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Foreign Policy

November 2 at 11:36AM

Hillary Clinton "Dr. Phil's It Up" in Pakistan

POSTED BY: Gladstone

Its 2009. Osama bin Laden is still at large. And, apparently, the United States' relationship with Pakistan is not paying the kind of dividends we'd like to see.

That's why Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is on a three day trip to Pakistan. And based on her rhetoric, she's taken a page from Dr. Phil for these talks

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Friday she did not come to Pakistan for "happy talk."

Her three-day trip is aimed at getting frank, open discussions going about the fight against terrorism, and that includes presenting U.S. concerns about how much success Pakistan is having, she said.

In an interview with CNN, Clinton said it's time to "clear the air" with a key U.S. ally. She added, "I don't think the way you deal with negative feelings is to pretend they're not there."

There ya go. Pervez Musharraf won't be able to counter that. Especially not if she follows it up with a "So, you first gained power via a military coup… How's that working out for you?" Then when he's all, "You're not the same country, I did photo ops with eight years ago," she can be all "I can't help you, Pakistan. Only you can help you."

Faced with that kind of diplomacy, Musharraf's only option would be to Springer it up with a "It's my country, I do what I want!"

And that, my friends, is how we win this war on terror.

September 9 at 3:08PM

The University of Wyoming's Dick Cheney Center for International Students and Brain-Exploding Irony

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

When you think of a safe and nurturing set of arms lovingly outstretched for foreign-born young adults, it's pretty much impossible to escape the one most obvious correlation:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney

A decision by the University of Wyoming to name a new center for international students for former Vice President Dick Cheney is drawing criticism from people who say Cheney's support for the Iraq war and harsh interrogation techniques should disqualify him from the distinction…

The center is funded in part with $3.2 million the Cheneys donated to the university in several installments while he was vice president…

"We feel that by naming it the Cheney International Center, that the programs and UW can't avoid being identified with that ideology and that approach to global politics that the Bush-Cheney administration championed," Pelican said Tuesday.

Awesome! The new Cheney Center for International Students should really fill out the quad nicely, right alongside the university's excellent Lohan Center for Feminist Studies and the Vick Center for Veterinary Medicine.

At any rate, it's gotta be more popular than the old Cheney Center for International Students (his basement).

September 1 at 11:13AM

President Obama's Popularity Surging Amongst People Who Can't Vote for Him

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Even more of that even more proof that Barack Obama is an un-American, Muslim anti-American and this time it involves more than just words people say. There's good ol' patriotic math involved

A Pew Research Poll released today shows that the image of the United States has "improved markedly in most parts of the world," largely because of the high levels of global confidence and trust in Obama. Improvements were especially high in Western Europe, but attitudes toward America also warmed in Canada, Mexico, Argentina and urban populations in Brazil, India and China. Nearly 27,000 interviews were conducted in 24 nations, as well as the Palestinian territories.

"His personal popularity and new respect for the U.S. having elected him translates positively for the U.S. image," former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said…

Hmmm… Bet you can't guess the one country in which, according to Pew, Obama's presence hasn't been having quite as much of a positive effect recently.

On second thought, I'll bet you can.

August 31 at 2:25PM

Sarah Palin Can't See Asia from Her Porch, But She's Going There Anyway

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

sarah-palin-pointing-vertSince becoming unemployed Sarah Palin has had more time to focus on her hobbies, which for a dedicated former public servant like Sarah Palin involve learning about the issues of the day, so she can write Facebook notes about them.

Next on Ms. Palin's agenda? A trip to Asia, her first ever, to address the CLSA Investors' Forum in Hong Kong. Take that, everybody who says Sarah Palin lacks foreign policy experience…

CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets, a Hong Kong-based brokerage, announced Monday that the former Republican candidate for the U.S. vice presidency and, until she resigned last month, governor of Alaska, will address the Sept. 21-25 [Investors' Forum] in what a press release called "her first international speaking engagement outside North America."

But look! Also too! The CLSA forum is "Asia’s premier investment conference providing unrivaled corporate access to 1,300 global fund managers from 32 countries, representing more than $10 trillion in funds under management," which means that Sarah Palin will simultaneously become an expert in international finance, all in one trip!

And if the multitasking Ms. Palin samples a traditional dim sum feast during her visit, why, she'll be able to launch her own gourmet cooking show just as soon as she gets home.

April 1 at 10:30AM

Jon Stewart and John Oliver Rebrand America's Looming Disasters

POSTED BY: Eric March

Barack Obama realizes that he was elected for one reason and one reason alone — to calm America the f**k down.



What would you rename the War on Terror?

February 20 at 3:00PM

Caption Challenge: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in Japan

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Update: We're letting this one run through the weekend since it had a short week.

Add your captions in the comments section of this post.

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