But, since I've got a job, I usually just end up reading bullshit unfounded speculation on the Internet instead…

[If John Edwards had not run for president] Could Hillary Clinton have grabbed Edwards' loyalists and won early, stage-setting contests in Iowa, where Barack Obama emerged as a contender with a stunning win, or later, in the South Carolina primary?

Yes, says Mark Penn, Clinton's close campaign adviser and pollster. Penn has asserted that without Edwards on the ballot, voters would have taken a "fresh look" at Clinton.

Well, if Mark Penn says it, it must be true. Why, he's never proven himself to be wrong-headed, duplicitous or willfully ignorant before. That guy is a straight shooter if ever I did see one.

But, just for the sake of adding length to this post, let's see what somebody who knows what he's talking about has to say. What does Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com have to say about it?

Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com: "The most compelling evidence concerns where Edwards' support might have gone, had he withdrawn once the campaign had gotten under way in early 2007: polls showing that Edwards supporters preferred Obama to Clinton as their second choice in Iowa (as early as May 2007) and in New Hampshire (a few days before the primary)…

"Edwards started the race as the leading candidate in Iowa. Had Edwards withdrawn in late 2006, others who were considering the race at about that time — Tom Vilsack, Evan Bayh, Mark Warner — might have gotten in."

Yeah. Edwards' campaign was the only thing standing between Evan Bayh and the White House.

He must be very bitter.

Gird your blogs, because if liberals in Congress get their way, President Obama will have sole discretionary authority to shut down the Internet or critical parts of the Internet should he feel his presidency is being tested. Worse, under the guise of cybersecurity, Obama will essentially be granted the power to destroy free speech on the Web.

On April 1 of this year, Sens. Rockefeller, Snowe, Bayh and Nelson introduced bills S. 773 and S.778, collectively called the Cybersecurity Act, which would give President Obama dictatorial power over the Internet during a time of national crisis or emergency.

Don't get me wrong: Concerns that President Obama and liberal congresspeople are plotting to declare martial law over the entirety of the Internet and start dictating what right-wing bloggers are allowed to say is in no way a completely-invented issue that borders on the senseless ravings of a sanatarium resident.

It's just that I'm more concerned with the high-levels of Goblin that scientists have been discovering in our drinking water.

I'm hoping this means we'll see Kathleen Sebelius on Friday to close out the runner-up trifecta. Or Hillary.

This is Sen. Bayh's first appearance on The Daily Show, so instead of posting a previous interview as a primer, here's Evan Bayh addressing his constituents about the 2008 election.

KMBC's Micheal Mahoney reports a company in Kansas City, which specializes in political literature, has been printing Obama-Bayh material…

Gill Studios, would not confirm information about the material. They would not deny it either. At least three sources close to the plant's operations reported the Obama-Bayh material was being produced…

Here's the website for Gill Studios, the company that's supposedly printing the bumper stickers. Doesn't exactly look like the kind of company that would be privy to that info.

I don't think they'd get to know who the new VP at the local Chemical Bank is.

…what?

What did you think I was going to say?

Obama's making an appearance with his running mate in Springfield, Illinois on Saturday. That much we know. So, um, Joe Biden, where are you going to be on Saturday?

Biden replied, "Here" and pointed down to his driveway [which is located in Delaware].

As he pulled out of the driveway in the driver's seat of his car he then said to the press gathered near his gate, "You guys have better things to do. I'm not the guy."

That certainly sounds like an upfront admission of Biden's non-veepiness, but a) he could be lying, or b) Obama's Springfield advance teams are a cover-up for a major event taking place in Joe Biden's driveway. Assuming c), he's telling the truth… oh my god! Is Obama going to pick Hillary after all? Or another high-ranking woman, like Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas?

No, because Barack Obama's disdain for women prevents him from keeping his New England colleges straight…

[Obama] used the word "he" to describe his choice rather than the phrase "he or she," which would appear to exclude potential female running mates such as Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.

A senior Obama strategist, Robert Gibbs, said that reporters shouldn't "read anything into" Obama use of the masculine pronoun.

An earlier comment from Obama, though, also made it seem unlikely that he'd pick Clinton. He told a woman in the town hall audience that he gets Wellesley College, a women's college outside Boston where Clinton was the student commencement speaker in 1969, confused with co-ed Wesleyan University in Connecticut.

Good goddess! Why does Obama have such scorn for poor Hillary Clinton that he can't remember where she gave her commencement speech?

For that matter, why can't he remember the commencement speech he gave at Wesleyan three months ago?

All these hints add up to one logical answer: Evan Bayh really will be Obama's running mate.

Or, you know, not.

Warner considered a presidential run early in 2007, then was widely discussed as a potential running mate for either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, but finally decided to pursue the open Senate seat in Virginia instead.

Oddly enough, Warner will be one of a very few Democratic keynote speakers in recent memory who is not African-American. Here are the previous honorees, their races, and what they're doing now…

2004: Illinois State Senator Barack Obama (African-American). Currently still involved in politics in some way, I'm not exactly sure.

2000: Tennessee Representative Harold Ford, Jr. (African-American). Ran for the U.S. Senate in 2006, lost narrowly, and is currently an MSNBC talking head.

1996: Indiana Governor Evan Bayh (not technically African-American, but he loved "Soul Plane.") Currently definitely not trying to be the Vice President, that's for sure, although if someone asked he wouldn't necessarily say no.

1992: Texas Representative Barbara Jordan (African-American). Currently deceased, but has an airport terminal named after her. And that' something.

So, if history is any indicator, Warner has a big future to look forward to. And, who knows, if the Dems fall short this November, maybe he can even be the first black president.

Misprints are Tools, God's NY Voting Plan. (Dr. Ballon)

Rove to TNN: "Sing Pirty Songs! Ma iPod's All!" (JJC)

No, Most R's Love Tit, Dropping Tangy Mint Ass Into It! (joan)

Mmm, tangy mint ass! Okay, here's today's headline:

Indiana Senator Offers Obama Risks and Rewards

And here's an anagram of that headline to get you started:

Drink Aforementioned Sassafras; Draw Abrasion

Okay, now it's your turn. Ready? Go!

Get this: the Huffington Post — which predicted that Barack Obama would announce Evan Bayh as his running mate today — got something wrong…

In an interview with Mary Beth Schneider of the Indianapolis Star today (hat tip to our Swamp buddy John McCormick), Bayh claimed to have "no idea" what Obama's VP timeline is and added:

"I'm absolutely confident there will be no announcement tomorrow. I guess the best way to put it is, if there's an announcement tomorrow, I'd be as surprised as anybody else."

There's a good side and a bad side to this.

The bad side is that we can no longer view HuffPo as the exemplar of pitch perfect journalism and subjective integrity we've all come to view it as, lo these many months.

The good side is that we all get to continue speculating like mindless droids for another few weeks.