As you may or may not know, there's been this federal law on the books for the past two decades which banned HIV victims from international travel for some reason or another. It was written by homophobes back when human adults actually thought the disease was brought about by an ancient desert god who wanted to smite sinners because of who they chose to have sex with; it was passed due to the politics of fear and hate; and it had absolutely no basis in either science or reason.

Oddly enough, it just got repealed…

President Obama called the 22-year ban on travel and immigration by HIV-positive individuals a decision "rooted in fear rather than fact" and announced the end of the rule-making process lifting the ban.

The president signed the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act of 2009 at the White House Friday and also spoke of the new rules, which have been under development more more than a year. "We are finishing the job," the president said…

The Senate finally voted to overturn the ban as part of approving legislation reauthorizing funding for the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, or PEPFAR, in 2008, and President Bush signed it into law on July 30 of that year. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and then-Sen. Gordon H. Smith (R-Ore.) led the process in the Senate.

Way to go, America! You got one right. I know that even a stopped clock is non-bigoted twice a day, but I don't want to dismiss this thing. This is a really good thing, and we probably all deserve milkshakes today.

But let's be clear here. The repealing of this nonsensical law was a bipartisan effort. But it's Obama's signature at the bottom of the document, and he'll probably get an undue amount of the credit/blame for this. Credit/blame that he doesn't really deserve. Right alongside the undue credit/blame he's gonna get for the gay-friendly hate crime legislation that just passed.

But, you know what Barack Obama can do for real for supporters of no-brainer civil rights, like, this afternoon? He can suspend Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the military with, essentially, a phone call. He can leverage some of his popularity in Maine and Washington to tip the scales in favor of the gay marriage referendums by issuing a simple statement. He can mention that he stands behind Arlen Specter in support of repealing the Orwellianly-titled Defense of Marriage Act.

Or not. He could also not do any of that.

I wonder which option he'll choose. I can't wait to find out!

The Onion pretty much sums up everything there is to sum up here. I think we can all go home now…

Claiming that the president was preying on the public's fear of contracting a fatal disease last week when he declared the H1N1 virus a national emergency, Republican leaders announced Wednesday that they were officially endorsing the swine flu…

Other prominent Republicans opposing Obama's declaration of emergency include Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal, who urged residents of his state to continue not washing their hands, and radio host Rush Limbaugh, who made a point of dying of the virus during his show on Wednesday.

I don't think there's anything to add to that. We can probably all just go home now.

See also: U.S. Continues Quagmire-Building Effort In Afghanistan

So, we've got some good news and some bad news about the Swine Flu, or the H1N1 flu, as people who are afraid of saying "Swine Flu" call it.

The good news is that one day there will probably be some good news about it. The bad news is that we're all gonna die…

President Obama has declared a national emergency to deal with the "rapid increase in illness" from the H1N1 influenza virus.

"The 2009 H1N1 pandemic continues to evolve. The rates of illness continue to rise rapidly within many communities across the nation, and the potential exists for the pandemic to overburden health care resources in some localities," Obama said in a statement.

Politicians! Always sugar-coating everything.

But, really, this is all much worse than it sounds. (Unless you're dead already, in which case it probably doesn't sound like anything.) Look, see! You might maybe one day get to have a vaccine hopefully…

Kathleen Sebelius, secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, said the vaccine is coming off the production lines slower than the administration would like, but that there will eventually be enough vaccine for everyone.

Yeah, because once the first dozen or so million people have already succumbed to the virus and been placed in one of the neat piles of corpses that will be erected outside all our major cities, the demand for a vaccine should really taper off and reach a level closer to the actual amount of vaccine shots available.

And then deciding who gets those will be a simple matter of fighting it out inside the Thunderdome.

You didn't really think the government was ill-prepared for this, did you?

Progressives have been trying really hard to make American voters lose their negative opinions of a public option in health care and instead want to have sex with it.

This ad, I think, should work just right…

I wonder who they'll get to play Obama's next stimulus package.

Uh oh. Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist — an actual heart surgeon who is best known crazy anti-science things like this — just recently made Bill Maher — a man who was recently honored for a reasonable thing like this — look like Bill Frist.

And that is not a good thing…

Mr. Maher recently told his Twitter followers that people who get flu shots are "idiots."

(For the record, here's that tweet: "If u get a swine flu shot ur an idiot." U r gng 2 hav 2 xcuse his spllng. Hes supr hip!!! Anyway, shall we continue?)

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You know, when you think about it, this just makes perfect sense…

Alex Lange is a chubby, dimpled, healthy and happy 4-month-old. But in the cold, calculating numbered charts of insurance companies, he is fat. That's why he is being turned down for health insurance…

Alex's pre-existing condition — "obesity" — makes him a financial risk.

Hey, this is America! If four-month-old Alex Lange wanted health insurance, then he shouldn't have spent the past 13 months of his development developing into such a big fat lardass.

Seriously, kid. Stop being such a health care queen and go run a few laps around the playpen. And would it kill you to drink some 2 percent breast milk once in a while?

On second thought, why don't you just go and live in Canada or Great Britain. America is no place for fat people.