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Bill O’Reilly

June 3 at 3:54PM

Can We Just Trade Juan Williams to Fox News for Shepard Smith and a D-Bag to Be Named Later?

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

While we're on the subject of horrible liberal people who should just go away, I guess now is as good a time as any to talk about this shit from left-wing rag doll Juan Williams

[W]henever Bill O'Reilly feels threatened he summons Juan Williams to appear on The Factor to apologize for BillO's actions. Last night Juan did his job well…

Williams: "There are people who are going to try and use this now to make others who have critical of a women having the right to choose, make that into a political tool to beat people up and to try and convince people that these are all extremists and the fact is that you're not extremist. There are a lot of people who by a matter of conscience are troubled by abortion, especially late term abortion and I know you O'Reilly, what you did is you said it bothered you personally and there's nothing wrong with that…

"But let me just say, they're going after you, Bill O'Reilly and I've never heard you say to block a clinic , I've never heard you say to create violence to intimidate women who are legally seeking an abortion. I've never heard you say go after the doctor's, berate them, certainly not kill them. Never. Never! Not true."

Wow! He really makes Alan Colmes look like a linebacker… holding a machete… in his prehensile penis.

Crooks and Liars has footage of O'Reilly not going after the doctor, not berating him. Never. Never!

June 3 at 1:37PM

You Probably Shouldn't Use Violence Against the Werewolf That's Going to Kill Us All

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Hey, listen people. Now, I don't want to disturb you, but right now — as you're reading these words — there's a werewolf just around the corner from your desk and a little down the hall.

Okay, now, calm down. Don't do anything hasty. Just understand that the person around the corner and down the hall from you may look nice and innocent enough, but he is, in fact, a horrible, supernatural killer who has taken countless scores of lives already and will take many, many, many more. Unless somebody does something about it. Which I am not saying that you should do. And especially not with a silver bullet (available for purchase here).

All I'm saying is that werewolves are evil, unholy foot soldiers of the Devil who want to tear the limbs from every member of your family — especially the young and vulnerable ones — and that it is every decent person's responsibility to rid the Earth of their presence through whatever means they find most suitable inside their heart of hearts. Just so long as it's anything violent, okay? Because that would be the wrong way to behave toward this soulless, inhuman monster.

Look, I don't want to use hyperbole, so I'll just say that gallons of caustic, liquefied malice pump through that werewolf's fetid veins every additional second that it is allowed to breathe. Try not to think about that.

And, also, try not to imagine the most wholesome and virginal young girl being torn from her bed and dragged out into the middle of the forest where the half-man/half-beast's murderous claws rip through her white cotton nightgown and its powerful jaws close around her fragile throat. Believe me, you don't wanna go down that road.

Anyway, you shouldn't be worrying about this kind of thing. So, take your mind off it. Why not read something distracting and non-werewolf related? Like this article about how Bill O'Reilly is suddenly attempting to distance himself, for some strange reason, from everything he said about George Tiller prior to his killing.

June 2 at 2:57PM

Bill O'Reilly Correctly Predicted He'd Be Called Out for Things He Did

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Bill O'Reilly's response to George Tiller's killing…

Jeeze, he's right! When you think about it, O'Reilly truly is the real victim in all this.

See also: Culture Warrior Bill O'Reilly Finally Making a Difference?

June 1 at 1:21PM

Culture Warrior Bill O'Reilly Finally Making a Difference?

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

So, if you have access to the Internet and/or television and/or a window, you've probably heard at least a billion different takes on the murder of Dr. George Tiller by the hard-right anti-abortionist Scott Roeder.

Most people — whenever anything horrible happens in the world — ask themselves the same existential question: To what extent was Bill O'Reilly responsible for this?

Usually, the answer is just something boring like, "Probably just a tiny little bit, I guess." But this time, the answer might actually be a little different…

O'Reilly will no doubt catch a lot of flack for this shooting, but before anybody starts throwing blame around, I just ask that people really take a hard look at the facts.

This Roeder guy was apparently 51-years-old. Are there really any people in such a young and spry age bracket who pay any attention to what O'Reilly says anymore?

For further reading on this topic:
Bill O'Reilly Correctly Predicted He'd Be Called Out for Things He Did
Murder of George Tiller Was "Pro-Choice Act," Says Anti-Choice Activist
You Probably Shouldn't Use Violence Against the Werewolf That's Going to Kill Us All
Pro-Life? Pro-Choice? Can We at Least Agree on Being Anti-PETA

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