Did you know that there are a bunch of swarthy people with foreign-sounding names and terrorist-colored skin… hiding in the shadows of their immensely popular Internet sites… plotting to take down the government by… making eagles cry, or something?

And they're sponsored by that guy George Soros — whom, if talk radio hosts know anything (and they clearly know everything), is very, very evil.

This is no laughing matter! Don't believe me? Just watch this terrifying video that some guy made on his laptop for proof!

Holy Jesus! There was even an actual quote from Abraham Lincoln from that one time when he gave that speech warning real Americans about the dangers of certain Internet websites.

Come on, guys. This is serious. Let's all chip in and protect America from the Internet. It's what Abraham Jesus would have wanted.

(via Matt Yglesias (via Wonkette))

The newspaper is dying, slowly but surely. But who is responsible for the murder? Is it the scrappy blogosphere? Or the saccharin world of TV/radio journalism? Is this a blogger-correspondent conspiracy? Over the next few days, I'll be investigating the relationship between bloggers and TV/radio correspondents to reveal to you a complex web of intrigue and passion.

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How they feel about each other

Bill O'Reilly: O'Reilly is a kindergarten style flirt who teases the people he like-likes. But there is nothing innocent about O'Reilly's obsession with Markos.  Markos's legs must be tired because he's been running around O'Reilly's mind for years now. Billo cannot stop talking about Markos, and he even compares Markos to his other major crush, David Duke, who has always been O'Reilly's knight in cotton white armor.

Markos Moulitsas:  Markos once confessed to fellow object-of-O'Reilly's-Obsession, Keith Olberman, that he used to feel jealous and insecure about O'Reilly's crush on Keith: "I looked on as O‘Reilly attacked you for years and turned you into this ratings powerhouse on MSNBC, so I thought, I could use a little bit of O‘Reilly love. I‘m glad that he‘s actually delivered some of that." But after all the attention and love, Markos can't help but realize that he drives Bill crazy and can get him hot and bothered like no one else.

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How they really feel about each other

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Read more of Katie Halper's political commentary on Katie Halper Dot Com.

But this Tweet from Scout amused me and put things into a slightly sharper focus…

Wall Street to America: I drink your milkshake…..I drink it up!

That, I understand. It's from that movie No Country for Old Men, right? The Michael Clayton character says it to that smart-talkin' pregnant teen girl just after she climbs out of the fountain, right?

Yeah, I thought so. I'm clever.

(While we're on the subject, here's Scout's post from Sunday on what the hell's going on with Twitter all of a sudden.)

* Markos Moulitsas points out that the Senate is pretty much just as worthless under Obama as it was under Bush.

* Todd Beeton wants to know if Joe Lieberman will ever be held responsible for anything.

* No casualties reported in Rahm Emanuel's first meetings with GOP congressional leadership.

* Ron Paul wants to kill taxes on personal income and replace them with taxes on nothing. (Part 2 to his Freakonomics readers' interview.)

* As Congress brushes off Dingell, Big Three take a dump.

* John McCain happy about prospect of Napolitano appointment. Imagine that.

* The Onion: Editorial "I'm not one of those 'Love thy neighbor' Christians"

* Turns out Christmas was the only thing holding our fragile economy together all those years. How about that?

Anyone who sails with the Nader crowd deserves nothing more than ridicule.

Fuck Ralph Nader, and fuck his supporters. If the past eight years hasn't smacked any sense into their addled brains, then nothing will. This site caters to the reality-based community. No one else need apply.

Alright, I know what you're thinking. It's unfair of me to pick out a random comment and post it as though it represents the site as a whole or the site's founder, Markos Moulitsas. And you're right.

That's why I didn't do that. That was Markos Moulitsas.

That guy's gonna be some lucky president's chief of staff one day.

Below is his latest map, encapsulating the latest polls. All yellow states are considered too close to call, with 6 percent or less of a difference…

Moulitsas explains…

That is Obama 243, McCain 132. [Ed: Down from Obama 336, McCain 202 five weeks ago.] Looks pretty good, huh? Unfortunately for Obama, other than New Hampshire and Michigan, those are all Red states, with their past history of voting Republican. So we're not out of the woods just yet.

This is a real battle. But make no mistake about it, I'd rather be in Obama's shoes than McCain's.

This year, New Hampshire is worth 4 electoral votes and Michigan is worth 17. So, if Obama can retain those two states from last election, it'd bring him up to 264 electoral votes, just four votes shy of a win.

But, let's not forget. Obama allegedly tried to disenfranchise the entire state of Michigan a few weeks ago in his power-mad ploy to defeat Hillary Clinton for King of America. And he lost New Hampshire to Clinton.

Let's just hope that McCain does start squirting any tears, or the Democrats can kiss the Granite State goodbye.

The nation's top Democrats are suddenly rushing to appear on the Fox News Channel, a territory they had once shunned for being the nemesis of liberal bloggers. While some attribute Obama and Clinton's recent Fox appearances to an effort to court swing voters, candidates cite a different cause.

"Brit Hume just got kittens!" Explained Clinton. Added Obama "When it's time for them to sleep, he lets you feed them from a bottle!"

Markos Moulitsas, founder of the leading liberal site Daily Kos, told Politico's Michael Calderone…

Democrats are being idiotic by going on that network," adding, "Whatever, I don't even care. It feels so good to have time for me instead of always having to spend it with Democrats. I mean, good for them if they're happy, but I think Democrats and Fox News are totally wrong together. And doesn't it seem like Democrats have gotten kinda fat?

Ari Melber, the Net movement correspondent for The Nation, told Politico…

I don't think that it is tenable to completely neglect or ignore what your base wants," adding, "Although neither is it tenable to disregard what your acid wants. All I'm saying that when you run a campaign, pH level is imperative. I mean, when you lose sight of titration, you've got to ask yourself why you're in the race to begin with. Pasteur/Curie in '08!

Goaded in part by a taunting "Obama Watch" clock displayed by Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace, Obama appeared last Sunday after resisting the show's entreaties throughout the campaign. In a post-interview commentary, Obama exclaimed, "Wait, that clock was not attached to a bomb? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Early in this presidential race, John Edwards led the Democratic candidates in what amounted to a Fox boycott. Edwards appeared on Fox 33 times between August 2000 and January 2007, the month after he announced his campaign, and has never been back. Of course, his absence in recent months is most easily explained by the fact that these days, nobody cares what he has to say.

Clinton had a civil interview on Wednesday night with prime-time host Bill O'Reilly, who has often mocked her husband. Explained Clinton, "I'm sorry, can you blame him? Did you hear about the cigar thing?"

The Clinton campaign confirms that Hillary is poised to break bread with Fox News' infotainer Bill O'Reilly. The appearance on Wednesday will be Clinton's first ever appearance on O'Reilly's show.

Markos Moulitsas — no fan of Fox News or its propagandistic tactics — responds on DailyKos…

So Hillary Clinton will go on Bill O'Reilly's show on Wednesday. But it's good! Because Obama supporters told me that going on right-wing propaganda outlets is a great idea, joining such luminaries as Lanny Davis, Joe Lieberman, Dan Gerstein, and Harold Ford.

He's being sarcastic.

MoveOn's Adam Green…

It was a mistake for Obama to go on FOX's Sunday show and treat the experience as if it was a real news interview. Democratic politicians need to understand that FOX is a Republican mouthpiece masquerading as a news outlet. When dealing with FOX, you either burn them or they will burn you… Enough. Democratic politicians, for your own benefit: stop legitimizing FOX.

And DailyKos' Markos Moulitsas…

It exposed his campaign as a bunch of liars. The Obama campaign's press show promised people that Obama would "take on" Fox News. Of course, none of that happened. That would've electrified "the left", and we know that Obama doesn't want to do anything that might make him look like a "captive" to it… What this does demonstrate, and quite clearly so, is that Obama is quite willing to score cheap political points at the expense of his base, regardless how much it might embolden the very same people that are working to demonize him to the American people.

To be fair, those were the worst of the quotes I could find, and both Green and Moulitsas both pointed out that they still support Obama's campaign and want to give birth to his babies.

But, to be not fair… the left wing progressive anarchist movement is finally being torn asunder. And all because of Fox News.

All hail Fox!

Let us know if you think Stephen was fair and balanced.

You can watch Moulitsas' previous appearance here.