Election Day

We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.

No Fair Health Care

This former McCain campaign advisor on health care is going to loose his coverage. No, seriously.

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Daily Bloomberg

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Dave Grohl

March 19 at 5:13PM

Dave Grohl Will Have His Revenge on Democracy

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

Yes, it seems to be true. Foo Fighter Dave Grohl claims he's running for president because a) he really cares about America, b) he is stoned out of his gourd, and c) he has a world tour to promote.

But when you think about it, this isn't so crazy. Grohl is attractive in a hairy kind of way, and he certainly appeals to the coveted youth demographic. He's also got a bootstrapping personal history: he went from rural blue-collar Virginia to a life of privilege and success. So basically he is the grunge John Edwards!

In an exclusive with Harp magazine, Grohl unveiled his candidacy and talked about what it was like to be the kid who "didn't have enough money to be a member of the neighborhood swimming pool."

Q: So how did you keep cool in the summertime?

A: You know what I did? I turned on the hose and I drank from it. I want America to come back to that place where we're all drinking from the hose.

And if he can figure out a way to fill the hose with beer and get everyone into Warped, that dude will totally win.

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Johnston's Johnson

Before the end of the year, John McCain will stare into the maw Levi Johnston's penis. And he will weep.

Grand Ol' Census

That census form you just received in the mail is okay to fill out because it's not actually a census form!

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Robert Gibbs was Luke's father?

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"Healthcare legislation is like taking a dump this big. Sure it may hurt, but once it passes it feels soooo good."
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