I joked earlier about the people who sweat and actual blood went were given up so that we Americans could one day do what we're preparing to do tomorrow: watch as a black man is sworn in as the president of the United States of America.

My previous asshole comments aside, this really is a pretty momentous day for the country. One that most of us — even the young and (relatively) young (like me) — assumed would never happen in our lifetimes. (Especially after the crippling depression wrought upon 49 percent of us in the 2004 election.)

And a great deal of that credit deservedly goes to Martin Luther King, a person so inspiring that unrelenting in his battle for racial and social equality that you'd be hard-pressed to find even the staunchest of social conservatives harboring a bad feeling for him.

Forty-five years ago, MLK told the world about his dream that "that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"

With the obvious exception of the gays — who, let's face it, don't deserve equal treatment; am I right? — how close have we come to living up to King's dream? A CNN poll attempted to find out…

The poll found 69 percent of blacks said King's vision has been fulfilled in the more than 45 years since his 1963 "I have a dream" speech — roughly double the 34 percent who agreed with that assessment in a similar poll taken last March.

That's kind of nice to know, isn't it? And if nearly 70 percent of all black people feel that King's dream of a just and equal America has been fulfilled, just imagine how many white people think that…

"Whites don't feel the same way — a majority of them say that the country has not yet fulfilled King's vision," CNN polling director Keating Holland said. However, the number of whites saying the dream has been fulfilled has also gone up since March, from 35 percent to 46 percent.

Wait a minute. What's going on here?

What do white people* know that black people don't? Are they getting free frozen yogurt at TCBY on the sly or something?

* While I am, technically, a white person, must people usually assume that I'm actually some swarthy class of hobbit or drow elf. So, I'm not really privy to what "white people" apparently know. Personally, I won't be giving up the fight until all forms of humanoid — fantastic or otherwise — can live the dream.

L.F. Eason III is a guy who hates America — and all the racism, bigotry and oppression for which it stood for so many years — so much that chose to quit his government job rather then pay homage to one of the greatest senators the Dixiecrats ever provided…

Eason, a 29-year veteran of the state Department of Agriculture, instructed his staff at a small Raleigh lab not to fly the U.S. or North Carolina flags at half-staff Monday, as called for in a directive to all state agencies by Gov. Mike Easley.

When a superior ordered the lab to follow the directive, Eason decided to retire rather than pay tribute to [Jesse] Helms. After several hours' delay, one of Eason's employees hung the flags at half-staff…

He told his staff that he did not think it was appropriate to honor Helms because of his "doctrine of negativity, hate, and prejudice" and his opposition to civil rights bills and the federal Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

You forgot gay-hating.

With the closing of Gitmo possibly on the horizon, we take a look back at The Daily Show's groundbreaking investigative reporting on torture, like this piece in which Rob Riggle fearlessly donned a black mask to investigate what waterboarding is like from the waterboarder's perspective:

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, together since 1953, were the first gay couple to get married in California thanks to the state Supreme Court ruling that protects same-sex marriage. It was a symbolic ceremony because the couple wed in 2004, only later to have their union invalidated by the California Supreme Court. Uh oh.

Voters in California still have to decide in November if the court's ruling should be overturned, determining marriage as the union between the two special traits that define Jon's parents: ovaries and testicles.

Do California voters believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, or will George Takei live happily ever after in wedded bliss?

Heterosexual war hero John McCain made an appearance on Ellen DeGeneres's homsexual talk show today, and you'll never guess what uncomfortable (for heterosexual war hero John McCain) topic came up.

That's right, rights. Specifically, the right of California gays and lesbians to make their friends buy them expensive kitchen equipment.

See, Ellen's planning on marrying her girlfriend this summer, and she's really excited about that, so McCain made a toast to the happy couple…

"I just believe in the unique status of marriage between man and woman."

To which Ellen replied…

"It just feels like there's this old way of thinking that we're not all the same. We are all the same people. All of us. You're no different than I am."

Au contraire, Ellen.

You have much better taste in wives.

(Watch the clip here.)

In 2004, many regarded the injection of the question of gay marriage into the debate, including then Senior Analysis Correspondent Stephen Colbert on The Daily Show:

Well, today the California Supreme Court voted 4-3 that same-sex marriage is constitutionally protected.

This may not have as much of an impact on the election as in 2004, as all three remaining candidates have come out in opposition to a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and somehow at the same time are against the practice entirely.

Here are Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on last August's Logo sponsored Democratic forum on gay issues.

And John McCain at the Republican's Logo Forum.

OH SNAP!! There WAS no Republican forum on gay issues! My bad. Well here's some propaganda that came up when we typed "Gay marriage John McCain" into google. Maybe this will clear up his position.