Indecision Forever » George Bush

Dick Cheney Was Disappointed by His Puppet President

Dennis DiClaudio — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:09:30 +0000

Are you prepared for some disheartening news? Because I've got some disheartening news for you. Get ready to be disheartened…

"In the second term, [Dick Cheney] felt [President George W.] Bush was moving away from him," said a participant in the recent gathering, describing Cheney's reply.

"He said Bush was shackled by the public reaction and the criticism he took. Bush was more malleable to that. The implication was that Bush had gone soft on him, or rather Bush had hardened against Cheney's advice. He'd showed an independence that Cheney didn't see coming. It was clear that Cheney's doctrine was cast-iron strength at all times — never apologize, never explain — and Bush moved toward the conciliatory."

What?! Dick Cheney and George Bush did not see eye-to-eye on the correct way to piss on the Constitution?! That's so sad. Two angry, fearful men who just wanted to soak the founding principles of the nation in their foul-smelling urine, and they couldn't make it work together.

That's really sobering. I mean, those two guys are the very best at being terrible, and if they can't find common ground in country-ruining, then what chance does Barack Obama have in ruining the country? What chance do any of us have in ruining the country?

I guess when I have kids, I won't be able to tell them that when they grow up they can achieve any goal they set their minds to.

The Blog Hole: More Cheney, America's a Dead Beat and O'Reilly Loves America More Than You

John DeVore — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:20:58 +0000

America, The Deadbeat: The United States might lose it's AAA credit rating, but Felix Salmon is all "So what?" Those once vaunted credit agencies have lost their credibility, and investors will still tie their money up in Treasury bonds. It's not a great thing that the US triple-A might poof and vanish. But it's not the ticket to the Third World hysterical economic journalists think it might be. [reuters.com]

Stop Blaming Bush, Bully: Obama's speech about terrorist detainees, amongst other things, was a big ol' middle finger to President Bush, claims Republican booster Fred Barnes. According to Barnes, Obama's speech has a divisive and partisan duck and swerve, laying blame on the last guy and avoiding answering any real questions about the 240 detainees languishing in Cuba. It should be noted that Fred Barnes hearts the GOP, and totally hates on godless liberals. [weeklystandard.com]

Tin Men And Straw Men: Dick Cheney, you are an embarrassment of riches to political junkies. Over at Talking Points Memo, Zachary Roth debunks the former-Vice President's defense of "enhanced interrogation techniques," and in some cases, sets fire to Mr. Cheney's various, rhetorical straw men. You have to give the guy his due, though. The Iron Hunchback makes Michael Steele, Bobby Jindal, and Sarah Palin look like inarticulate clowns. [tpmmuckraker.com]

Why Do You All Hate America? The ACLU has a blog, and they're using it to rip up Bill O'Reilly's endorsement of the New York Police Department's questionable "stop and frisk" policies, whereby racially-profiled citizens are subjected to on the spot, warrantless searches. To oppose this tactic, according to O'Reilly, is to hate America. Let's take a moment to recall the wise words of Ben Franklin, "Peeps who trade freedom for security are whack, and end up without either." That is not a direct quote. [aclu.org]

Donald Rumsfeld's Top Secret Photoshop Skills

Gonzalo Cordova — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:59:21 +0000

GQ magazine — the most journalistic integrity-y publication of journalist integrity – released images of the covers of the top secret intelligence briefings concerning the Iraq War produced by Donald Rumsfeld for former president (sounds nice to say "former president") George W. Bush.

The images all consisted of images of soldiers accompanied by a Biblical quote, casting further doubt to the previous administrations religious intentions with the Iraq War. In Rumsfeld's defense, putting color pictures on the briefings was the only way to get Bush to even look at them.

Eeek. Pretty creepy right? Well, wait till you see the intelligence briefing covers that didn't make the cut. We got our hands on some exclusive rough drafts from Rummy's old eMachine PC, and we're posting them on the site for you guys. You're welcome.

Click after the jump to see the exclusive images.

This following image was when they were considering recruiting at local elementary schools. After all, if history has taught us anything, it's that children love crusades.

The Christmas lights were supposed to be a metaphor for Iraq's intricate system, but everyone was worried that George Bush would get confused and send Saddam Hussein a fruitcake, so they ditched this next image.

Everyone at the White House loved this one, but they thought it belittled the troops to use lyrics from a Sugar Ray song. Instead, they decided to honor the troops by cutting funding for body armor.

George W. Bush insisted that flying squirrels be used in briefings whenever possible.

I see why they ditched this next one. Seems kind of ironic to use a scripture quote basically stating the way to silence people who are wrong is by doing good in your personal life rather than out and out confrontation. Especially when you're at war with another country instead of performing any real acts of charity with that war budget. Definitely see why this only made it through the rough draft stages.

Oh, oops, I was wrong. That one was actually a cover for a briefing (it's REAL!). My bad.

This next one seems kind of weird. How did that quote get in there?

Oops, that was just a typo. This is what they really meant.

Evaluating Obama's First 100 Days

Gonzalo Cordova — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:00:39 +0000

Of all the fabricated benchmarks created to judge President Obama, the first 100 days is one of the most excitingly noteworthy and easily digestible.

Sure, President Obama has downplayed the importance of the event. Senior Advisor David Axelrod even called it a "Hallmark holiday," thereby belittling other Hallmark holidays like Grandparents Day and Administrative Professionals Day.

But ever since gaining those dead pirate points, Obama can only win support from the media coverage, and so Obama will "pay homage to his 100 days with a Wednesday trip to… Missouri," the state where every exciting thing ever happens.

In honor of the landmark, we decided to celebrate Obama's milestone by over-oversimplifying it further and boiling it down to a nice simple chart comparing President Obama's first 100 days to the accomplishments of history's most famous presidents in such a way that even an idiot could understand…

First One Hundred Days	President Barack Obama	History's Presidents
Greatest Accomplishment	Signing economic stimulus bill into law within the first month in office, thereby creating a socialist state to rival the evil dictatorship that is Canada.	Most Like: F.D.R who established principles and set down laws that made up the New Deal. Those programs would later be adapted into the popular TV show, New Deal or No Deal.
War on Terror	Letting the terrorists win by banning torture and closing Guantamo Bay. Also failing to recapture the known criminals who escaped from the facility, Harold and Kumar.	Most Like: Bush, who let the terrorists swim (sounds like win) by water boarding the snot out of them.
Pirate Killing	Ordering military action against Somali pirates hijacking an American ship. Obama showed weakness by not waging a War on Piracy that would eventually lead us into attacking North Korea for obvious reasons.	Most Like: Thomas Jefferson who also fought piracy, refusing to pay tribute to pirates, knowing Disney would one day do so in theme park ride form.
Education	Strengthening the false concept that if they work hard and studied in school, any child can grow up to become future president.	Most Like: Lincoln who strengthened the concept that if they grew and married a beard, any gay child could grow up to become future gay president. or Most Like: Bush who strengthened the true concept that if they did enough coke and drove enough drunk, any child of a former president can grow up to become future cowboy president.
Civil Rights	Invited gay families to the White House Easter Egg hunt, figuring, who better to find decorative balls than gay fathers.	Most Like: JFK who believed everyone, regardless of race, color, or creed, had a right to join the wild sex parties taking place in colleges and universities around the nation.
Dog Ownership	Acquired Bo, the dog, as promised to his daughters, stating in his acceptance speech, "you've earned the new puppy."	Most Like: Nixon who claimed Checkers the dog was his only election gift, presumably stating, "I'll tolerate this new puppy," while shaking his head and making the peace sign with both hands.
Cabinet Members	Establishing his "Team of Rivals," placing three people (Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, and Tom Vilsack) who pretended to disagree with him the democratic primaries in key political positions where they now always agree with him.	Most Like: Lincoln who placed people who actually disagreed with him in key political decisions and faced negative consequences as a result. So yeah, basically the same thing as Obama.
Milestones	Being the first black president, symbolically marking the end of over 200 years of oppression.	Most Like: George Washington, who as the first white president symbolically marked the beginning of over 200 years of oppression
Biggest Failures	Failing to achieve bipartisan unity as conservatives and Republicans grow increasingly hostile and unreceptive of his economic and social agendas	Most Like: Every president ever, who all failed to achieve bipartisan unity because politicians are all sore losers.

Joe Biden Hates "The Empire Strikes Back"

Michael Kraskin — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:23:39 +0000

The Obama campaign announced today that Joe Biden will be going on the attack today…

Aides say Biden will use his unique standing as McCain's decades-long Senate colleague to further accuse the Arizona senator of being a "sequel" to President Bush's two terms.

"We've seen this movie before, folks," Biden will say, according to excerpts provided by the campaign. "But as everyone knows, the sequel is always worse than the original."

Generally speaking, I don't mind tough tactics on the campaign trail. But outright lies? Seriously, Joe, let's look at the record…

* The Empire Strikes Back
* Spider-Man 2
* X2
* Blade 2
* The Dark Knight
* Evil Dead II
* Aliens
* The Godfather Part II
* T2
* Superman 2
* The Wrath of Khan
* The Matrix Reloaded (yeah I said it)

The list goes on, Joe. Please, for the dignity of America, stick to the facts.

LiveBlog: Republican National Convention – Night Two

Dennis and Michael — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:00:15 +0000

11:07 – So, are we all agreed? Fred Thompson's speech is the speech to beat so far? It wasn't great. But it had great parts. Like, the part about McCain's time in Vietnam. And when he attacked Obama. That was also effective. Lieberman's speech seemed whiny. So, who's gonna best Thompson?

11:00 – He sounds pleading, doesn't he?

10:57 – So, is he really saying that even though you wouldn't ordinarily vote for a Republican, since the Republicans fucked up so badly these past eight years, you should now vote for a Republican? That makes perfect sense.

10:52 – "The McCain/Palin ticket." It must kill him to say that.

10:51 – Are they applauding Bill Clinton in the Republican Convention???

10:50 – He spoke well of Barack Obama. That's because he's "Democrat."

10:49 – Oh my God! He said Michael Moore!!!

10:45 – Why do I find it so hard to listen to anything that comes out of Joe Lieberman's mouth?

10:44 – "Country matters more than country." So don't not vote for him because he's a Republican. Please!

10:43 – You're not a Democrat.

10:42 – What I say? What I say?

10:41 – Oh, he's gonna try to sell the idea that McCain's not a Republican… He's an American. That's his job.

10:40 – Oh my God! It's Fred Basset!!!

10:35 – USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!- DDC! DDC! DDC!

10:34 – Thompson's been on for a long time now. – DDC

10:30 – That "businesses" business is actually pretty clever. And a pretty interesting point. And I like the "other side of the bucket" idea. That's actually a pretty socialist way of looking at it. – DDC

10:28 – Only Republicans can turn popularity amongst our allies into a bad thing. -MK

10:26 – Oh, are we winning now? I should have read the newspaper. – DDC

10:25 – "He seeks truth not publicity." Especially if he has to travel in a flak jacket and with a military escort. – DDC

10:23 – "John McCain's bones may have been broken, but his spirit never was." Did Bush use that exact same line? – DDC

10:21 – That "Hope" line was really good. – DDC

10:17 – So, John McCain dated a stripper, so he should be president? And then he married Cindy McCain and chose Sarah Palin as his VP. I'm just saying is all. – DDC

10:14 – Really. I think Thompson is drunk. His voice is really warbly. – DDC

10:12 – So, the Democrats and the media are scared of Sarah Palin? I can't imagine why that would be. – DDC

10:10 – Is he drunk? He seems more so than usual. – DDC

10:09 – Oh my God! It's Fred Thompson!!! – DDC

10:07 – Dis anybody ever really call Ronald Reagan a "maverick"? – DDC

10:06 – Oh my God! It's Ronald Reagan!!! – DDC

10:03 – So, if John McCain wins the election, does that mean that we'll have a beauty queen as a First Lady and a runner-up as VP? – DDC

10:02 – Cindy McCain did landmine removal work? Princess Diana did landmine removal. That's popular amongst pretty blondes. – MK

10:00 – Is he really trying to use this speech as an opportunity to press for continued action in Iraq? – DDC

9:59 – Moooooooooo!!! Moooooooooooo!!! – DDC

9:57 – Can you imagine if John McCain were a Democrat? The things the Republicans would say about his time as a POW? They'd probably say he was conspiring with the VC. – DDC

9:56 – "He is ready to lead this nation." Now. Not eight years ago. Back then, he had a black baby. – DDC

9:54 – Here's GWB. Hey, he kinda pronounced "Gustav" correctly. – DDC

9:53 – Cut to: Guy yawning. – DDC

9:51 – Michael just told me that Laura Bush is pro-choice! Gah!?! I'm not so amazed that she's pro-choice, but that she has an opinion. – DDC

9:49 – Wow. So that's what a mannequin looks like when it talks. – DDC

9:47 – They're really gunning for the ladies, aren't they? – DDC

9:46 – I swear to God there's a cow in that room. – DDC

9:45 – Laura Bush. This ought to be (un)interesting. (Is somebody mooing?) – DDC

9:39 – I love how the GOP is all about veterans injured in war this year. It's hard to reconcile this with the convention for years ago when they were mockingly wearing band-aids emblazoned with little purple hearts. – DDC

9:37 – Oh, man. This guy died. I'm an asshole. – DDC

9:35 – This documentary about Michael Whateverhisnameis is narrated by Gary Sinise. Gary Sinese is a Republican??? He's an actor from Chicago? WTF??? – DDC

9:34 – What the fuck am I watching? – MK

9:29 – I'm glad to see Anderson Cooper made it back to Minnesota in time for this convention. That means there'll be at least one person I'll kind of like on TV tonight. – DDC

9:23 – Lots of cowboy hats in the house. – DDC

9:21 - Wait. They're watching a video about George, Sr. But it's not even being piped into the TV networks. We're literally watching them watch it. That's kind of ghetto, isn't it? – DDC

9:14 – Okay, we're back in the hotel and have manged to wrestle the internet provider into submission (for the time being, at least). It's been a frustrating day for internet connections. Our apologies.

So, where are we? George H.W. Bush just recently entered the convention center with his mother, Barbara. And before that, some poor young woman was brow-beaten into singing before the aristocrats.

Looks like we have a Abraham Lincoln video coming up. Is that how far back they have to reach to portray a positive image of a Republican president? – DDC

—–

We're finishing up an interview, but will begin liveblogging in earnest shortly. In the meantime, watch MSNBC's coverage of night 2 of the RNC right here, and follow our tweets.

Joe Biden and John Kerry's Freudian Slips

Michael Kraskin — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:46:40 +0000

Tonight in their speeches, both Joe Biden and John Kerry slipped up and started to call John McCain, "George Bush."

Maybe I've been watching this election for too long, but I've become too cynical to think that these are honest mistakes. Could the Democrats be trying to make the case that John McCain is George Bush on a subliminal level in addition to their more overt superliminal campaign?

Take the poll

Free Poll by Blog Flux

(Lil') Bush Taking Drugs for Megalomania, ADD

TheInDecider — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:34:59 +0000

Tune into an all new episode of Lil' Bush tonight at 10:30p/9:30c on Comedy Central to see Lil' Bush, Rummy, Cheney and Condi all strung out on drugs.

Karl Roves Say the Darndest Things

CubbyChaser — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:09:55 +0000

Karl Rove on the deep lessons he learned while working with the Bushes…

"Well I've been privileged to work for two men who's last name is Bush. George H. W. Bush and George W. Bush are two pretty remarkable men.

And I've learned a lot from them, learned a lot about life, learned a lot about character, learned a lot about loyalty and trust and honesty and straightforwardness."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Heh heh heh…

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

But seriously…

George W. Bush: Available to Perform at Your Wedding or Bar Mitzvah Beginning in January

CubbyChaser — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:12:44 +0000

With the upcoming wedding of his daughter, President Bush has started working on his comedic material. Yesterday, the President joked…

"I had to face some very difficult spending decisions and I've had to conduct sensitive diplomacy. That's called planning for a wedding."

Good stuff. I'm guessing Bush picked that joke from a bevy of less successful humorisms such as…

"I was reviewing our CIA protocols on torture the other day and all of sudden I was like, hey, they should try picking out invitations!"

"Here's one WMD I could find: the Wedding of MY Daughter, huh?!"

and…

"The only thing harder than making a mockery of our Constitution is picking a band that can play rock and a foxtrot!"