Now that we taxpayers own a controlling stake in General Motors, I'm really looking forward to sitting in on design meetings and offering my two cents. Maybe I'll finally realize my dream of owning a car with a glove compartment that makes spaghetti. Just kidding, I haven't paid taxes since 1997. Here's Jon Stewart's take on the issue.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

After an breathtaking fight between the U.S. auto industry and a pack of ravenous bears, it appears that the bears have gained the upper hand.

And as their powerful jaws hold poised and steady around GM and Chrysler's throats — awaiting permission to snap shut and collapse the two flailing companies' straining tracheas — the crowd turns its heads collectively up, up up toward The Presidential Box to witness a decision on their fate.

Barack Obama outstretches his fist and protruding thumb… and turns the wavering digit… down!

When it comes to General Motors and Chrysler, the government intends to allow nature take its course, and will let the two companies go into bankruptcy if need be. That's a sharp break with the usual stance taken by administrations from both parties — including this one — when it comes to the Big Three automakers; normally, they're prime examples of "too big to fail."…

And 76 percent of the crowd leaps to its feet cheering wildly, howling excitedly for blood! Or motor oil or break fluid or something. (I get tripped up with analogies sometimes.)