Just like today, according to the Twitter account of Colorado state Senator David Schultheis…

Schultheis wrote, "Don't for a second think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. plane right into the ground at full speed. Let's roll." [...]

"Let's roll" were reportedly the final words of passenger Todd Beamer before his hijacked plane crashed into a Pennsylvania field during the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. Passengers aboard the flight tried to regain control of the plane and crashed before reaching the hijacker's intended target.

Now, you'd think Sen. Schultheis's apology muscle would be getting a serious workout today. You would be wrong…

Schultheis, who sent the tweet Tuesday, said he was angry about President's fiscal policies, but didn't mean to compare him to the Sept. 11 hijackers. [...]

"'Let's roll.' It's a comment people use all the time. 'Let's get going. Let's move on. Let's make major changes,'" Schultheis said. "I can see it now. But, you're busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don't analyze every single word."

Well, sure. That's true enough. Thanks for pointing that out, Schultheis, you fucking Bin Laden of Twitter.

(What? What'd I say? Guys, look, the to-do list is out of control.)

No seriously, you guys, actual blood…

"This cannot pass," the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. "What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass."

That is so, like, deep. This totally reminds me of that one time Congress filibustered a bill by smoking clove cigarettes and listening to the Smiths for sixteen hours straight. Awesome!

Also, I guess this means the Republicans' plan for health care will cover treatment for self-inflicted melodramatic empty gestures.

^{*Dear lord, I hope she isn't keeping a clone of herself in a closet somewhere, but who even knows with Michele Bachmann?}

After the jump, you can see the first time Stephen better knowed Colorado's second.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! Hold it right there. I was under the impression that these Gitmo prisoners were gonna be relocated into new military prison cells where they would be guarded by soldiers and kept safely away from the general public.

If Obama's planning on moving them into the foreclosed house down the street, my parents' spare bedroom, and the crawl space under my nephew's crib — as this ad seems to be suggesting — I am not cool with that.

And it seems no one feels stronger about that than Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO), a double-digit loser on November 4th. Rather than hopelessly attempt to equal McCain, Musgrave has decided to let his words echo by refusing to concede herself…

Two weeks after the brutal loss, Musgrave still hasn’t called her opponent [Betsy Markey] to concede or to congratulate the victor, as is not only textbook but also mannerly to do.

Now Musgrave lost by a good 11 points, despite the resonance of her platform, which consisted of the following policy points…

* Gay marriage is the single most important issue we face in our country.

* I'm the only Ken Salazar-certified Agent of Hate in the race.

* My opponent, Betsy Markey, is headed to jail. No, don't vet that claim, just accept it as fact!

* The Ku Klux Klan rewarded my gay-bashing with an endorsement.

* Yeah, the economy, I know… but The Gays!!

But now as Markey, the nation and her own staff wait for Musgrave to concede, another complication has emerged.

Namely that Musgrave has disappeared…

Though the Markey team doesn’t plan on stopping by Musgrave’s office while in town, eventually the two camps will have to touch base — just in terms of transitioning. But curiously, more rumors abound that no one has seen or talked to Musgrave since the brutal loss; she’s all but disappeared.

Hmm. Call this a stretch, but it seems to me the last time an anti-gay Colorado demagogue quietly disappeared, it was discovered that he'd spent the time in a Denver hotel room, snorting meth and banging a gay prostitute. His name was Ted Haggard.

But the comparison ends there. When he was inevitably booted from his megachurch, Haggard at least had the decency to concede.

Out: Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-4th District), Congressional homophobe in chief, who calls banning gay marriage "the most important issue we face today."

In: Jared Polis (D-2nd District), the first openly gay non-incumbent elected to Congress. (Barney Frank, Gerry Studds, etc. were already in Congress when Sarah Palin's church forgot to include them in their prayers.)

Polis's district includes the liberal hotbed of Boulder, which can now gloat to rivals Berkeley, Austin and Cambridge about the fact that those backwaters are still represented by straight people.

Meanwhile Musgrave, who comes from the flat, rural northeast corner of the state, will undoubtedly use her newfound free time to explore other ways to hate gay people. Among other things, she could…

* Join the Rev. Fred Phelps on a "God Hates Fags" tour of military funerals.

* Boycott companies that advertise on the Ellen show.

* Use what remains of her 59 year-old seductive powers to "actively assist" the de-gayification of Colorado preacher Ted Haggard.

As for Colorado itself, it's going to spend the next 2 years at the bathhouse before getting a facial and heading to the Bette Midler concert.

From MSNBC…

Florida: Obama 51%, McCain 49%  (90% reporting)

Colorado: Obama 54%, McCain 45%  (58% reporting)

Virginia: Obama 51%, McCain 48%  (95% reporting)

Nevada: Obama 60%, McCain 38%  (3% reporting)

All have been called for Obama.

As a comfort to McCain, he won Utah.

It's the Udall cousins, Mark and Tom! From Colorado and New Mexico, respectively, they are now forecast to be elected to two Senate seats left open by retiring Republican Senators. Isn't that cute? We hope they get an apartment together. Oh wait, they already have one.

It remains to be seen if the family magic will hold for their cousin, Sen. Gordon Smith of Oregon. Smith is on the wrong side of tonight's momentum, as an incumbent Republican, and he may well fall to Democratic challenger Jeff Merkley.

Also, we just feel obliged to mention this . . . all three cousins are Mormons. Is it OK to mention that? We mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. There are lots of major Mormon politicians, like Mitt Romney and Harry Reid!

Wait, actually that's kind of bizarre.

And there, he broke the news that the liberal mainstream media was too French to report: Barack Obama hates the National Anthem…

Singer Hank Williams, Jr., who has become a regular warm-up act on the campaign trail for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, said that Sen. Barack Obama is "not real crazy about" the national anthem before singing the Star-Spangled Banner at a rally in Colorado Springs, CO this evening.

"You know, I’m usually at Monday Night Football tonight, but Colorado, this is a lot more important tonight," Williams said at an airport hangar rally in Colorado Springs. "Join me now in our national — you know, that song that, uh, Mr. Obama’s not real crazy about, we’re singing it right now."

Apparently Williams received the right-wing chain e-mail that claims Obama wants to replace our current Anthem with "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing."  (Whereas John McCain has reached out to the Williams base by proposing it be changed to "Are You Ready For Some Football?")

Unfortunately for Williams, he may have dropped the bomb a few weeks too late.  Colorado allows early voting and, given its extreme popularity in the state, many residents cast their ballots long, long ago.

Not as long ago as the last Hank Williams, Jr. hit, mind you, but long ago nonetheless.

Check out more Swing State Seminars here!