voters elected a Democrat for the first time in over a century in what was a clear referendum against President Obama. Where did I acquire such keen political insight? Cable news, of course.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Last night, blogger and beard aficionado Andrew Sullivan made his fourth appearance on The Colbert Report to make the case that President Obama has accomplished quite a lot in his first year in office. I guess he makes some valid points, but for all we know, he's also part of the Communist Nazi Jihadist conspiracy. I heard he doesn't even have a legal American birth certificate.