By now, we've probably all heard that the crazy conservative conspiracy theorists who thought that the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (or ACORN) was a corrupt tool of the worst elements of liberalism were completely justified in their crazy conspiracy theorizing.

But have you heard this interesting thing?

[T]he Senate yesterday voted overwhelmingly to prohibit Housing and Urban Development grants from going to [ACORN], which bills itself as "the nation's largest community organization of low and moderate income families."

That's not really the interesting part. Of course the Senate would "overwhelmingly" vote to stop American tax dollars from going toward the illegal trafficking of sex workers and the fostering of whorehouses. I mean, really, you'd just have to be pretty dumb and politically suicidal to not vote against a thing like that.

Here's the interesting part…

Eighty-three senators voted for an amendment from Sen. Mike Johanns, R-Neb., to ban the funds, with seven senators voting against the amendment and nine not voting.

Seven United States senators voted against the bill! And they're all fucking Democrats (except for one who's an independent socialist, which is pretty much like a super Democrat)…

So, you were wondering how the Democrats were planning their spectacular implosion in the 2010 midterms? Does this give you any ideas?

The vastly-Democratic U.S. Senate is having a hard time allocating the remaining $410 billion of last year's last-minute omnibus spending bill because… well, because they're Democrats…

The Senate stalled on the omnibus Thursday night when Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) came up short of the 60 votes he needed to move the bill forward.

That led to an "ugly" late-night, closed-door meeting between Reid, Senate Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.) and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) — aides in the hall heard yelling and swearing — and it has fanned House Democrats’ anger over Rei'’s inability to move bills without granting major concessions to marginal members of both parties.

"We're always frustrated with the Senate," House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.) said Friday. The rejoinder from Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.), a suddenly powerful centrist who helped strip the House stimulus bill of billions: "I've said all along, the House needs to learn how to count the votes in the Senate." Reid's own vote count came up short Thursday night.

Now, you might not think that counting to 60 is particularly difficult. But, you gotta remember, these are not professional mathematicians we're talking about here.

To count all the way up to sixty, you've got to convince at least three congresspeople to take off their shoes and socks so that you can use all their toes as well as fingers.

And, as you know, you can't convince a full three Democratic congresspeople to do any one thing.

Here is handsome legislator Brad Pitt (D-Kalifornia), strolling the halls of the Capitol where he was yesterday, in person, talking about New Orleans and completely freaking out the interns because OMG!!!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was not immune to his charms. Praising Pitt for his work to rebuild New Orleans' hurricane-ravaged 9th Ward, she even allowed that meeting him affords her "bragging rights to my children and my grandchildren — a real treat for me as well."

Nancy Pelosi gets so few "treats" these days, why not? She will have even more to brag about when Brad Pitt adopts her grandchildren. But what will Harry Reid do?

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid confided to Pitt that he was envious that his lieutenant, Majority Whip Dick Durbin, got to meet soccer star Mia Hamm a day earlier, according to one person who was present and spoke on condition of anonymity.

Well, Pitt replied, he'll bring along co-parent Angelina Jolie next time to help Reid make Durbin jealous, this person said. Later, a Durbin aide sniffed: "Durbin's already met Angelina Jolie."

Snap! Take that, Reid, and shove it under your sad little shrine to Mia Hamm. In fact, rumor has it that Dick Durbin's looking heavier than usual these days… too many trips to the Senate cafeteria?

Or BABY BUMP?

I wonder what Illinois' senior senator Dick Durbin thinks his state's new junior senator Roland Burris should do now that it's looking like he may not be a totally innocent party in the whole Blagojevich affair…

"I told him that under the circumstances I would consider resigning," Sen. Dick Durbin, Illinois' senior senator and the Senate's No. 2 Democrat said after a nearly hour-long meeting with Burris.

Oh, really? Well, I suppose that means Burris will be leaving the Senate now. I bet he's packing up his stuff right now as you read this…

"He's told me clearly that he will not resign."

Or not. Yeah, I guess not. That kinda makes more sense.

Yesterday — despite weeks of a three-ring political circus — Roland Burris was officially sworn in as Illinois' junior senator…

A who's who of senators and House members flocked to Sen. Roland Burris on the U.S. Senate floor after his swearing-in Thursday as the chamber's newest member, ending an embarrassing episode for Democrats who vowed to block his appointment.

"I'm feeling terrifically vindicated," Mr. Burris, who was barred from the swearing-in ceremony last week over objections that his appointment was made by scandal-plagued Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich, said later outside the chamber…

On the Senate floor, a beaming Mr. Burris found himself wrapped in hugs by fellow Democrats who once locked him out, including the other Illinois senator, Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada.

Sure, he's beaming now. But I wonder how he'll feel after Harry and Dick catch him alone in the senatorial shower room. When he finds out why they're called "Leader" and "Whip."

Some advice for the new Senator Burris: Get busy living, or get busy dying.

If you think that Rudy Giuliani and Rick Santorum are big losers, you've got another think coming. When it comes to political losers, no one holds a candle to the GOP's Jim Oberweis, who is currently running for Congress in Illinois!

Oberweis, a millionaire investor and dairy-farm owner, has a proud history of miserable failure in elections. Here's a run-down:

- 2002: Oberweis runs for the U.S. Senate in Illinois. He finishes a distant second in the Republican primary to Jim Durkin, a Congressman whose Senate candidacy was based entirely on the hope that voters would confuse his last name with incumbent Senator Dick Durbin's. Durbin wins in a landslide.

- 2004: Oberweis again tries his luck for the Senate, this time run for the open seat vacated by Republican Peter Fitzgerald. He places second in the Republican primary to wealthy banker Jack Ryan, who quickly becomes embroiled in a sordid sex scandal. Amazingly, the Illinois Republican Party declines to tap Oberweis to fill in as the GOP nominee, instead turning to Marylander Alan Keyes, who goes on to lose to Barack Obama, 70% to 27%.

- 2006: Oberweis figures that he should try for a more local office and throws his hat into the Illinois Governor's race. Once again, he comes in second in the GOP primary, this time to state treasurer Judy Topinka, who goes on to lose the general election to the scandal-ridden incumbent Governor Rod Blagojevich.

- 2008: Oberweis enters the special election to replace retired Republican Congressman Dennis Hastert in a rural, conservative Illinois district. Incredibly, he wins the Republican primary (nice work, Jim!) but goes on to lose the deep-red seat to Democrat Bill Foster.

Currently, Oberweis is gearing up for a rematch against Foster in the November election. Pundits are already declaring him … you guessed it … the loser!