The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Today, we're doing the same thing with members of the Bush family: George, George Jr. and Jeb. Here's what we came up with…

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Grill – George W. Bush

Okay, okay, okay. So, Dubya's not so much of a president. Nor much of an oil magnate. Nor much of baseball executive. But, come on, he's gotta be good at something, right?

And we saw that Oliver Stone movie. Who among you would not want to party with the main character from that film. You might not want him to decide your children's future, but we'll bet he comes to the cook-out with a fully stocked cooler. (And you'd better believe there's something extra special buried beneath the ice at the bottom. Shhhhhh…)

Come on, he's Wiffleball Tony. That's gotta be what he's good for.

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Grill – Jeb Bush

The way we see it, this is the Bush son that we were supposed to get as a president. Jeb was supposed to be handling things around the country while his older brother popped up every once in a while — Billy Carter-style — to say something jocular and slightly-embarrassing but ultimately harmless.

What ended up happening instead can only be explained as some kind of blip in the multiverse — a fraying of String Theory, if you will — and somewhere else, in some alternative reality, the world is going on as it should, Osama bin Laden was captured and imprisoned years ago and Dick Cheney is only a small footnote in history books.

So, we'd like to interview the man who would have been president and see how things are back in our old universe.

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Grill – George H.W. Bush

Sure, at the time, a lot of us thought he was a ineffectual, boring Reagan clone who pulled us into a Middle Eastern war — that lasted, like, a week — and didn't even have the balls to cross the Kuwaiti-Iraqi border.

But, in retrospect, that seems frickin' amazing, doesn't it? He's undoubtedly the greatest president named George Bush ever in the history of the United States. Hands down!

So, for that, we think he deserves a little bling.

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That bit of disappointment aside, Nate Silver looks at how his approval ratings so far match up with other presidents this far in…

Wow, this is really telling. Only two slots below the great George W. Bush. That's pretty badass. On the other hand, he's just one slot above Ronald Regan. Yuck.

Check out JFK all the way up top with a 73 percent approval rating. Now there was a guy who knew how to make a house out of fellatio.

Delicious fellatio.

12:39 – Damn! I was hoping for sea shantiers!

12:38 – Sea chanters?!

12:36 – From the comments: "Bush to Obama after speech: 'Hey, did you understand anything that guy up there just talked about?'" – JC

12:34 - At the rate he's reading, we all might die mid-prayer. – Matthew Tobey

12:33 – I hope this guy doesn't die mid-prayer.

12:32 – Another reverend? Where's the imam? where's the rabbi? Where's the witchdoctor? I feel left out.

12:31 – This po – em su – cks.

12:30 – What about the separation of poetry and state? – Mary Phillips-Sandy

12:28 – I think I rejected this poem back when I was editing my old online lit-zine.

12:27 - This – lady – enunci – ates – clear – ly. – Mary Phillips-Sandy

12:26 - Well, that was a pretty nice speech. It's really weird to be aware of yourself watching history unfold. It feels a little like huffing spray paint.

12:25 - Doris Kearns Goodwin just got the vapors. – Karen Lurie

12:24 - From the comments: "I keep expecting the camera to catch Bush hastily thumbing through a dictionary to follow Obama's speech." – Paul

12:23 – From the comments: "Obama just mentioned, 'The Force.' A Jedi is he hmmmph!" – Cube

12:21 – Is Obama the first president to actually acknowledge that some people might not believe in a sky god, hallowed be its name?

12:20 – "Nonbelievers." God bless him. – Matthew Tobey

12:18 – They sure didn't waste any time updating whitehouse.gov.

12:16 – Wow! What an amazing day for America! We actually have a Muslim atheist communist foreign-born president with a fake birth certificate.

We've come a long way, baby!

12:14 – He just said "science"! And he didn't say it with a sneer! Oh my god, is that guy really my president now?

12:13 – Any time my excitement about this moment flags, I just think about how much all of this cuts into the souls of people like Michelle Malkin.

12:10 – There are about twenty million Americans puzzled as to why Obama is not raising the roof right now. – Dustin Chinn

12:08 – From the comments: "I can't decide whether I'm supposed to make popcorn or genuflect." – Katie D.

12:07 – Shit! That canon is shooting at Obama! Stop that thing!

12:06 – It's over! Barack Obama is our president! George W. Bush no longer.

12:05 – Holy shit, this is actually happening. Obama is being sworn in for real right now!

12:04 – So is Joe Biden Bush's VP until Obama is sworn in? – Matthew Tobey

12:03 - Here's a 2%er: Yo Yo Ma playing is probably giving Josh Lyman flashbacks to when he got shot. – Matthew Tobey

(Apparently, that's a West Wing joke. I didn't get it, because I refuse to watch a show that supposes an Irish president.)

12:02 – Is that Yo Yo Ma playing with Itzhak Perlman? Too much diversity! Too much diversity!

12:00 – How'd that fiddler get down off his roof? Get back up on the roof, fiddler!

11:58 – Did you feel a disturbance in the force? Dick Cheney is no longer vice president. He's just some mean old Mr. Potter-looking guy.

11:57 - Joe Biden is getting sworn in. He looks like he's been blinded in some kind of bar fight, though.

11:53 - Now THAT is a church hat Aretha's wearing. – Dustin Chinn

11:52 – This invocation is mighty Christiany, isn't it? What about the rest of the country?

11:51 - Sasha does not have five syllables, Rick Warren. Matthew Tobey

11:51 – I wonder how many hardcore Evangelicals are spitting at their TVs right now.

11:50 – Funny. They didn't "forget" to televise Warren's prayer.

11:49 - From the comments: "A purpose driven Warren looks like he needs a purpose driven diet." – banana

11:48 – Rick Warren just told me that everything exists for God's glory. I wish somebody would have told me that before. I would have taken better care of my old Millenium Falcon toy.

11:46 - Dianne Feinstein looks like she buys her hair from the same place as Rod Blagojevich.

11:44 - From the comments: "The crowd boos Bush and sings "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye." Is everyone in the Mall from Philly?" – Cube

11:43 – Jesus H. Christ, it's Barack H. Obama!

11:41 – Holy god, that's a lot of people crammed in there! I wonder who's the guy in the way back.

11:40 – Wow! That's a whole lot of people applauding for Joe Biden. Seems unnatural.

11:39 – Wonder if Michelle Obama's discovered the treasure map hidden in the Lincoln Bible. – Dustin Chinn

11:37 – What the hell is that thing on George Bush Sr.'s head? Shouldn't the Secret Service be taking care of that problem?

11:34 - From the comments: "Like I told my wife, while I have never known a world with a black President, our daughter will never remember a world without one." – Bearness

That's a pretty cool thought.

11:33 - As of right now, George Bush is still president. Soak it up now while you can.

11:30 - The crowd is chanting, "Obama! Obama! Obama!" Yes, I believe they are ready to do his bidding.

11:25 – Okay, so I'm finally set up. Sorry I'm so late. My morning ablutions toward the White House took longer than I'd expected. But I'm here now.

So, uh, what's going on here? Some kind of ceremony or something?

* Barack Obama never did make it to this inaugural ball. Despite the higher level of intelligence than you'd find at most political functions.

* Somehow, I don't think he'll be making an appearance at this one either. Despite the higher class of people than you'd find at most political functions.

* Barack Obama to be sworn in alongside 500 body doubles… Just in case.

* The Palin family don't take kindly to white trash, ya know?

* Cindy McCain fields tough questions in her hardest interview to date.

* It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Again.

Today, President-elect Barack Obama met with all three living presidents of note in what will soon be his new working office.

And Jimmy Carter was there, too…

So the nation's living and future presidents assembled in the Oval Office for a family photo before lunch in the private dining room of the White House. The five men stood side-by-side and close together in front of Bush's desk. President Bush looked at Obama several times as he spoke and Obama nodded his head. They shook hands…

"I want to thank the president-elect for joining the ex-presidents for lunch," Bush said. "And one message that I have and I think we all share is that we want you to succeed…

"I just want to thank the president for hosting us," Obama said. "This is an extraordinary gathering. All the gentlemen here understand both the pressures and possibilities of this office, and for me to have the opportunity to get advice, good counsel and fellowship with these individuals is extraordinary and I'm very grateful to all of them."

Presumably, to Jimmy Carter as well.

Asked in a broadcast interview about Jeb Bush's consideration of the Senate seat, Bush 41 said: "I'd like to see him run. I'd like to see him be president someday."

Hey, that's funny. My dad says the same thing about me.

"Whatever. Yes, I would. I mean, right now is probably a bad time, because we've had enough Bushes in there. But no, I would. And I think he's as qualified and able as anyone I know on the political scene. Now, you've got to discount that. He's my son."

And as such, apparently, he should be discounted. Makes perfect sense.

The former president also took a moment to let us know that he still likes to make time for one of his favorite hobbies: setting up easy targets on his family members' heads…

The former president also plans to go skydiving once again, in June, to mark his 85th birthday. He will do so in tandem with an expert. "Just because you're an old guy, you don't need to sit around sucking your thumb drooling in the corner," he said.

And you don't even need to be old to do it. Hell, you can still be the president for the next two weeks and do that.

On January 20th — when George W. Bush ends his second term as president — it will be the first time since January 17, 1995 — when W. was inaugurated as governor of Texas — that a member of the Bush family has not held a prominent public office.

And even then, W. was only closing a two year window after his father handed the reigns of the presidency over to Bill Clinton. The last time, before that, was that nary a single Bush shone in the political limelight was January 20, 1981, when George H.W. Bush was sworn in as vice president under Ronald Reagan. In fact, the Bushes have not allowed their name to flutter very far from office since Grampa Prescott Bush first took office as a senator in 1952.

But, don't worry, because the Bushes are not planning on staying away for very long at all…

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush — the younger brother of the president — is weighing a run for the Senate seat currently held by Republican Mel Martinez.

Martinez announced Tuesday that he will not seek reelection in 2010. Asked whether he was interested in running for the seat then, Bush told Politico by e-mail Tuesday night: "I am considering it."

And, if for any reason, Jeb is unable to get re-elected in the slowly-skewing Democratic state of Florida in 2016, the Bush twins — Jenna and Barbara — will be 33 by then.

Well old enough to serve in congress. And only two years shy of making the mark for president.

That's right! None of these turkeys are from the inner-city.

Last year, Michael Kraskin pointed out here on this blog that in Bush's first seven years in office, not once did he pardon a non-caucasian turkey for Thanksgiving.

But, now, at Political Machine, he's showing us that the problem is much more systemic. It appears that no president since Harry Truman has pardoned a turkey of color. Not even Bill Clinton, our first black turkey president.

Let's hope that Barack Obama has the decency to make change happen and pardon, at least, a mixed-race turkey next year.

Update: Change has not come to America quite yet. Here's President Bush and this year's Thanksgiving pardon recipient, Pumpkin.

Even Dennis Hopper — who's done enough drugs to burn his brain into a permanent state of Republicanism — is endorsing Barack Obama over John McCain, as per this report from Wonkette…

[H]ippie icon and Republican-since-Reagan is in the tank for You Know Who, That One, Barack Obama. "I voted for Bush, father and son, but this time I'll vote for Obama," Hopper said in Paris, which is also in the tank for Obama. "I pray God that Barack Obama is elected."

Who's next? Roberta McCain?