Indecision Forever » Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly's Monsters of Teabagging Tour

Dennis DiClaudio — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:29:26 +0000

I have to admit that if there was a chance in hell that this was coming through New York City, I'd be seriously tempted to throw down the money to see this…

Enough is enough — it's time for the truth from somebody who'll give it to you straight, whether you like it or not. Actually, make that… somebodys — Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck. This January, they're coming out from behind their desks and going on tour. Your town may never be the same.

My God! The twin diamonds that dangle most brightly from the Fox family's jewel sack. On tour together! Is this the greatest cultural event of our lifetime? I'm sure it's the greatest cultural event of somebody's lifetime.

Don't miss out on the rare opportunity to see these two men live on stage. It's an event that makes professional wrestling seem like a night at the opera.

Can you even imagine getting to see these two guys up on stage together? This thing is totally going to make professional wrestling seem like a night at the– Wait, what?

Aw, man. That was gonna be my punchline.

Satirical Cartoon Decays Last Frayed Fibers of Political Decency, Calls Sarah Palin a Mean Name

Dennis DiClaudio — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:17:09 +0000

This cartoon from Al Gore's Current TV had the temerity to label poor little Sarah Palin — who never said an unkind word about another human being — as a "Twilf" and showed her Twitter handle as being "Gun-Ho."

Obviously, this is the biggest scandal ever in the history of these United States of America…

That bit at the end, with Glenn Beck gleefully hurling his own feces at detractors, that seemed unfair.

He'd almost certainly be crying.

Jon Stewart Nails Hannity for Using Wrong Protest Footage

Matt Tobey — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:13:02 +0000

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out that Sean Hannity has been passing off footage from Glenn Beck's 9/12 rally as footage of a recent health care reform protest. It's certainly troubling. I don't know what to believe about Sean Hannity now. For all we know, his never-ending manipulative, bigoted, nationalistic, disingenuous, opportunistic rabble-rousing was stolen from someone else.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Rupert Murdoch Releases Spores of Support into the Air for Glenn Beck

Dennis DiClaudio — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:00:58 +0000

You may have heard that Rupert Murdoch — dark overlord of the News Corp empire — has recently unveiled, in an interview, his plan for world domination through making his sites invisible to Google's search engines and trying to abolish fair use.

Well, in that selfsame interview, he also backed up Glenn Beck — News Corp's newest bride — on his startling revelation, a few months back, that Barack Obama is a racist for reasons that are both too obvious to mention and too obscure to explain…

"On the racist thing, that caused a [unintelligible]," Murdoch said in an interview with his Sky News Australia over the weekend. "But [Obama] did make a very racist comment about blacks and whites and so on, which he said in his campaign he would be completely above. And that was something which perhaps shouldn't have been said about the President, but if you actually assess what he was talking about, [Beck] was right."

Oh, yes. That very racist comment about blacks and whites and so on. Who could possibly forget that very racist comment about blacks and whites and so on. Not with all the blacks and whites and so on rioting in the streets in the very racist comment's aftermath.

I guess sometimes we dismiss statements from Glenn Beck as merely nonsensical, offensive, bullshit from a clownish, mentally-feeble, obnoxious, morally bankrupt, unwatchable imbicile.

But things aren't always so black and white and so on.

SNL's Fair and Balanced Fox News Election Night Sketch

Dennis DiClaudio — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:16:04 +0000

I usually don't watch Saturday Night Live, because I already saw that one sketch they do. But, as it turns out, sometimes they do some other sketches. Like this one…

"Scozzfavaed" Enters the Political Lexicon

Dennis DiClaudio — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:43:39 +0000

Dede Scozzafava never got to realize her goal of making it into the United States House of Representatives, which must be difficult. And I don't suppose that making it into the Urban Dictionary is much consolation…

Scozzafavaed
(Pronounced: /skoʊzəfavəd/)
-verb

1. Purged of moderation, e.g., within in a Congressional district
2. Inadvertently revealed internal chaos, e.g., within in a political party
3. Adj., Doomed due to popular support of the GOP electorate

"Dude, you see Glenn Beck talking about how our congressman supports indoctrinating us in the ways of socialism through paper money last night? We need to get him Scozzafavaed."

Could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

(via Talking Points Memo)

Jon Stewart's Pitch-Perfect Glenn Beck Impression

Matt Tobey — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:22:31 +0000

When I heard Glenn Beck had appendicitis, I thought there were only a few reasonable culprits. A vengeful God certainly came to mind. It could have also been the last dying act of the tattered remnants of Beck's conscience. But what if it's bigger than that? What if it's bigger than all of us? Fortunately, Jon Stewart was willing to ask the tough questions last night.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Colbert: John McCain Is Now President of New Jersey and Virginia

Matt Tobey — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:29:47 +0000

In light of Tuesday's elections, one thing is abundantly clear: If you want your boring local election to gain unwarranted national weight and prominence, hold it in an off year. Better yet, don't even hold it in November. Move your deputy county comptroller election to April 2011, and watch it become a bellwether referendum on the future of all carbon-based species.

After the jump, coverage of the election results continues with The Daily Show.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Conservative Candidate Achieves the Impossible in NY-23

Dennis DiClaudio — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:25:38 +0000

When plucky arch-conservative Doug Hoffman — representing Glenn Beck's Tea Party Party –stepped into the race for New York's 23rd district, even though Republican Dede Scozzafava was already running, he was on his way to truly making history.

And, last night, he and all his supporters — including Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Malkin — achieved what many thought could not be done: They delivered the NY-23 congressional seat into Democratic hands for the first time in more than a century…

Democrat Bill Owens Tuesday won New York's 23rd Congressional District, parts of which have been in Republican hands since the Civil War.

Conservative Doug Hoffman conceded shortly after midnight. With 88 percent of precincts reporting, Owens led Hoffman by nearly 4,300 votes.

What more proof do you need that the politics of divisiveness really does achieve results?

Barack Obama Loses New Jersey Gubernatorial Race

Dennis DiClaudio — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:58:47 +0000

This just in: Barack Obama has lost Jon Corzine's New Jersey gubernatorial bid for re-election to Glenn Beck's completely organic, grass roots Tea Party movement…

CNN projects that Chris Christie will unseat New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine, giving Republicans wins in both races for governor contested Tuesday.

Well, you can't argue with election results. This clearly means something or other of extreme importance in some way or another.

The president truly has let down his party, the country, the mammalian class and the entire Phylum Chordata.