This just in: David Cross did a line of cocaine off of Barack Obama's penis at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Or something.

I don't know. I stopped reading after I'd kinda gotten the gist.

So, check out this upcoming film, which we all know the ending of but will probably end up being interesting none-the-less because it's from HBO films, so you know it's gonna contain at least a little full-frontal nudity…

The weird thing is, the filmmakers started shooting back when even godless liberal d-bag idiots like me (but more like Matt Tobey) thought him becoming president was laughably impossible…

[Amy] Rice conceived the idea of making a documentary about Obama long before the Illinois Senator announced his decision to run for president. Inspired by his oratorical skills and star appeal at the 2004 Democratic Convention, she set out to film his political career in 2006. Rice approached documentary producer [Alicia] Sams, who joined to co-direct and actor Edward Norton's production company, Class 5, agreed to produce the project. After Norton approached Obama's team with the idea, the senator agreed to grant the filmmakers what turned out to be unprecedented and exclusive access.

"Initially, it wasn't even about a presidential campaign; the idea was simply to examine the political experience of a promising young politician of our generation," says Norton, a two-time Oscar nominee.

You know the old Latin saying, Cui bono?, right? I'm not sure but I think that means, "Are you leaving, Bono?" Well, now we know who had the most to gain from asking Bono if he was leaving.

Think about it.

You know that dream that you had every other night between July and November last year?

Well, somebody stole it out of your head and is now selling posters of it…

This guy Dan Lacey has somehow gotten a hold of a bunch of your dreams, which he's keeping hold of over on his blog. So, if you want them back, that's where to go.

But, you know, I've seen them. And I don't think you want them back.

See also: Wanna See Sarah Palin Naked?

After President Obama's controversial handshake with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez this week, the gang at Fox News whipped themselves into a sexually-dysfunctional froth fantasizing about whether the two world leaders were putting the "head" in "heads of state" back at the hotel.

Tempted as you may be, I cannot stress enough how unwise it is to take this as an opportunity to imagine what happens behind closed doors at Fox News. Trust me when I say that is a bottomless Cremaster-esque pit of horror you can never climb out of.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Ooooohhhh Nooooooooooozzz!!!!

Not only is our new president a foreigner and a socialist and a terrorist, but he's also a gay!!!

However, it's still unclear to me whether Obama was having the scandalous homo-ffair with John McCain or Paul Newman. Or was it maybe the rampaging chimp?

(via Perez Hilton)

Obama's administration hired the top-grossing production company to make an educational video about the Stimulus Package.

And that top-grossing production company made that video as it best knew how…

Lucid Films Presents – The Stimulus Package