Indecision Forever » George W. Bush

A Kind of Depressing Ten Years in Seven Kind of Depressing Minutes

Dennis DiClaudio — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:32:53 +0000

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but we're, like, a month and a half away from the end of The Aughts. What? Huh? Already? Really? How did this happen? Where has the time gone? (Better question: Where has my hair gone? I'm almost positive I had a whole bunch of it at the start of all this.)

Anyway, it's true. The decade is coming to an end. This might not mean much to you if — like a number of my friends — you spent the majority of it sleeping or drunk (or drunksleeping). So, if you wanna bring yourself up to speed before this all shuts down, here's a seven-minute wrap-up from Newsweek. [Spoiler Alert: It's been a kind of shitty ten years.]

This Modern World: 1/20/09, the Dawn of All Time

Dennis DiClaudio — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:58:47 +0000

Did you know that the universe spontaneously winked into existence on January 20, 2009 at approximately 12 pm EST?

It's totally true!

Two Living Presidents to Face Off Onstage (for Undisclosed Amounts of Dead Presidents)

Dennis DiClaudio — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:58:13 +0000

Think of the most exciting, important, high-stakes, political debate that you can devise inside your mind, one that is so pertinent to the world we live in today that its happening would almost certainly reshape the world around it.

Have you got it? Good.

That was fun, wasn't it? Oh, by the way, this thing, I guess, is happening…

On February 25th, former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton will share a stage at Radio City Music Hall in New York City…

A press release from the group said the two men will discuss "topics ranging from the economy to foreign policy."

A spokesperson for Madison Square Garden Entertainment, which is hosting the event, declined to discuss what, if anything, the former presidents are being paid. Organizers at these sorts of events generally do not disclose compensation.

You know what, though? This debate does have the potential to really cause some major waves in my Fantasy American Politics league.

HIV Travel Ban Ended Due to Years of Bipartisan Work, Obama's Pen

Dennis DiClaudio — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 17:56:32 +0000

As you may or may not know, there's been this federal law on the books for the past two decades which banned HIV victims from international travel for some reason or another. It was written by homophobes back when human adults actually thought the disease was brought about by an ancient desert god who wanted to smite sinners because of who they chose to have sex with; it was passed due to the politics of fear and hate; and it had absolutely no basis in either science or reason.

Oddly enough, it just got repealed…

President Obama called the 22-year ban on travel and immigration by HIV-positive individuals a decision "rooted in fear rather than fact" and announced the end of the rule-making process lifting the ban.

The president signed the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act of 2009 at the White House Friday and also spoke of the new rules, which have been under development more more than a year. "We are finishing the job," the president said…

The Senate finally voted to overturn the ban as part of approving legislation reauthorizing funding for the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, or PEPFAR, in 2008, and President Bush signed it into law on July 30 of that year. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and then-Sen. Gordon H. Smith (R-Ore.) led the process in the Senate.

Way to go, America! You got one right. I know that even a stopped clock is non-bigoted twice a day, but I don't want to dismiss this thing. This is a really good thing, and we probably all deserve milkshakes today.

But let's be clear here. The repealing of this nonsensical law was a bipartisan effort. But it's Obama's signature at the bottom of the document, and he'll probably get an undue amount of the credit/blame for this. Credit/blame that he doesn't really deserve. Right alongside the undue credit/blame he's gonna get for the gay-friendly hate crime legislation that just passed.

But, you know what Barack Obama can do for real for supporters of no-brainer civil rights, like, this afternoon? He can suspend Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the military with, essentially, a phone call. He can leverage some of his popularity in Maine and Washington to tip the scales in favor of the gay marriage referendums by issuing a simple statement. He can mention that he stands behind Arlen Specter in support of repealing the Orwellianly-titled Defense of Marriage Act.

Or not. He could also not do any of that.

I wonder which option he'll choose. I can't wait to find out!

George W. Bush Has Stephen Colbert Jacked Up

Matt Tobey — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:00:38 +0000

As you may have heard, former-President George W. Bush recently spoke at a motivational seminar in Texas, where he attempted to instill the optimism and drive one develops after leaving office with a 22% approval rating. I guess the lesson is, if most of the world hates him and he can still get out of bed in the morning, surely you can too. Either way, it's just good to have the funny President back in the news instead of Commie McSnoozington.

Jon Stewart's take on the event can be found below.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Barack Obama Catches Up to George Bush on the Golf Course, Still Deliberating Whether to Play Through

Dennis DiClaudio — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:09:51 +0000

Take note, historians: What took George Bush nearly three years to accomplish, Barack Obama handled tidily in less than ten months…

CBS' Mark Knoller — an unofficial documentarian and statistician of all things White House-related — wrote on his Twitter feed [Sunday] that, "Today – Obama ties Pres. Bush in the number of rounds of golf played in office: 24.

Took Bush 2 yrs & 10 months."

And the naysayers said "nay." Nay to those naysayers. (Know what I'm nayin'?)

Anyway, if he caught up to Bush's golf record that fast, just think how fast he'll be able to catch up to his body count.

The Daily Show's Best Election Fraud Moments

TheInDecider — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:57:59 +0000

Wow. We seem right now to be in a modern Golden Age of voter fraud allegations, don't we? And for good reason. It's so much less gory and blood-splattered than military coups. Well, usually.

So, while we're all waiting for everything in the world to get better and political power to be doled out fairly according to those who have earned it, let's watch some Daily Show clips…

September 17, 2009: Voter Fraud in Afghanistan

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

June 15, 2009: Irandecision 2009 – Election Results

November 29, 2004: Anarchy in the Ukraine

October 27, 2004: Election 2004 Fiasco Preview – Fraud

December 9, 2003: Indecision 2003 – Russia Votes

October 15, 2002: Headlines – Iraq the Vote

September 27, 2000: Headlines Block the Vote

George W. Bush, Rudy Giuliani and Colin Powell Will Speak to Everyone You've Ever Met For Whatever You've Got in Your Wallet and a Few Sandwiches

Dennis DiClaudio — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:35:49 +0000

So, you've got less than $20 in your budget, but really really need to get a former President of the United States to give a motivational speech to every single person that you work with. You're probably screwed, right? Because that's how things usually work in real life, right? Right?

Actually, maybe not. I have a feeling something can be arranged…

I know. I know! Those 1,900 pennies are only going to get you George W. Bush standing in front of all your co-workers? Really? Is that the best offer we can come up with?

Not in America, it's not!

Besides [Terry] Bradshaw ("legendary NFL Hall of Fame quarterback), [Zig] Ziglar ("America's #1 motivator") and [Rudy] Giuliani ("America's mayor"), Bush will appear at the Fort Worth event with Colin Powell ("legendary soldier-statesman"), Robert Schuller ("America's best inspirational speaker"), Rick Belluzzo ("legendary president of Microsoft") and Tamara Lowe ("top sales expert and author of Get Motivated!").

Nia Vardalos ("star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and My Life in Ruins") apparently had conflicts that day. Maybe next year.

Fox's Neil Cavuto Wants to Know: Is This the Bush Recovery?

Dennis DiClaudio — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:12:17 +0000

Here's a lesson for the Associated Press: Try as you might to lower yourself into the lowest recess of gutter sludge, but all your efforts will be thwarted. Because the Fox News has taken up permanent residence there…

The opening segment of yesterday’s Your World (10/15/09) focused on the Dow reaching 10,000. Neil Cavuto asked, "What was once the Bush recession is now the Bush recovery? Or is it a bit of a stretch? Jim Lacamp says give credit where it's due." Not surprisingly, he thought credit was due to George W. Bush.

First of all, hahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha! Neil Cavuto and everyone else over at News Corp. think they're people. They still haven't figured out that they're cartoons. Amazing.

Second of all, that speculation is just flat out preposterous. Everyone knows that this is the Nixon Recovery. (Finally, that guy's getting a little vindication.)

AP: Is Barack Obama Too Not Stupid for America?

Dennis DiClaudio — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:06:15 +0000

The Associated Press is apparently gunning for the much coveted anti-intelligence demographic (otherwise known as Fox's audience)…

Put aside for a moment the question of whether government is actually intruding into people's lives more than before. The point is that many people feel like it is — in part because Obama doesn't stop talking about his goals.

If President George W. Bush got slapped around for being inarticulate, is Obama obnoxiously articulate?

Wow! That is a really good question. One that really needs to be considered and discussed. I think that our generation might just be defined by this very weighty question.

I mean, I myself would like to offer my thoughts on this issue of obnoxious articulation… but I don't know what that means.

And I'll be fucking dead in the ground before I crack open one of those liberal dictionary things. That's where The Devil lives.