The final presidential debate is upon us, and let's face it — we're really beyond a drinking game by now, aren't we?

Everything has been building, building, building for so long that at this point, we just want the climax already. Yeah, you feel us. We're just animals, right? Aw, yeah. Political animals.

So, while drinking can (should?) certainly accompany the action, this game is about building to that climax. Although, we have a feeling you'll find this game just as frustrating as the debate itself:

Click here for a printable version!

In light of the attack-y tone the campaign is taking, tonight's presidential debate promises to be an exercise in polite repression. And isn't that the kind of thing that drives people to drink in the first place?

Wouldn't you rather express and drink at the same time? Well, that's where we come in. Because this drinking game will get your "magnetic poetry" juices flowing…

…as well as the juices you need to digest alcohol.

To play the Presidential Debate "Write the Smears" Drinking Game, you can either click here, or print this.

And then, follow these rules:

1. Each time a candidate starts to answer a question, you have until he finishes speaking to assemble the vile, baseless smear of his opponent he is thinking instead of the answer he is giving.

2. When time is up, compare with your friends.

3. The person with the best smear takes two drinks. The person with the worst takes one.

4. Repeat.

Get your smear on while you get your drink on!

And, if you think you can handle the Expert Version of the game, play against The InDecider here.

Did Gwen Ifill lob too many softballs last night? Did that one issue that you have a bug up your butt about not get covered?

Or alternately, were you pissed that neither Palin nor Biden made any major gaffes or serve up the crazy as we all were expecting?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of the above questions, our "Ask the VPs" application is for you.

Can't wait another hour and a half until the debate? Well never fear, we have your opportunity to ask Sarah Palin and Joe Biden absolutely anything you can think of with our handy "Ask the VPs" application below.

Don't forget to check back at 9:00 pm EST for our VP Debate LiveBlog, and download our official VP Debate Drinking Game.

If you're like us, you already started drinking weeks ago in preparation for tomorrow night's debate, which will no doubt be the most watched vice presidential debate in the history of televised vice presidential debates. But if you're waiting till Gwen Ifill officially gets the party started, we've got something for ya.

The rules are simple: each of these is to be accompanied by a shot of any neutral grain spirit you can get your hands on:

* Every time Sarah Palin says "Gwen," open your copy of How to Totally Ace Your Job Interview, and then think about where you see yourself in five years.

* Every time Joe Biden says "malarkey," drink a shot of hogwash.

* Every time Palin mentions Russia, mention France, re: Senator Biden's underpants.

* Every time Biden mentions his Scranton upbringing, sing the first verse of "Allentown."

* Every time Palin mentions wildlife protection, skin the person next to you.

* Every time Biden mentions his father, sing the bridge of "Allentown."

* Every time Palin accidentally agrees with Barack Obama, spin around and around in your chair until whatever she said starts to sound like a GOP talking point.

* Every time Biden mentions taking the train to and from his Senate job, sing the train whistle part at the beginning of "Allentown."

* Every time Palin mentions small town values, inquire about banning a Harry Potter book and bill yourself for your own rape kit.

* Every time Biden drops an anachronism, airmail Alexander Hamilton a cuneiform slab with your pager number.

* Every time someone in the room says Palin seems like someone cool to have a beer with, stand up and yell "Goody Palin is a witch!"

* Every time Biden and Palin break into an argument, make out with the person next to you.

* Every time Biden and Palin make out, debate the person next to you.

* Every time Palin speaks in a run-on sentence, get yourself for into the position of being to drink a sip of beer and therefore on the chair on which you sit turn around and face your neighbor but you will not have had enough into which to vomit and that's good because you will be feeling in a way that is comparable to ways in which you have drunk before, at home, where they teach good drinking values.

Click here for your very own printable version!

Just because wordle is so much fun, we ran all the words that the candidates spoke last night.

In the clouds below, the relative size of a word indicates the relative frequency each candidate spoke that word. Click on the images for a larger version.

Barack Obama

John McCain

UPDATE: The link to the larger McCain version should be fixed.