Here's how stars are made in today's Republican Party…

TMZ spoke with Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) who tells us he thinks Prejean could be a serious contender in the political arena:

"[Carrie] has the ability to draw crowds and if she has a strong message to go with that, who knows what she can do? She has star power which can open doors."

That's some high regard you hold your job in Rep. Chaffetz.

In all seriousness, though, could she possibly be any worse than Michele Bachmann?

Anyone who knows anything about politics knows the true measure of a legislator isn't his or her voting record, it's how well he or she can gleam the cube (ask your parents). So last night, after grilling California Congresswoman Jackie Speier about her district's plans to cure gayness, Stephen Colbert took to the halls of Congress armed with his board and a hunger for shredding.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

If you've got a working Internet connection, then by now you've almost certainly heard the news that Carrie Prejean — defrocked Miss California and advocate for anti-gay prejudice — is an asshole.

But, did you know that she is also an asshole?

Carrie Prejean has been a hot topic this week after it was revealed that she made multiple sex tapes for her ex-boyfriend. Now we are hearing from the ex-boyfriend and the plot thickens. He says she was 20-years-old when she recorded the sexually graphic cellphone videos and sent them to him for his reaction…

After the sex tape scandal broke, it didn't take Prejean long to call the ex-boyfriend. He said that she was furious and asked him to lie and say that she was 17-years-old at the time they were created.

Ugh! What is wrong with this stopwatch? It's been stuck at 14 minutes for too long now. Get to 15! Get to 15 already!

Breaking, official: disgraced Hewlett-Packard CEO/McCain '08 ladypuppet Carly Fiorina is gunning for Barbara Boxer's Senate seat in California.

All she has to do now is secure the Republican nomination, and here's where the story gets symbolic…

Fiorina, considered to be a moderate Republican with little history on social issues, will face off against conservative California Assemblyman Chuck DeVore for the GOP nomination.

The Fiorina-DeVore matchup has all the makings of another Republican battle between the conservative wing of the party and national leaders seeking for the most electable candidate. [...] A string of conservative bloggers have already lined up behind DeVore, and South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint said Tuesday he was backing the assemblyman.

So which will it be, California Republicans? The ineffective lady whose printers never work or the DeMint-ed DeVore? Only time will tell, but either way, it'll have nothing to do with the shallowness of the GOP's leadership pool and everything to do with Barack Obama's first year in office.

By now you've seen California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's letter to the State Assembly that included an expletive-laden secret message. It's been passed all around the internet, and last night it was featured on The Colbert Report. In fact, that letter has now been seen by more people than Collateral Damage and The 6th Day combined.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Can you spot Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret message to California state senators, accompanying his veto of their unanimous approval of funds to help the port of San Francisco?

Look closely…

That's right. The secret message is that he's not going to tolerate unecessary legislation when more urgent serious reform is greatly needed.

Thank you for playing.