Fancy Nancy Pelosi has her heart set on a Saturday vote for this health care thing, because there is nothing in the Constitution to stop her from working on a weekend, but people on both sides of the aisle are digging in their heels, shaking their heads, throwing things, etc., so the vote may not happen until Sunday if it happens at all.

The reason should be obvious…

The question of abortion coverage in the health care bill has bedeviled top Democrats for weeks. Under its current language, the measure would allow individuals to purchase policies through a new insurance exchange that would cover abortion procedures.

Getting "abortion" mixed up with "valid legal medical care" is, of course, contrary to everything America stands for. Doesn't anyone have a better idea, one that won't just cater to pro-choice types?

Democratic leaders may turn to compromise language drafted by Rep. Brad Ellsworth, an Indiana Democrat opposed to abortion rights. Ellsworth has proposed using private contractors to pay providers of abortion services – an idea that has come under fire from both supporters and opponents of abortion rights.

Nice work, Rep. Ellsworth! I don't have a dictionary handy, but I'm pretty sure that's the textbook definition of a compromise.

Michele Bachmann's Stanley Cup of Patriotism went down today and seemed, by all accounts, to be a resounding success for vague conservative ideals, drawing thousands of Teabagging protesters to the steps of the Capitol to yell and scream and play The Angry Game. Yay, angry!

A series of spot interviews suggests that the protesters have come to Washington from all across the country – Texas, Ohio, Oregon and the greater Washington area. It’s a generally older crowd, many in their 50s and 60s, predominantly, white, and many self-identified as Christians. They are fiercely conservative and deeply skeptical of the government, many of them adamantly opposed to abortion rights.

Whoa! They got white conservative Christians and Christian conservative whites! That's a broad coalition they've got there.

Many of the demonstrators, like Judith Garloch of Newark, Ohio, said they were opposed to an increasing government role in the health care. Many said they feared cuts to the Medicare program for Americans 65 and over… But Ms. Garloch, like many in the crowd who while visibly angry could not articulate the main problems in the health care system or how they should be solved.

To be fair, being informed and knowing what you're angry about are not requirements for The Angry Game.

All you need is a sign and a swastika.

To the gridiron, patriots, and by gridiron I mean Capitol Hill! It is time to tackle the socialist problem of health care reform, and by tackle I mean tackle! Your starting quarterback for this game will be the one and only Michele Bachmann, bantamweight from Minnesota, the woman who kicked off the puck on Fox News the other day with a call for "freedom-loving Americans" to attend her "Super Bowl of Freedom" and help her cry foul in the offices of Congress at noon today. Goooooaaaaaaal!

I have now run out of sports words, so let's go to the quote…

Rep. Michele Bachmann's message for conservatives traveling to Washington to attend her Capitol Hill House Call event Thursday is simple: "Go into the Capitol and find members of Congress," she told activists Wednesday night. "Don't bring your pitchforks, bring your video cameras. And get them on record saying how they're going to vote and why. And tell them, 'Take your hands off my health care!'"

Of course, if you do have a spare pitchfork lying around, couldn't hurt to bring it along. Just in case you happen to catch Nancy Pelosi trying to slam dunk a public option over the last wicket when the umpire isn't looking.

^{p.s.: Everybody, please be nice to Dennis today. Some group called the Yankees did something bad last night — caved to anti-choice Blue Dogs on abortion provisions, maybe? — and I know he's upset.}

So, it's now looking like Harry Reid and his gang of do-nothing Democrats in the Senate have lost New York City to popular New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg…

With 97 percent of precincts reporting, Mr. Bloomberg was narrowly leading Comptroller William C. Thompson Jr., his Democratic rival, 50.5 percent to 46.1 percent. The mayor was projected to win by a much thinner margin than in 2005 — when he thoroughly trounced Fernando Ferrer — and than many had anticipated.

Whoa! So, not only did Harry Reid lose New York City to the already sitting mayor, but he did it by a much smaller margin than people expected he'd lose it by, which clearly shows Americans' frustration with Democratic legislators insistence on trying to insidiously provide them with moderately more affordable health care.

Look at me! I'm punditing!

David Rees — author of the dearly departed Get Your War On comic — is, I guess, blogging on True/Slant these days. (That's one of those websites that I should go to more, but that I don't, because I so rarely get to read the entire Internet these days.)

Anyway, yesterday he posted 10 Jokes About Joe Lieberman and His Threat to Filibuster Any Health Care Bill Which Includes a Public Option, and — I'm gonna level with you here — you need to read them…

1. Joe Lieberman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender turns to him and says, "Sorry, we don’t serve bitter old egomaniacs here. And fuck your stupid parrot."

2. Joe Lieberman walks into a second bar. The second bartender says, "Get out." Joe Lieberman says, "Why? Can't I buy a drink?" The second bartender says, "Don’t you get it? Everybody hates you."

3. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Joe Lieberman.
Get off my doorstep, you asshole.

I heard that second one back in grade school. But the others were new!

Seven more over here.

Here's a quick question for you: What's the single biggest threat facing Americans today? If you said terrorism, you're close. That's definitely a huge threat that you should really be more afraid of — especially today, on Election Day — but it's only number two.

Number one, though, is so much worse…

As the House convened Monday afternoon, Ms. [Virginia] Foxx, a North Carolina Republican, lashed out at the proposal Democrats are trying to bring to the floor for a vote by the weekend, hitting it for potentially using tax dollars to pay for abortions, among other things…

"I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country," Ms. Foxx said, adding later: "It is a bad bill and the American people should be frightened of it."

You know what we should do? We should give health care to the terrorists. Or would that violate the Geneva Conventions?