Indecision Forever » DNC

Republicans Go Online to Escape Crushing Loneliness IRL

Mary Phillips-Sandy — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 14:33:50 +0000

Today the beleagured Republican National Committee elects its new chairman, so last night GOP leaders gathered for a little group therapy…

The party’s outlook is grim, Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell implored, as he rolled off figure after figure of demographic groups Republicans lost badly in 2008, particularly blacks and Hispanics.

He lamented that the party is increasingly becoming a "regional party."

"That’s called a minority party," the Senate Minority Leader said, "and I didn’t sign up to be in the minority party."

Chairman hopeful Mike Duncan, for one, is confident the GOP can chip its way out of this lily-white sand trap…

Duncan defended the RNC, saying it has "50,000" on their "social network" (presumably, he means Facebook) — more than the Democrats, he contended.

Almost immediately after Duncan finished trying to convince the members of the party’s hip, social networking prowess, the lights in the room went out. The Republicans, literally, were in the dark.

It's funny because it's true! Know what else is true? Here's the RNC on Facebook: 52,991 members. DNC on Facebook: 35,197 members.

So when we start choosing our government by tallying Facebook popularity instead of votes, which should be any day now, the Republicans can stop pretending to care about blacks, Hispanics, women, Jews, Arab Americans, poor people, residents of New Orleans, etc., and get to work on issues that really matter to their constituents.

Like SuperPoking.

The Cream of The Daily Show's Convention Coverage, Part 1

TheInDecider — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:31:12 +0000

While the Jon Stewart and the Daily Show correspondents recharge their batteries following two weeks of ass-kicking convention coverage, let's use this week to take a look back on the cream of their convention coverage.

The DS correspondents bring it hard core to the DNC and show why they're The Best Fucking News Team Ever.

John, Jason, Aasif and Rob report live from Larry Craig's infamous bathroom/sexatorium in Minneapolis.

Jon chooses the media analysis of Wyatt Cenac over Samantha Bee's, even though she's "Still the One."

Big Change, Small Packages

Dennis DiClaudio — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:26:05 +0000

This is Sophia Maguire, a very enthusiastic Barack Obama supporter from the Beltway area that I had the good fortune of running into on the last day of the DNC.

She told me she approved of Obama's choice of vice president, citing Joe Biden's 35 years of senatorial experience, as well as his time spent as the chairman of the U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations, as the perfect compliment to Obama's youthful vigor and deep understanding of Constitutional law.

Her brother Sam agrees with her in most, but has slightly different reasons for throwing his support behind the Obama/Biden ticket…

In years past, Sam Maguire — though socially liberal — might have considered himself a Republican, or at the very least a Reagan Democrat. But these days, with the historically financially conservative GOP hijacked by neocons and theocrats bent on nation-building and governmental spending out of control, he feels that the Democratic ticket offers the more fiscally responsible choice.

Here's Sophia and Sam, waiting around with their mother Molly in Daily Kos' The Big Tent for some associates of theirs to arrive, so they could all head over to Mile High Stadium to see Obama's big speech.

I Survived the Democratic and Republican National Conventions

Dennis DiClaudio — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:46:57 +0000

…and all I got was almost pepper-sprayed and wrongly imprisoned.

Well, that's a stretch. But it could have happened. If only Michael and I had stuck around Thursday's protest about twenty minutes or so longer.

Ah, regrets.

Anyway, we still have a lot of things, observations and conversations from those two conventions that we never hit upon on the blog for lack of extra minutes in the day. So, we'll be catching up with ourselves all this week.

One observation I can definitely make right here and now is that — after two weeks of hanging out with either ends of the bell curve — it's sooooooo nice to be back in lovely godless, deviant New York City where nobody gives a shit what you think, just so long as you don't brush against them on the subway.

Barack Obama and John McCain: Compare and Contrast

Dennis DiClaudio — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 08:26:23 +0000

Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech
August 28, 2008

John McCain's Acceptance Speech
September 4, 2008

To be fair, I do realize that the ability to speak well does not a qualified president make.

Presidents should be judged on whether or not people hate them in Germany.

What is the Difference Between Denver and Minneapolis-St. Paul?

Dennis DiClaudio — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:51:52 +0000

Denver, DNC

Minneapolis-St. Paul, RNC

Can you spot the difference between these two pictures?

Answer after the jump…

Answer: The people in the top picture hate America, and the people in the bottom picture will kill you.

Paul Mecurio Confronts the Edwards Player-Haters

TheInDecider — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:29:07 +0000

Decorated Daily Show warm-up comedian Paul Mecurio travels to Denver and finds it teeming with John Edwards' love children.

Stay tuned for more Unreliable Intelligence from Paul this week from the RNC.

After the jump, Paul learns how to spin and goes deep undercover as a homeless man to take advantage of free convention week zoo and museum tickets.

What to Expect When You're Expecting…to Be at the Republican National Convention

Dylan and Ethan Ris — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:00:14 +0000

The Democratic Convention has come and gone, and now it's the GOP's turn to make their pitch. If you're attending this convention as well, just follow the handy survival guide we issued for the DNC, but note these important differences between the two events:

Convention Aspect	DNC	RNC
Location	Pepsi Center and Invesco Field, Denver	XCel Energy Center (Luxury Box), Minneapolis/St. Paul
Theme	"Change We Can Believe In"	"Country First"
Most Prominent African-American in Attendance	Barack Obama	Cowboy Troy
Most Prominent Woman in Attendance	Hillary Clinton	Ann Coulter Sarah Palin
Vaguely Described — But Definitely Evil — Scourge Upon America	Big Oil	Activist Judges
Crossover Traitor From the Opposing Political Party	Rep. Jim Leach (Republican of Iowa)	Sen. Joe Lieberman (Political Whore of Connecticut)
Frequency of Mentioning George W. Bush	Constant	Never
Most Embarrassing Person in Attendance	Rep. William Jefferson (D-LA)	Sen. Joe Lieberman (Political Whore of Connecticut)
Overriding Sentiments	Hope, Change, Exuberance	Experience, Constancy, Regularity

Inside Barack Obama's Speech at Mile High Stadium – A Photo Rally

Dennis DiClaudio — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:00:14 +0000

If you weren't one of the relatively few people lucky enough to spend hours waiting in the hot sun to get into a crowded stadium to kind of hear Barack Obama's speech over the cacophony of frenzied Democrats and were forced instead to watch it from the comfort of your living room couch, then here's an extra special gift for you.

Now you can experience BHO's coming out party exactly as Michael and I did…

There were no shortage of people set up every five feet along the line, prepared to sell us useless junk. Which came in really handy, as Michael had foolishly left our stuffed Obama doll back at the hotel.

This woman would not let me take her picture unless I bought a pin. Now that's an understanding of free trade. She must have been a Republican.

They were giving out free bottles of water by the truckload. Literally. I drank about twelve. And then I burned the plastic bottles, allowing their chemicals to escape into the atmosphere, so as to not create any litter. I'm an environmentalist.

I'm pretty sure these people were in line for Obama's acceptance speech, though I'll bet at least a few of them thought there was just a run on Whoppers.

One of the people waiting in live with me and Michael. I have nothing funny to say about her. She was nice.

Here I am, at my utmost happiest: Waiting in an eternal line on a hot Denver afternoon with credentials that may or may not get me inside. But I have Hope.

This woman was selling socks that she herself had designed, to make up for the appalling absence of Obama-themed footwear. Only 1,200 pairs in existence! Collector's items!

Eventually, the line moved down off the street and into this parking lot, where it would snake up and down and up and and around in a kind of Moebius Strip kind of way, giving the illusion that we were actually getting closer to Mile High Stadium.

I was really intrigued by this sticker that said "Make Out Not War" for some reason.

Democrats did this.

You can't see it, but the guy just off to the left of this picture had a human head on his stake.

Just when we thought we were actually getting near the stadium — about an hour into the wait — the line took a left turn to go take a whiz in the alley way behind this building.

The $2.00 "Obama Water" was soooo much better than the lame free water people were giving away just around the corner. I think it's because it was infused with Change minerals and Obamalytes.

Yes. That's a cardboard effigy of Barack Obama inside a pneumatic tube. Your guess is as good as mine.

My favorite part of the line was when we got to hike down this mountainside. That was really fun until Michael was attacked by a billy goat.

I have a feeling this guy was making some kind of political statement. Or he mistakenly thought he was at the RNC.

From what I could see from a thousand miles away in the parking lot, Al Gore's speech really kicked ass.

Eventually — counter to everything I was beginning to believe about life and existence — we did manage to get into the security tent, where they made us go through a magnetic gate and empty everything out of our pockets so that they could touch it all with their fingers before we went in. I'm sure that must be effective on some level.

…and then we ran as fast as we could to the stadium.

Turns out our seats were really high up. Towards the top, I started to feel dizzy.

I don't know who these people think they are, waving American flags at an Obama speech. Don't they know that this is Sean Hannity's America?

This woman was giving away American flags… for free! Apparently, she thinks our flag is worthless. (What more proof do you need that Barack Obama is a socialist.)

That's me, trying to fit in by pretending to love America along with with everyone else pretending to love America. They were some pretty awesome seats we had.

Yep. Amazing. (I think that smudge down there is a person.)

The Denver Bronco's mascot: A gigantic plaster-encased horse. I heard that it's the job of the men up there to feed it through a straw twice a day.

Michael on the Blackberry, twittering our LiveBlog. (I hate almost everything about that sentence.)

Of course Fox News was there on the floor. You could smell their stand all the way from our seats.

It was nice getting to watch Joe Biden speak on television.

Did you see this guy's sign on TV? We were sitting right behind him!

The 80,000 people in attendance were completely rapt by this guy, whoever he was.

And we had a fantastic view of the back of his head.

Despite my initial fears, a relatively few number of Obama supporters began feasting on human blood as the sun began to set.

By the time Barack Obama came onstage, it was so dark that this was the best picture we could take of him. (That's me, thinking about Hope.)

I know a lot of people say that Barack Obama isn't ready to lead America, but I was really able to see him as a pretty authoritative figure.

Despite the rarefied air way up in the stratosphere where we were sitting, we were actually able to make out a little bit of Obama's speech. My favorite part was when he said whatever it was that made the entire audience applaud approvingly, shriek uncontrollably and stamp their feet until it felt like the stadium was going to collapse. Not the 17th time that happened, but, I think, the 33rd time. Yeah, that was a good point he made.

When the speech ended, fireworks started going off about twenty feet above our heads, and at first we both almost had heart attacks — Michael because it was really loud and shocking, and me because I only eat food made from pork or beef and that happens to me from time to time.

After the initial explosion, they started going off in a succession around the perimeter of the stadium, and every time we could see them coming back our way, we held our ears and braced ourselves. We were literally getting singed by burning tatters of spent explosives. The sky was full of so much fluttering paper confetti, I was certain it was gonna catch fire and we'd all burn to death.

It was awesome.

As soon as Obama was finished speaking, Michael and I — and practically everybody else in the stadium — left as quickly as possible to try and avoid having to watch the benediction. It was pretty chaotic, marked by no little amount of cursing and shoving. (I have no pictures of this, because I was too busy cursing and shoving.)

Eventually, near the final exit, we were met by the obligatory throngs of sign-wavers. I was one of approximately four people who stopped to read their inspiring messages of hate.

This guy's signs, if you can believe it, were even sillier from from the front.

I told you.

Ron Paul was, of course, represented.

Amongst all the signage on display, this was my favorite. (Steak, potato and egg? Now, that's a burrito I can believe in.)

Despite my general asshole-ish commentary, Michael and I are actually very grateful to Scott and Todd for hooking us up with this chance to witness such a historic moment first hand.

Terror at 5,280 Feet – An Index of Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 Coverage of the DNC

Michael Kraskin — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:23:03 +0000

As we say goodbye to the mile high city of Denver, we take with us many fond memories. Or we would, if we hadn't killed the brain cells that contain those memories with the copious amounts of free alcohol that were flowing here all week.

Fortunately in lieu of biological memory, we have our blog. Below the fold, you can browse an index of all of the DNC coverage from Comedy Central's Indecision 2008.

OUR BREAKFAST WITH JON STEWART:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

LIVEBLOGGING THE CONVENTION

Democratic National Convention – Night One

Democratic National Convention – Night Two

Democratic National Convention – Night Three

Democratic National Convention – Night Four

VIDEOS FROM THE DAILY SHOW

Correspondents Reveal What's In Their Convention Survival Kits

Hello From Denver