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Oprah v. Palin

Read Mary's LiveBlog of Sarah Palin on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Let us know who you think deserves the gold in the Olympics of Ovaries!

White House High Five

Outgoing Obama aide, Anita Dunn, lauds Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

RIP Levi's Penis

We have some shocking news about Levi Johnston's upcoming spread in Playgirl.

Palin '09

Watch the best Sarah Palin moments of 2009 from The Daily Show and see how Jon handles this year's great Palin-palooza.

Branford Fisher

July 15 at 10:56AM

The Onion News Network: Which Candidate Speaks to Citizens with No Moral Compass?

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

Yeah,this is what I'm talkin' about! When are the candidates gonna start reaching out to voters like me?

If either Obama or McCain wants to win my vote, they're gonna have to really prove that they have no values. Don't get me wrong, they've both been doing a pretty damned good job up till now, but they really need to push it over the edge.

Otherwise, Branford Fisher is getting my vote.

See also: Bush Tours America to Survey Damage Caused by His Disastrous Presidency

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