Call them what you will — puppets, dummies, inanimate objects being controlled by more powerful forces — but they control the world in which we live. Or, to be more precise, they are controlled into controlling the world in which we live.

For more-entertaining, less-politically-damaging puppets, tune into the new Comedy Central series The Jeff Dunham Show premiering this Thursday, October 22 at 9pm / 8c.

Some guy, M.J. Rosenberg — Director of Policy for Israel Policy Forum or something — over at TPM Cafe is really feeling exceptionally gloaty this morning.

Ordinarily, I just skip right over posts like this in my Google Reader, but this one was so thick with liberal partisan self-satisfaction that I practically got splattered with patchouli-smelling schadenfreude as I scrolled past it…

I was just reading the rightist blogs on the President's triumph at Notre Dame. These are really the worst of time for the bad guys. And it is critically important that we enjoy their misery because it may not last forever. (On the other hand, it might)…

These guys are in agony. They are living their worst nightmare. Not only is a liberal Democrat in the White House, but he's the reincarnation of FDR. He's politically deft. He's popular. He has a beautiful family. He has the supreme confidence of a JFK and the political skills of Clinton but without the character flaws. And, like FDR, and LBJ, he intends to transform America.

Muahahahahahahahaha! Nothing can possibly go wrong! Why, we haven't seen one political party so completely dominate the other since… since… four years ago when the Republicans plowed over the Democrats so badly that many thought liberalism was completely dead! And that victory lasted forever!

It's pure Democratic gold, I tells ya!  Pure Democratic gold!

Tune in tomorrow when we discover that President Obama has been conducting a long-term sexual relationship with an underage, male, Swine Flu-infected Chupacabra.

This week, everyone's talking about President Obama's first 100 days in office, but what about his last 100 days in office? How well did he handle the Roomba uprising? What about his response to the jetpack flu outbreak? And was it his fault that Hotel for Dogs 7: Die, Hotel for Dogs, Die didn't win Best Picture? While we wait for those answers, here's Stephen Colbert on Obama's first 14 Mondays.

After the jump, Stephen continues his analysis with Jonathan Alter.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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So, apparently, somebody was talking about the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act — and its connection to The Great Depression — near Rep. Michele Bachmann on Monday.

And when the information went inside her brain, it got lost, part of it was eaten by a bear, and what finally managed to stumble out of her mouth on the floor of Congress sounded like… well, like regular Michele Bachmann talk…

On Monday night, our friends at Dump Bachmann reported, Bachmann took to the House floor and paid tribute to the economic policies of Calvin Coolidge and the "Roaring 20s" (the era that ended with a massive monetary contraction and the Great Depression).

One particular line really does stand out, though — saying Franklin Roosevelt turned a recession into a depression through the "Hoot-Smalley" tariffs…

Yeah, those Hoot Smalley tariffs sure were a problem. I wonder how many people were forced into the lead brines because of them.

Matt Yglesias has more on Bachmann's remarkable intelligence.

Of all the fabricated benchmarks created to judge President Obama, the first 100 days is one of the most excitingly noteworthy and easily digestible.

Sure, President Obama has downplayed the importance of the event. Senior Advisor David Axelrod even called it a "Hallmark holiday," thereby belittling other Hallmark holidays like Grandparents Day and Administrative Professionals Day.

But ever since gaining those dead pirate points, Obama can only win support from the media coverage, and so Obama will "pay homage to his 100 days with a Wednesday trip to… Missouri," the state where every exciting thing ever happens.

In honor of the landmark, we decided to celebrate Obama's milestone by over-oversimplifying it further and boiling it down to a nice simple chart comparing President Obama's first 100 days to the accomplishments of history's most famous presidents in such a way that even an idiot could understand…

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FDR Was A Big, Fat Stupid Head: The Republicans are gobbling up a revisionist history book that paints FDR's New Deal policies as failures, which makes them squeal with joy. Capitol Hill drama club Politico.com explains it all. [politico.com]

Latinos In A Lose-Lose Situation: The economic reality of Mexico is hardly hopeful, which is why immigrants risk life and limb to scurry over the border to America, just so they can face gringo hostility. Daphne Eviatar highlights a report about immigrant discrimination. [washingtonindependent.com]

Racist Rally About Racism: Why is that, in the manicured world of international diplomacy, walking out of a meeting in a huff is a masterly insult? Anthony Lerman wants the West to debate racist loonies who rant at anti-racist conferences about other races. [guardian.co.uk]

Chrysler to Big Government: Nuts To You: Blogger Rob is a true Darwinian capitalist: if you're company sucks, it should go down. And that means, if you're a struggling car company, you shouldn't accept government handouts. Build a better car, or hit the bricks. [sayanythingblog.com]