The Democrats have been taking a lot of shit lately. Some say, despite having the White House and large majorities in both houses of Congress, the party has done little more this year than drop the ball on health care reform. But that's not fair. They're dropping the ball on so many other things too. Take the environment. Please!

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Exiled Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina proved her political mettle last year when she served as a "top economic advisor" to John McCain, a job that's kind of like being a pastry chef for a diabetic, admittedly. But Fiorina made some news herself on the campaign trail: there was the time she said Sarah Palin wasn't qualified to run a company, and then the time she accidentally made John McCain take a question about flaccid penises.

These incidents were widely seen as gaffes, or "Bidens," but I'm starting to wonder if Carly Fiorina doesn't have some sort of secret blueprint for politics that only she can understand. For example, see the screenshot above? That is Carly Fiorina's new website, because — having done so well helping John McCain win the White House — our gal C.Fi is possibly maybe challenging Democrat Barbara Boxer for her California Senate seat.

Oh, it gets better…

"It's Day and Night," the bright red Web site reads. "It's Dogs and Cats. It's Good and Bad. It's Carly vs. Boxer."

"It's the most singularly awful political website I have ever seen, and I am including all the old, basic HTML websites that were the rage 10 years ago," conservative blogger John Hawkins of the site RightWingNews.com said in an e-mail to CNN.

Well yes, of course it's awful. Don't you see? As a businessperson, Carly Fiorina understands the importance of branding.

And this is the perfect representation of her brand: being incredibly bad at everything^TM.

Yesterday, the Senate voted 68 to 31 in favor of confirming Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. This of course makes her the first Latina on the bench, if you don't count Oliver Wendell Holmes. While many conservatives are none too pleased with the appointment, I understand Antonin Scalia is quite optimistic, hoping Sotomayor ushers in an era of churros at the Thursday SCOTUS potlucks.

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Stephen Colbert isn't the only political heavyweight who's been monitoring the waves of grassroots-ish opposition to health care reform that are sweeping-ish the country.

California Senator Barbara Boxer, seen here in a stunning periwinkle suit accessorized with a contrasting chunky multi-strand necklace and black peep-toe raffia wedges, has also been paying attention, and she's noticed a verrrrry suspicious detail about some of the people at these confrontational town hall meetings. (Aside from the shrieking about Nazis thing.)

As she explained on MSNBC's Hardball last night, something's sartorially amiss…

BOXER: [...] And by the way, I saw some of the clips of people storming these town hall meetings. The last time I saw well-dressed people doing this, was when Al Gore asked me to go down to Florida when they were recounting the ballots, and I was confronted with the same type of people.

They were there screaming and yelling, "Go back to California! Get out of here!" and all the rest of it, until I finally looked at them and I said, "You know what? Your hero Ronald Reagan is from California, you should show a little respect." And then they quieted down.

Barbara Boxer raises an important and on-trend point! Face it, America, real patriots don't have time for frivolous extras like "pants" and "shirts," let alone "ties" or "underwear."

If you're really committed to stopping the terrible threat of ObamaKillGrannyCare, you will get out there and do it the way God (Ronald Reagan) intended you to do it, that is, stark naked except for a loincloth emblazoned with Sean Hannity's face.

It's bad enough that Barack Obama thinks Sarah Palin is a pig and seeks to "destroy her" and American women in general. But it gets worse: Research shows he was beaten to the punch by 13 of his Congressional colleagues!

Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill, did a little digging into the Congressional Record and found 16 variations of the "lipstick on a pig" phrase have been uttered by 13 separate members of the 110th Congress. Behold the list of chauvinist, unpatriotic community organizers currently disgracing our government…

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Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

Home Sweet Home! Well, it's finally over. The voters have voted, the superdelegates have committed, and Terry McAuliffe has been put back in cold storage for Chelsea's presidential bid. And the results are now clear: Barack Obama goes on to five more months of choking down swing-state diner food, while Hillary Clinton returns home to the U.S. Senate.

Of course the Senate is a veritable retirement home for failed presidential candidates. You might say it's the spleen of the federal government. Knowing this, the Senate Pages will now reveal how our old bosses plan to greet Hillary upon her return:

*Joe Lieberman (I-CT) — Congratulate Clinton on her "two-way tie for first."

*Robert Byrd (D-WV) — Mistakenly assume Clinton has died and weep on the Senate floor.

*Harry Reid (D-NV) — Using powers as Majority Leader, appoint Clinton to chair the Senate Select Subcommittee on Menopause.

*Kay Bailey Hutchinson (R-TX), Barbara Boxer (D-CA), and Olympia Snowe (R-ME) — Rattail Clinton in the girls’ locker room and make her sing the French National Anthem.

*Claire McCaskill (D-MO ) — Stare straight ahead and keep walking.

*Jim Bunning (R-KY) — Confide in Hillary that he always thought Obama was limp-wristed and looked like one of Saddam Hussein's sons.

*Ron Wyden (D-OR) — Use Hillary's newly lowered self-esteem as his chance to ask her out.

*Mike Gravel (D-AK, retired) — Phone in a bomb threat to the Capitol.