Election Day

We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.

No Fair Health Care

This former McCain campaign advisor on health care is going to loose his coverage. No, seriously.

Christie v. Python

Find out how to tell copyright infringement from quite a far way away by examining Rep. Chris Christie's campaign ad.

Daily Bloomberg

Watch these videos and take a trip down Memory Lane, where the flowers are always in Bloomberg.

Glenn Beck

November 6 at 5:43PM

"Scozzfavaed" Enters the Political Lexicon

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Dede Scozzafava never got to  realize her goal of making it into the United States House of Representatives, which must be difficult. And I don't suppose that making it into the Urban Dictionary is much consolation…

Scozzafavaed
(Pronounced: /skoʊzəfavəd/)
-verb

1. Purged of moderation, e.g., within in a Congressional district
2. Inadvertently revealed internal chaos, e.g., within in a political party
3. Adj., Doomed due to popular support of the GOP electorate

"Dude, you see Glenn Beck talking about how our congressman supports indoctrinating us in the ways of socialism through paper money last night? We need to get him Scozzafavaed."

Could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

(via Talking Points Memo)

November 6 at 9:22AM

Jon Stewart's Pitch-Perfect Glenn Beck Impression

POSTED BY: Matt Tobey

When I heard Glenn Beck had appendicitis, I thought there were only a few reasonable culprits. A vengeful God certainly came to mind. It could have also been the last dying act of the tattered remnants of Beck's conscience. But what if it's bigger than that? What if it's bigger than all of us? Fortunately, Jon Stewart was willing to ask the tough questions last night.



The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

November 5 at 1:29PM

Colbert: John McCain Is Now President of New Jersey and Virginia

POSTED BY: Matt Tobey

In light of Tuesday's elections, one thing is abundantly clear: If you want your boring local election to gain unwarranted national weight and prominence, hold it in an off year. Better yet, don't even hold it in November. Move your deputy county comptroller election to April 2011, and watch it become a bellwether referendum on the future of all carbon-based species.



After the jump, coverage of the election results continues with The Daily Show.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Read more »

November 4 at 8:25AM

Conservative Candidate Achieves the Impossible in NY-23

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

When plucky arch-conservative Doug Hoffman — representing Glenn Beck's Tea Party Party –stepped into the race for New York's 23rd district, even though Republican Dede Scozzafava was already running, he was on his way to truly making history.

And, last night, he and all his supporters — including Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Malkin — achieved what many thought could not be done: They delivered the NY-23 congressional seat into Democratic hands for the first time in more than a century

Democrat Bill Owens Tuesday won New York's 23rd Congressional District, parts of which have been in Republican hands since the Civil War.

Conservative Doug Hoffman conceded shortly after midnight. With 88 percent of precincts reporting, Owens led Hoffman by nearly 4,300 votes.

What more proof do you need that the politics of divisiveness really does achieve results?

November 3 at 10:58PM

Barack Obama Loses New Jersey Gubernatorial Race

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

This just in: Barack Obama has lost Jon Corzine's New Jersey gubernatorial bid for re-election to Glenn Beck's completely organic, grass roots Tea Party movement…

CNN projects that Chris Christie will unseat New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine, giving Republicans wins in both races for governor contested Tuesday.

Well, you can't argue with election results. This clearly means something or other of extreme importance in some way or another.

The president truly has let down his party, the country, the mammalian class and the entire Phylum Chordata.

November 3 at 11:07AM

The Onion: Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

This is a terrible, terrible day for feeling, caring human beings everywhere, and, therefore, obviously not for Glenn Beck

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