Strictly speaking, this the whole Roman Polanski fiasco shouldn't be a issue of any political importance — God knows, you'd never catch our government legislating sexual matters — but now that "Bernard Kouchner, the French Foreign Minister, revealed that he had written to Hillary Clinton, the US Secretary of State, to call for the release of the director," which is ridiculous, I'm taking that as the go-ahead sign for me to be equally ridiculous.

So, Thaddeus Russell, writing for The Daily Beast, just wrote a thought-provoking article that puts us in mind of an age-old question concerning sexuality that's of particular interest lately: At what age is a person emotionally mature enough to get raped by Roman Polanski?

Hmmmm…

Most often my [female undergraduate] students argued that sexual relations between an adult and a child (whom some defined as anyone under 18, some under 16, and others as the "emotionally immature") necessarily involved the manipulation of the weak by the powerful, which was wrong.

But then, I asked, why was it acceptable for adults to cajole and at times physically force children to play sports, wear hipster t-shirts, attend church, wash the dishes, listen to "good" music, obey authority figures, or, as the president of the United States told them directly, to take responsibility for "nothing less than the future of this country"?

That's a kind of interesting point. Why is it that I'm allowed to force my barely pubescent daughter to do her chores and finish her homework, but Roman Polanski's not allowed to force her to take drugs and have anal sex with him? Is American culture still so perversely puritanical that it can't see the inherent hypocrisy in that?

Though, to be fair, Russell is drawing a distinction between "having sex with a child" and "raping a child," because, okay, let's draw that distinction for some reason…

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Memo to: Iran
From: USA, Britain, France
CC: World
Subject: Secret uranium enrichment plant

Look, we KNOW you have one. And you know we know you have one, because our intelligence agencies just busted you. You also know you are NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THAT…

"They have cheated three times," one senior administration official with access to the intelligence said of the Iranians late on Thursday evening. "And they have now been caught three times."

Iran, cheaters never win! Didn't your mom teach you that? So knock it off. You now have until December to stop being such jerks. Or else… well, or else something. But trust us, you won't like it.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

ps. How's it feel to get bitch-slapped by Canada, huh?

When your grandchildren ask you why there was a war in a place called Iraq you can just smile wisely, repeat the headline above and shoo them off to play with their My Little Hovercrafts.

Yes, it seems our ex-president had a very good reason for launching a secretive war that cost thousands of lives and billions of dollars: he was on a mission from God…

President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.

Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their "common faith" (Christianity) and told him: "Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins."

Weirdly enough, then-President Chirac didn't jump at this opportunity to put on the armor of God and get a-smiting. Instead he said something along the lines of "Let me get back to you on that, Monsieur Le Petit Arbre," and then he summoned his staff, who sat around scratching their heads (in French)…

Chirac says he was boggled by Bush’s call and "wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs."

A terrifying and bizarre episode, to be sure, but at least it confirms something I've suspected for a long time.

French people aren't just surrender monkeys. They're also blasphemer chimps.

(via the heathen Andrew Sullivan)

* David Shuster freaks out over bald spot being shown on-air. Because his perfect hair was the only thing seperating him from all those cable news hacks.

* Bill O'Reilly is 10 times smarter at math than 1/10th of a rock.

* Rand Paul — son of Ron Paul — expected to announce plans to run for U.S. Senate. But can he match his father's hot winning streak?

* Sarah Palin could be getting her own syndicated talk radio show! Well, her own syndicated random-word-utterance radio show?

* The Onion: Ordinary Americans respond to Sarah Palin leaving office.

* Smartest guy in the world to Congress: "Keep your government hands off my Medicare."

* This is how you pull off a real birther grift.

Submitted by WIDTAP.