Watch DAG's Election Night Send-off in Funny Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

DAG would like to say a few final words about tonight's historic first.

Thank you, Bush and Cheney. You fucked this country up so badly, that we finally have a chance for hope, a chance for change, hope for our future, and a chance to help our children achieve the American Dream, together.

HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON! HE WON!

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oprah voted across from a Drug Rehab center

Oprah feels like the country hasn't been this close since 9/11

Oprah has been drinking and reverted into her rarely heard "black voice"

Gayle got jokes

…And now this modern day Harriet Tubbman has shuffled Obama across the winning threshold. We all rejoice!!!

DAG brings us his latest update.

Watch DAG's Exit Poll Update #2 in Funny Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Always the cutting edge leader in news reporting technology, CNN's Wolf Blitzer talks to Jessica Yelin who is projected on set as a "Help Me Obi-wan Kinobi You're My Only Hope" hologram. That's right, a FUCKING HOLOGRAM!

Never mind that it looks very weird as Jessica will come to realize later, as if that wasn't enough, Wolf makes everyone uncomfortable with his over-the-top flirting and awkward advances as he stares longingly at the green screened Dark Lord of Sith standing magically in front of him.

…there is a tremor in the Election.