Congress is taking a break for Thanksgiving, and as Jon Stewart pointed out on last night's Daily Show, it's bad news for everyone. After all, without Congress in session, who will warn us that the terrorists are going to kill us all, who will offer detailed plans for killing us all to the terrorists, and, perhaps most importantly, who will make the founders perpetually spin in their graves? That's where they get electricity for heaven, you know?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Earlier today, Mary pointed out how 52% Republican voters attribute Barack Obama's unfair election victory last year to the sinister powers of ACORN. (That's even higher than the percentage who attribute it to liberal chupacabras, reverse-unicorns and the creeping existence dark matter combined. Wow!)

Now, in another heroic roundhouse kick against acceptance of reality, unsuccessful conservative congressional candidate (NY-23) Doug Hoffman has yet another nefarious deed of ACORN's. They stole his election…

As evidence surfaces, we find out that reported results from election night were far from accurate. ACORN and the unions did their best to try and sway the results to Obamacare supporter Bill Owens.

Rest assured, they will not succeed, and I am therefore revoking my statement of concession…

Recent developments leave me to wonder who is scheming behind closed doors, twisting arms and stealing elections from the voters of NY-23.

I'm sure you are as dismayed as I am to learn of the mischief that took place in Oswego and neighboring counties. We know this would not be the first time for the ACORN faithful to tamper with democracy.

Fucking ACORN. If they're not hiding my house keys, traveling back in time to help out in the bombing of Pearl Harbor, or co-writing Old Dogs, they're stealing elections in suburban fiercely-conservative Republican stronghold districts.

Does their evil brilliance know no end?

Here's how stars are made in today's Republican Party…

TMZ spoke with Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) who tells us he thinks Prejean could be a serious contender in the political arena:

"[Carrie] has the ability to draw crowds and if she has a strong message to go with that, who knows what she can do? She has star power which can open doors."

That's some high regard you hold your job in Rep. Chaffetz.

In all seriousness, though, could she possibly be any worse than Michele Bachmann?

Last week, I reported that teabagging candidate Doug Hoffman still had a chance of winning the NY-23 congressional seat away from Democrat Whatever His Name Is and thus averting the tragedy of surrendering that seat to a Democrat for the first time since it was legal in the country to own human beings.

Well, he's still got a chance, but it's not looking quite as chancerific as it was last week. Say la vee. (La vee.)

This leads us to wonder if Republicans — despite growing dissatisfaction with congressional Democrats — the the GOP could still be getting ready to Scozzafava away all of its moderate (reasonable) candidates for 2010 and still end up losing ground.

According to this poll from CNN, that seems to be a possibility…

The poll indicates that a slight majority, 51 percent, of Republicans would prefer to see the GOP in their area nominate candidates who agree with them on all the major the issues even if they have a poor chance of beating the Democratic candidate. Forty-three percent of Republicans say they would rather have candidates with whom they don't agree on all the important issues but who can beat the Democrats.

Democrats polled seemed to place a slightly higher priority on electoral victory: 58 percent say that they would like their party to nominate candidates who can beat Republicans, even if they don't agree with those candidates on all the issues. Fewer than 4 in 10 Democrats say they would rather see their party nominate candidates who agree with them on all major issues, but have a poor chance of beating the Republican candidate.

Translation: Republicans are obstinate and unrealistic, while Democrats are cowardly and accepting of mediocrity.

So, this poll gives us no new information.

Anyone who knows anything about politics knows the true measure of a legislator isn't his or her voting record, it's how well he or she can gleam the cube (ask your parents). So last night, after grilling California Congresswoman Jackie Speier about her district's plans to cure gayness, Stephen Colbert took to the halls of Congress armed with his board and a hunger for shredding.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

What is it about the simple act of constructing an effigy in the likeness of another human being and then burning said effigy in a huge bonfire that gets people so upset?

What, exactly?

The chairman of the Danville TEA Party Patriots said Sunday he was unsure about whether the group will continue with its planned effigy burning of Rep. Tom Perriello, D-5th District, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi at a bonfire rally Saturday in Blairs. [...]

"We've been getting a lot of flack about this," [TPP Chairman Nigel] Coleman said, "about burning those two in effigy and a lot of people in the public are unhappy about it. The story has gotten so large, it's kinda strange."

It is strange! So, so, strange. Why all the attention? Why all the controversy?

Coleman sent a news release to local media Friday about the event, which opened with: "In a move sure to spark controversy, the Danville TEA Party will close their 'Fired Up for Freedom' rally by burning Rep. Tom Perriello and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in effigy in response to the passage of landmark health care legislation in the U.S. House of Representatives."

Yeah, that doesn't explain the fuss, either.

I guess we'll never know why some people have such crazy, overblown reactions to the world around them.

(Via TPM.)