David Cross, Barack Obama, Cocaine, Blah Blah Blah

This just in: David Cross did a line of cocaine off of Barack Obama's penis at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
Or something.
I don't know. I stopped reading after I'd kinda gotten the gist.
Read Mary's LiveBlog of Sarah Palin on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Let us know who you think deserves the gold in the Olympics of Ovaries!
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October 23 at 1:21PM
David Cross, Barack Obama, Cocaine, Blah Blah Blah
Or something. I don't know. I stopped reading after I'd kinda gotten the gist.
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4 Comments
October 20 at 5:19PM
HBO Documentary on Barack Obama Will Never Beat History Channel Documentary About That Old White GuySo, check out this upcoming film, which we all know the ending of but will probably end up being interesting none-the-less because it's from HBO films, so you know it's gonna contain at least a little full-frontal nudity… The weird thing is, the filmmakers started shooting back when even godless liberal d-bag idiots like me (but more like Matt Tobey) thought him becoming president was laughably impossible…
You know the old Latin saying, Cui bono?, right? I'm not sure but I think that means, "Are you leaving, Bono?" Well, now we know who had the most to gain from asking Bono if he was leaving. Think about it.
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July 27 at 3:15PM
Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and a Unicorn: All NakedYou know that dream that you had every other night between July and November last year? Well, somebody stole it out of your head and is now selling posters of it… This guy Dan Lacey has somehow gotten a hold of a bunch of your dreams, which he's keeping hold of over on his blog. So, if you want them back, that's where to go. But, you know, I've seen them. And I don't think you want them back. See also: Wanna See Sarah Palin Naked?
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April 22 at 9:52AM
Fox News Thinks Obama and Chavez Touched WienersAfter President Obama's controversial handshake with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez this week, the gang at Fox News whipped themselves into a sexually-dysfunctional froth fantasizing about whether the two world leaders were putting the "head" in "heads of state" back at the hotel.
Tempted as you may be, I cannot stress enough how unwise it is to take this as an opportunity to imagine what happens behind closed doors at Fox News. Trust me when I say that is a bottomless Cremaster-esque pit of horror you can never climb out of. The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
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February 27 at 11:31AM
Barack Obama's Penis Is a Gay PenisOoooohhhh Nooooooooooozzz!!!! Not only is our new president a foreigner and a socialist and a terrorist, but he's also a gay!!! However, it's still unclear to me whether Obama was having the scandalous homo-ffair with John McCain or Paul Newman. Or was it maybe the rampaging chimp?
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February 11 at 3:12PM
The President Has a Big Stimulus PackageObama's administration hired the top-grossing production company to make an educational video about the Stimulus Package. And that top-grossing production company made that video as it best knew how…
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