According to the newly released Senate healthcare bill, Democrats want to pay for reform by taxing so-called "Cadillac insurance plans." Which sounds good, until you remember GM filed for bankruptcy this year. "Cadillac" doesn't exactly mean what it used to. In fact, I'm pretty sure this means they're paying for healthcare reform by taxing Medicaid. Either way, Stephen Colbert has a fool-proof plan to protect his money from the socialist taxocrats.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

I usually don't watch Saturday Night Live, because I already saw that one sketch they do. But, as it turns out, sometimes they do some other sketches. Like this one…

See also:
Jon Stewart's Pitch-Perfect Glenn Beck Impression
The Onion: Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Over the past few weeks, we've explored the sibling rivalry between television/radio correspondents and bloggers. But what better way to end this feature than with an inspiring story which shows us how blogger-correspondent collaboration can literally save lives…

It seemed like any other Amtrak train on any other crisp April night. But it very much was not. Greta Von Susteren and her husband were aboard the DC-NY Amtrak train, when, all of a sudden, Von Susteren's husband, John Coale, heard a frightening sound, and nudged his wife to attention. Greta recognized the sound and knew it was one thing and one thing only: a food allergy attack. Herself a food allergic individual, Greta knew what she needed to do. Armed with a bendaryl tablet, Von Susteren ran to the rescue of the would-be victim and bravely administered the antihistamine.

The saved allergy-sufferer recalls the "indescribably terrifying" attack and the soothing words of her savior. "She was like 'I think I know what is happening to you. Don't worry about it. We're going to get you a Benadryl'." Though she'll never know for sure, the Benadryl recipient suspects that without the interVontion, "It would have been a thousand times worse." Greta claims, "I didn't do anything heroic. I did what anyone would have done." Maybe anyone would have done this.

But the person Von Susteren saved wasn't just anyone. She was none other than "far-left person" Ana Marie Cox.

The Fox News correspondent's actions were so brave Bill O'Reilly knighted Von Susteren a "Patriot" and stated that "Ironically, Miss Cox, a far-left person, now may owe her life to the Fox News Channel." Destiny (or bladder control) intervened once again, a month later when the two ran into each other, a month later, in the ladies room at White House Correspondents' Association dinner. Amidst the sound of hand blow dryers and flushing toilets, Cox uttered the following words: "Thank you for saving my life."

These women certainly have their differences (see chart below). But they were able to put them aside.

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Here's Gladstone's take on the whole Letterman/Palin stupidfest…

Jon and Stephen take a hard, veinous look at the not-at-all-Fox-News-organized teabagging parties that spontaneously occurred all around the nation yesterday, led mostly by representatives of Fox News…

Remember the Ewoks!

Q: What do you get when you take one state governor who believes that demonic witches prowl the Earth and mix her with a D.C. power couple who believe that our planet was seeded with the tattered souls of another world by intergalactic warlord 75 million years ago?

A: The next President of the United States. You betcha!