Oddly enough, it just got repealed…

President Obama called the 22-year ban on travel and immigration by HIV-positive individuals a decision "rooted in fear rather than fact" and announced the end of the rule-making process lifting the ban.

The president signed the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act of 2009 at the White House Friday and also spoke of the new rules, which have been under development more more than a year. "We are finishing the job," the president said…

The Senate finally voted to overturn the ban as part of approving legislation reauthorizing funding for the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, or PEPFAR, in 2008, and President Bush signed it into law on July 30 of that year. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) and then-Sen. Gordon H. Smith (R-Ore.) led the process in the Senate.

Way to go, America! You got one right. I know that even a stopped clock is non-bigoted twice a day, but I don't want to dismiss this thing. This is a really good thing, and we probably all deserve milkshakes today.

But let's be clear here. The repealing of this nonsensical law was a bipartisan effort. But it's Obama's signature at the bottom of the document, and he'll probably get an undue amount of the credit/blame for this. Credit/blame that he doesn't really deserve. Right alongside the undue credit/blame he's gonna get for the gay-friendly hate crime legislation that just passed.

But, you know what Barack Obama can do for real for supporters of no-brainer civil rights, like, this afternoon? He can suspend Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the military with, essentially, a phone call. He can leverage some of his popularity in Maine and Washington to tip the scales in favor of the gay marriage referendums by issuing a simple statement. He can mention that he stands behind Arlen Specter in support of repealing the Orwellianly-titled Defense of Marriage Act.

Or not. He could also not do any of that.

I wonder which option he'll choose. I can't wait to find out!

Claiming that the president was preying on the public's fear of contracting a fatal disease last week when he declared the H1N1 virus a national emergency, Republican leaders announced Wednesday that they were officially endorsing the swine flu…

Other prominent Republicans opposing Obama's declaration of emergency include Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal, who urged residents of his state to continue not washing their hands, and radio host Rush Limbaugh, who made a point of dying of the virus during his show on Wednesday.

I don't think there's anything to add to that. We can probably all just go home now.

See also: U.S. Continues Quagmire-Building Effort In Afghanistan

The good news is that one day there will probably be some good news about it. The bad news is that we're all gonna die…

President Obama has declared a national emergency to deal with the "rapid increase in illness" from the H1N1 influenza virus.

"The 2009 H1N1 pandemic continues to evolve. The rates of illness continue to rise rapidly within many communities across the nation, and the potential exists for the pandemic to overburden health care resources in some localities," Obama said in a statement.

Politicians! Always sugar-coating everything.

But, really, this is all much worse than it sounds. (Unless you're dead already, in which case it probably doesn't sound like anything.) Look, see! You might maybe one day get to have a vaccine hopefully…

Kathleen Sebelius, secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services, said the vaccine is coming off the production lines slower than the administration would like, but that there will eventually be enough vaccine for everyone.

Yeah, because once the first dozen or so million people have already succumbed to the virus and been placed in one of the neat piles of corpses that will be erected outside all our major cities, the demand for a vaccine should really taper off and reach a level closer to the actual amount of vaccine shots available.

And then deciding who gets those will be a simple matter of fighting it out inside the Thunderdome.

You didn't really think the government was ill-prepared for this, did you?

This ad, I think, should work just right…

I wonder who they'll get to play Obama's next stimulus package.

And that is not a good thing…

Mr. Maher recently told his Twitter followers that people who get flu shots are "idiots."

(For the record, here's that tweet: "If u get a swine flu shot ur an idiot." U r gng 2 hav 2 xcuse his spllng. Hes supr hip!!! Anyway, shall we continue?)

On his Friday HBO show "Real Time With Bill Maher," he explained his opposition to the flu vaccine during an interview with Bill Frist, a heart surgeon who was a Republican senator from Tennessee…

He said he did not believe that healthy people were vulnerable to dying from the new H1N1 virus. This contradicts statements from the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that young, healthy people from ages 5 to 24 appear particularly vulnerable to this flu. About a third of the 76 children who have died of H1N1 since April have had no underlying health problems…

Dr. Frist then cited two recent New England Journal of Medicine articles describing flu cases in the United States and the Southern Hemisphere that documented the high risks of this flu to pregnant women.

Dr. Frist: I know you don't believe this, but I'm telling you the facts. Because if you send a signal out telling pregnant women not to get this vaccine…

Mr. Maher: (interrupting) I do.

Dr. Frist: Well, you're wrong. I'm serious.

I get it, Bill Maher. I understand why you didn't immediately say, "Okay, I admit it. I'm the wrongest person ever. Let's take a break while I have my brain parts repaired."

Because it's, like, super embarrassing to have Bill Frist — a man who thinks it's possible to ascertain a person's brain function by observing home videos of them lying in a bed — remind you of how remarkably dangerous and irresponsible it is to use your celebrity to try to get pregnant women to not vaccinate themselves against a virus that is targeting them directly.

It's probably, like, even more embarrassing than getting dropped off at school by your totally lame single father who's always crying from loneliness and fear of loss as you recede farther and farther from the car.

Just so long as you stop promoting this nonsense now, we'll give you a pass.

Alex Lange is a chubby, dimpled, healthy and happy 4-month-old. But in the cold, calculating numbered charts of insurance companies, he is fat. That's why he is being turned down for health insurance…

Alex's pre-existing condition — "obesity" — makes him a financial risk.

Hey, this is America! If four-month-old Alex Lange wanted health insurance, then he shouldn't have spent the past 13 months of his development developing into such a big fat lardass.

Seriously, kid. Stop being such a health care queen and go run a few laps around the playpen. And would it kill you to drink some 2 percent breast milk once in a while?

On second thought, why don't you just go and live in Canada or Great Britain. America is no place for fat people.

Though, if it were, it would be a brilliant one…

Yeah, I'll bet abortions are totally gross. Right now, I believe in a woman's right to make really big life decisions for herself, but I bet if I saw all that blood, I'd change my mind about all that.

It's just like when I saw that open heart surgery being performed and then spent the next six years protesting cardiologists.

* If you don't rebuild, the Jedis win. They hate our way of life.

* This article here says that people's faith in the accuracy in news reporting has hit its lowest point in two decades. But, you know, I don't fucking believe that shit.

* Sen, Robert Byrd just wants to protect young gay men from getting molested by Julius Ceasar. Or something.

* Majority of doctors found to be socialist scum.

* Double-Yoo Tee Eff, ACORN? If you're going to be corrupt, do you have to be moronic about it, too?

* Best headline of the day: "Prosecutor Won't Let Bill Richardson Put Probe Behind Him" – Maybe Richardson should start him off with a little wine.

* What's up with Michele Bachmann and God? Is she maybe seeing other deities?

* Will the Swine Flu cause Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart to get super angry?*

* Obama's "green jobs czar" demands to know the truth about ridiculous 9/11 conspiracy theory.

^{* Nerd!!!}

I was gonna make joke here about Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and how George Bush tried to make everybody believe that social security was ailing so that he could sell our futures to his corporate friends, but then it got all complicated and off topic and then ultimately I just couldn't be bothered.

So, I'm just gonna lie here for a while longer and watch The Price Is Right. (Wake me up, if Plinko happens.)