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It's his Barack-hard abs, right?

Oh, it isn't?

[The Obama Cabinet] might be diverse, but not everyone is happy. Some women's groups are disappointed. Among Obama's strongest backers during the election, they now say they don't have enough seats at the table.

That's because of Obama's 20 announced Cabinet-level posts, five went to women: Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano as homeland security secretary, Sen. Hillary Clinton as secretary of state, Rep. Hilda Solis as labor secretary, Susan Rice as United Nations ambassador and Lisa Jackson as Environmental Protection Agency chief.

The job isn't Cabinet-level, but let's remember that Obama also named Mary "Glutton for Punishment" Schapiro as head of the SEC. Still! Women make up 51% of the American population, and only 25% of Obama's Cabinet. What is the deal with that?

Obama has said he's picking people for their skills and not pandering to special interests.

Oh, well, of course. Barack Obama would never, ever pander to special interests. It's not his style.

And he'll swear to that on Rick Warren's Bible.

* The NYT reports on exclusion of word "gullible" from new edition of OED…

* …follows up by blowing lid off left-wing conspiracy in support of bogus theory of "gravity."

* White House calls out NYT for the blackness of its kettle.

* PZ Myers is rightfully honored to be recognized by Andrew Sullivan as one of the best purveyors of "divisive, bitter and intemperate left-wing rhetoric."

* Will Barack Obama take the oath of office on a homosexual atheist's bible?

* Dick Cheney and Joe Biden need to get a room already.

* Al Franken leads Norm Coleman by even more people than went to see that Stuart Smiley movie.

I was going to embed some footage from the press conference, but then I remembered that I really don't care all that much — and we wrote about this two weeks ago — so, instead, I'm gonna embed this…

There's gotta be room somewhere in the administration for that chicken.

There just has to be.

Leave your caption in the blah blah blah…

The rundown goes like this…

* Attorney General: Eric Holder – AKA black guy with moustache

* National Security Advisor: Gen. James L. Jones – AKA clean-cut, avuncular white guy

* Secretary of Homeland Security: Janey Napolitano – AKA Hobbit woman

* Secretary of Defense: Robert Gates – AKA token Republican

* Ambassador to the United Nations: Susan Rice – AKA pixie woman

And, of course, the big surprise was his choice for Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton. Wow! What a shocker! I never, ever in a billion years would have guessed that one. Amazing, how they managed to keep a lid on that choice for all these weeks, with no leaks to the press or anything!

Man, you'd think a choice like Hillary Clinton would have dominated the news cycle for the past three weeks, rendering the actual announcement as little more than a boring bit of extra news that just gets stuck at the end of a really not all that funny post that most people probably aren't even going to read till the end.

Yep. Exciting news.

Obviously, this was a typo. Our apologies! That post title should have read "Cool Guy Tapped to Fulfill Super-Important Role." The spellchecker didn't catch it.

As everybody knows, Geithner got hands-on econopocalypse experience at the Treasury during the Asian financial crisis, which was just as bad as the mess we're in now (although theirs had cuter characters). And — I'm sure I don't need to tell you this — Geithner became president of the New York Fed at the tender age of 43. It goes without saying that the presidency of the New York Fed is the second-most important job in U.S. central banking, right after the chairmanship of the Federal Reserve, and that the Secretary of the Treasury is responsible for our country's economic, financial and tax policies.

But perhaps you didn't realize that Timothy Geithner belongs to the Keanu Reeves school of economics…

Mr Geithner looks a lot younger than his 47 years (though not as young as he did before the [current American] crisis began). He skateboards and snowboards and exudes a sort of hipster-wonkiness, using "way" as a synonym for "very" as in "way consequential" and occasionally underlining his point with the word "fuck".

These skills will give Geithner a unique ability to communicate with the American people about the Treasury's $700 billion bailout package, which is now a mere drop in the $7.4 trillion of taxpayer money that's being thrown at troubled financial institutions.

"You're way fucked," Tim Geithner will be able to tell the American people, right before he escapes to an undisclosed location on his skateboard.

If only there were a way to add a little heft to this cabinet. Nothing too drastic, just some awesome pecs, rock-solid abs and maybe a co-starring role with Sinbad, if that isn't too much to ask.

Could anyone possibly fit that description?

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke to President-elect Barack Obama this week and would be willing to work for the Democratic administration once his term expires if asked, the Republican governor said in an interview broadcast this morning…

The governor has deflected rumors that he would leave his job before his term ends in two years to work for Obama, although he has left a bit of wiggle room in recent interviews. He told Fox, "I want to finish my term as governor because there's a lot of different challenges ahead." But he did not flatly reject an early departure.

It isn't immediately clear what position might suit Schwarzenegger, but the possibilities are vast, including…

* EPA Administrator (Hummer Division).

* Ambassador to the Kennedys.

* Conan the Secretary of Agriculture.

* Kindergarten Attorney General.

Of course, if the Governator were to really join the cabinet, he'd have to submit to Obama's now infamous vetting process.

So hopefully, out of the reported 63 questions, none of them reads: "Have you ever abused steroids, denied that marijuana is a drug, participated in orgies, or groped your female aides, forcing you to apologize via mass media?"

Because if that's on there, he might not get the gig.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson has emerged as a "serious contender" to head the Commerce Department under President-elect Barack Obama, according to a Democratic official close to the proceedings…

Richardson spent 15 years in the U.S. House — from 1982 to 1997 — before being named by then President Bill Clinton as the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations. A year later Richardson became Secretary of Energy in the Clinton Cabinet.

I have no idea how any of that stuff makes him qualified "to foster, promote, and develop the foreign and domestic commerce." I'm guessing it doesn't.

But what I do know is that William Blaine "Bill" Richardson III is Hispanic (and how couldn't he be with a name like that?), and that makes him uniquely qualified to replace the current Secretary of Commerce, Carlos Miguel Gutierrez.

He also helps Barack Obama round out the United Colors of Benettonosity of his cabinet.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation began calling Geithner confidants this week, starting a vetting process of getting the economist and Fed veteran in place almost as soon as Mr. Obama is inaugurated the 44th president.

There is absolutely nothing funny about him or his imminent nomination.

Nothing!

He's a fucking economist, for Christ's sake! What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?!

Update: What?!

Wall Street staged a surprising comeback Friday, with the major indexes jumping more than 5 percent and the Dow Jones industrials surging nearly 500 points in a late afternoon rally, ending another volatile week that saw stocks reach six-year lows.

Stocks erased about half of the losses that came in steep selling Wednesday and Thursday after investors got an unexpected jolt of confidence late Friday following an NBC News report that President-elect Barack Obama plans to name New York Federal Reserve President Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary.

That can't be an actual factor, can it?