I don't know about you, but on a beautiful day like today, I really enjoy lying in the grass, staring up into the clouds and wondering What if…

But, since I've got a job, I usually just end up reading bullshit unfounded speculation on the Internet instead…

[If John Edwards had not run for president] Could Hillary Clinton have grabbed Edwards' loyalists and won early, stage-setting contests in Iowa, where Barack Obama emerged as a contender with a stunning win, or later, in the South Carolina primary?

Yes, says Mark Penn, Clinton's close campaign adviser and pollster. Penn has asserted that without Edwards on the ballot, voters would have taken a "fresh look" at Clinton.

Well, if Mark Penn says it, it must be true. Why, he's never proven himself to be wrong-headed, duplicitous or willfully ignorant before. That guy is a straight shooter if ever I did see one.

But, just for the sake of adding length to this post, let's see what somebody who knows what he's talking about has to say. What does Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com have to say about it?

Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com: "The most compelling evidence concerns where Edwards' support might have gone, had he withdrawn once the campaign had gotten under way in early 2007: polls showing that Edwards supporters preferred Obama to Clinton as their second choice in Iowa (as early as May 2007) and in New Hampshire (a few days before the primary)…

"Edwards started the race as the leading candidate in Iowa. Had Edwards withdrawn in late 2006, others who were considering the race at about that time — Tom Vilsack, Evan Bayh, Mark Warner — might have gotten in."

Yeah. Edwards' campaign was the only thing standing between Evan Bayh and the White House.

He must be very bitter.

WorldNetDaily's Brad O'Leary alerts us of a real, actual issue that real, actual, non-paranoid-schizophrenics really, actually have to concern themselves with…

Gird your blogs, because if liberals in Congress get their way, President Obama will have sole discretionary authority to shut down the Internet or critical parts of the Internet should he feel his presidency is being tested. Worse, under the guise of cybersecurity, Obama will essentially be granted the power to destroy free speech on the Web.

On April 1 of this year, Sens. Rockefeller, Snowe, Bayh and Nelson introduced bills S. 773 and S.778, collectively called the Cybersecurity Act, which would give President Obama dictatorial power over the Internet during a time of national crisis or emergency.

Don't get me wrong: Concerns that President Obama and liberal congresspeople are plotting to declare martial law over the entirety of the Internet and start dictating what right-wing bloggers are allowed to say is in no way a completely-invented issue that borders on the senseless ravings of a sanatarium resident.

It's just that I'm more concerned with the high-levels of Goblin that scientists have been discovering in our drinking water.

Following up on last night's Tim Kaine interview, Jon Stewart continues his survey of people who are not going to be VP with Indiana Senator Evan Bayh this Thursday.

I'm hoping this means we'll see Kathleen Sebelius on Friday to close out the runner-up trifecta. Or Hillary.

This is Sen. Bayh's first appearance on The Daily Show, so instead of posting a previous interview as a primer, here's Evan Bayh addressing his constituents about the 2008 election.

Has Matt Drudge actually scooped Barack Obama on his VP pick?

KMBC's Micheal Mahoney reports a company in Kansas City, which specializes in political literature, has been printing Obama-Bayh material…

Gill Studios, would not confirm information about the material. They would not deny it either. At least three sources close to the plant's operations reported the Obama-Bayh material was being produced…

Here's the website for Gill Studios, the company that's supposedly printing the bumper stickers. Doesn't exactly look like the kind of company that would be privy to that info.

I don't think they'd get to know who the new VP at the local Chemical Bank is.

His first name is actually Birch!

…what?

What did you think I was going to say?

We're running out of time to spread rumors about Barack Obama's veep pick, so let's smear these latest clues across the internet as quickly as possible.

Obama's making an appearance with his running mate in Springfield, Illinois on Saturday. That much we know. So, um, Joe Biden, where are you going to be on Saturday?

Biden replied, "Here" and pointed down to his driveway [which is located in Delaware].

As he pulled out of the driveway in the driver's seat of his car he then said to the press gathered near his gate, "You guys have better things to do. I'm not the guy."

That certainly sounds like an upfront admission of Biden's non-veepiness, but a) he could be lying, or b) Obama's Springfield advance teams are a cover-up for a major event taking place in Joe Biden's driveway. Assuming c), he's telling the truth… oh my god! Is Obama going to pick Hillary after all? Or another high-ranking woman, like Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas?

No, because Barack Obama's disdain for women prevents him from keeping his New England colleges straight…

[Obama] used the word "he" to describe his choice rather than the phrase "he or she," which would appear to exclude potential female running mates such as Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.

A senior Obama strategist, Robert Gibbs, said that reporters shouldn't "read anything into" Obama use of the masculine pronoun.

An earlier comment from Obama, though, also made it seem unlikely that he'd pick Clinton. He told a woman in the town hall audience that he gets Wellesley College, a women's college outside Boston where Clinton was the student commencement speaker in 1969, confused with co-ed Wesleyan University in Connecticut.

Good goddess! Why does Obama have such scorn for poor Hillary Clinton that he can't remember where she gave her commencement speech?

For that matter, why can't he remember the commencement speech he gave at Wesleyan three months ago?

All these hints add up to one logical answer: Evan Bayh really will be Obama's running mate.

Or, you know, not.